The Mind Of an Angel
by ATOMIC.SQUIRREL
Summary: How does an angel think? Shinji's intervention in the battle against the 15th has an unexpected repercussion...
1. The 15th

**THE MIND OF AN ANGEL**

Disclaimer: If you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

_SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: Before you begin reading this chapter, allow me to explain something. These chapters, and many after it, have a rather bad grammar and paragraph structure. I have considered many times to rewrite them. However, I have not, and here's why: It is the evolution of my writing ability. From chapters 1-7, there is a steady improvement in my writing, in chapter 8 it jumps again, and once it enters the double digits it's actually good. I have decided to leave it as it is, as a reminder of what I once was. I implore you to read a few chapters before making up your mind on this fic. It is mainly story based, so if you don't even like the story, feel free to stop. Nothing in these chapters have been tampered with, they are as originally published. Leave me your reviews, and tell me what you think. _

This takes place while the 15th angel is attacking.

**Chapter 1: the 15th**

In the small hum of unit 01s plug, sat Shinji Ikari, only one other sound disturbed the relative silence-

The screaming…

He couldn't take it anymore…

He had been sitting there for almost ten minutes, hearing Asuka scream in pain inside her EVA.

This angel was attacking from orbit, all their weapons where out off range; even the positron rifle had no effect.

He had heard Misato mention another plan and he just couldn't take the screams anymore…

"Misato let me go out in unit 01!" Misato was surprised at the sudden sound of Shinji's voice, she had all but forgotten about him trough the chaos of the situation.

"Forget it!" screamed the sub commander "this angel has the ability to attack the pilot's mind, its too dangerous!"

"Yes, we cannot allow unit 01 to be touched by an angel" added the commander.

"But that can't happen as long as I'm not defeated!" Misato noticed a sound of desperation in Shinji's voice now.

"There is no guarantee of that"

"But if don't do something, Asuka will die!"

"That is true, Rei, go to Dogma and get the lance"

After that all Shinji heard was the sound of them arguing amongst themselves, but he wasn't just going to sit here.

"MISATO!" he screamed, "Just let go of the restraints, Rei wont get there in time!"

"We cannot risk the contamination of unit 01" said the sub-commander "Rei is already being lowered to Dogma"

"Please Misato" he pleaded.

Misato was amazed at how desperate Shinji was now, but if she did this the commander might do more than simple fire her…

Asuka was in danger, but what could Shinji do to help her?

She made the decision.

"Release the restraints," she said coolly.

"Major I suggest you reconsider" said the commander; this time there was a hint of anger in his voice.

"DO IT!" she yelled, looking at Makoto's direction; he gave a small nod and proceeded.

"MAJOR, YOU ARE OUT OF LINE!" yelled the sub-commander "YOU ARE JEPERDIZING TWO EVAS!"

"Calm down old friend, major, what exactly do you expect Shinji will do?" asked the commander.

Misato didn't know the answer to this…

She just hoped he could do SOMETHING

* * *

"STOP RAPING MY MIND!"

She couldn't take anymore; the memories, the pain, and the fact that nobody was apparently going to help her were all too much for her…

"I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER ANY OF THIS!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" the pain was getting worse, as if the angel was digging deeper into her mind…

"ASUKA!"

She could barely see the silhouette of unit 01, coming to where her EVA was writhing in pain.

"Shi-…Shinji?" she could barely talk, let alone put together a coherent thought.

* * *

_**Another one?**_

* * *

"ASUKA! RAISE YOUR AT FIELD!" unit 01 was already at her side, extending its arm.

The beam seemed to almost quiver for a moment.

Asuka, with all the strength she had in her, raised her arm and tried to form the AT field.

The beam stopped all together.

The pain was gone, she could actually think now, and she noticed the fact that she was incredibly tired, and sore everywhere…

Although unit 02 stooped flailing, it was starting to lose its footing, and their AT field seemed to be weakening.

"Asuka? Hold out a little longer, Rei's coming!"

At that moment unit 02 fell the the street bellow, its AT field disappeared-

Leaving Shinji in the line of fire…

"AHHHHHHH!" Shinji's screams where heard all over the bridge.

_Oh please god no… _was Misato's last thought before falling to her knees, crying.

* * *

_**This one is different… no matter; his mind is mine to play with…**_

_Please Rei… Hurry up with that lance…._

_**WHAT? The Lilim have the Lance!**_

* * *

"Rei has surfaced with the lance!" yelled Makoto, Misato cleared her eyes looked at the screen; indeed unit 00 was holding a red lance in its hands.

"The coordinates are in Rei, ten seconds to launch"

Rei sat in her plug, ignoring all other sounds-

Even Shinji's screams…

Soryu had fallen, and it was only a matter of seconds before Ikari did as well…

She must no fail.

"5"

"4"

"ITS CHANGING POSITION!" yelled one of the other bride techs.

"1"

Rei willed her EVA foreword, and the lance was thrown at an incredible speed, parting the heavens.

* * *

_**Must evade the lance, or else all –**_

The angel was shifting its position slightly to the side; a small gleam could be seen as the lace came at it.

Although it had moved slightly, the lance hit its wing, tearing it apart, and it let out an inhuman screech.

_**Must…focus…on…the…berserker….**_

The angel seemed to be trying to keep the beam on unit 01 as long as possible, but eventually, with one last screech, it dissipated…

* * *

Shinji let out one last scream, this time it sounded more along the lines of a whimper, and unit 01 fell to street below as well.

"Dr. Akagi, is there any permanent damage on unit 01?" asked the commander.

Ritsuko looked at the screens and then said, "No, no mental contamination detected"

"Rei, retrieve the plugs and bring them back to base" he ordered

Unit 00 charged where the two EVAS had fallen, and started to eject the plugs

The commander stood up from his chair and started to exit, he glanced at the major who was still crying.

"Ill deal with you later"…

* * *

**2 days later...**

Shinji started to open his eyes, only to be welcomed by an all to familiar ceiling.

He blinked a few times and stared to look around. He wasn't connected to anything, which was good, and nobody was on the other bed…

"Hello pilot Ikari"

Shinji jerked his head to the direction of the sound, to see Rei sitting in a chair next to the bed with her school uniform.

"Hi Rei, how long was I-?"

"You were asleep for approximately two days Ikari"

_Two days! _He thought_ guess that really took a lot out of me… _

"Rei, is Asuka ok, and what happened to Misato?" he asked at the blue haired girl.

"Pilot Soryu is stable Ikari, although Dr. Akagi doesn't know hen she will awake" Rei paused for a second, then continued "and the Major is speaking to the commander at the moment"

"Rei, what happe- oh god…" Now he remembered, Asuka, the angel, the lance, but worst of all… the pain, memories he never wanted to see…

Rei was confused as to why he was starting to cry, but remembered what had happened to him and Soryu.

"I…am sorry" She said, " I did not acquire the lance fast enough…"

"No Rei" he sniffed "Its not your fault, its just that I'm a little tired…"

"I understand" Rei started to leave and when she was at the doorway she said, "Sleep well Shinji " with that, she left

He noticed she didn't call him the usual 'Ikari', but paid no attention to it, he laid back down on the bed, and let sleep take him.

Or would have if he wasn't interrupted by a voice…

_**Hello, Berserker…**_

* * *

_**A/N**_So that's the first chapter for ya, I'm new at this, so sorry if it's a little short.

Though I mean to make this into a series, if anybody wants to proofread; contact me and review please!


	2. Arael

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

**Chapter 2: Arael**

_**Hello, Berserker…**_

Shinji blinked, and looked around; no one had come in…

Can't remember can you? 

He looked again trying to see if there weren't any cameras or anything for that matter.

_Where is that voice coming from? _

_**From your own head… you really can't recognize my voice?**_

It sounded so familiar yet he couldn't quite…

But from where?

_Oh god…_ he remembered now, the crescendo, the beam and….

That voice…

"HEL---" he screamed but started to clutch the front of his head, he was a feeling pain, like a migraine but in one single place.

**_I wouldn't do that Berserker, I may be a shadow of what I use to be but I can still bring back the memories._**

"Please," he begged "not the memories…" the pain raised and he made a sound close to a whimper.

_**Then you will hear me out, and do not make a single cry for help, or what I did to the Red One will seem like nothing compared to this…**_

He simply nodded, and the pain was gone, he slumped against the wall for support.

_**Now let's talk shall we?**_

"What do you want? Who are you?" he said between gasps

_**I believe you have figured out I am the Angel, as to what I want, therein lies the problem…**_

There was a pause, though it only lasted a few seconds, it felt like eternity for Shinji; he was scared beyond reasoning…

_**I want you to protect me.**_

"What!" Shinji was more than surprised, "What should I do that!"

The pain came back harder than ever, but only for a second, he yelped as he fell from the bed.

"Why do you need protection?" He was cringing from the pain as he said this.

**_MIND YOUR VOICE BOY, as for why? Well as I have mentioned I am merely a shadow of what I was… I am far weaker than you think, and you lilim would probably destroy me…_**

"Then why should I do it" he was trying to climb back to the bed, though he suddenly his limbs weak.

_**Well I have completely read your memories Berserker, and if you report this to anyone I could simply torture one of your dear allies…**_

Shinji stopped dead as he was about to climb the bed, indulging the whole complementation of what the angel just said…

_**How about the Blue one? Ayanami is it?**_

"No…"

_**Or I could finish off what I started with the Red one?**_

"No…." tears were under his eyes now

_**Then your guardian? The one you so deeply care for?**_

"NO!" he was crying at this point, clutching on to the sheets for support.

After about a few minutes of this, he cleaned his eyes and said

"Even if it causes others pain… I can't let you live…"

_**Well, well, well, your more determined than I thought Berserker…**_

"You aren't as powerful as before, and Dr. Akagi will find a way to help me.."

_**When you put it that way, it really looks like I have nothing to bargain do I?**_

Shinji was confused, why had the angel give up so easily…

_**But I have two things Berserker, one is the fact that if they know I jumped from my mind to yours, I'm sure your precious "Magi" system would say that there is a pretty good chance of me doing it again.**_

_Oh no…_

**_And from what I've seen from your memories, your father would value your EVA and the lives of others more, meaning, he would isolate you and-_**

"Kill me…" he said quietly, it was true, his father couldn't care less about him…

_**Preciesly... **_

"But…"

_**Yes?**_

"You failed didn't you, you tried to beat us, but now you cant do anything…"

There was a small pause, Shinji was wondering if he was actually making it think…

_**That is true Berserker, as for why I ask of you too protect me, angels and lilim have one thing in common… I do not wish to die…**_

Shinji never thought that the things that he was fighting actually had an instinct like this…

"You said there were two reasons?"

_**And there is a second reason, for if you do protect me…**_

_**My powers will be at your disposal**_

Shinji was silent as was the angel.

_**What's left of them anyways…, I can read minds for you, hurt those that pain you…stimulate their thoughts…**_

Shinji thought of the implementation of this…

_**All you have to do is let me live…**_

Shinji heard a click at the door; he whirled around to see who it was.

There stood his guardian, Misato, looking much more tired than usual.

"Shinji," she asked, "are you ok? The nurse said she heard screams…"

_**Moment of truth Berserker…**_

"Shinji?"

_**What's it going to be?**_

Shinji finally climed on to the bed, and said:

"I'm fine Misato, I just fell out of the bed", He finally noticed just how worn out she looked " are you ok Misato?"

Misato took a deep breath and said " Just tired Shinji, The doctors say I can take you home tomorrow, so ill pick you up at noon"

"Misato," he made a small pause to gather the strength "thank you, for letting me help Asuka…, I hope you didn't get fired…"

Misato sighed then continued "No Shinji, they didn't fire me…"

"Then what happened?"

"Ill tell you later Shinji"

He could've sworn he saw her shudder as she said this, "I'm sorry Misato, if I hadn-"

"No Shinji, you saved Asuka and that's all that matters, ill pick you up tomorrow, k?

"Ok, thanks Misato, really…"

Misato gave him a smile before she left the room.

As the door clicked, he slumped on the bed, tired form the ordeal…

_Good boy…_

Shinji didn't like the remark, but he feel asleep before he could think about it…

* * *

As soon as Misato closed the door, she fell onto the floor, crying…

* * *

**Next day, 11:00 AM**

Rei had been watching him for almost the whole morning now; she had skipped school to simply watch him sleep.

She didn't know she had this sudden, almost protective, feeling for him; ever since he arrived in the Hospital from the Angel…

Why?

"Mmm" Shinji was starting to stir, Rei almost felt a sudden happiness arise as he started to turn around.

Shinji opened his eyes and saw the red eyes of Ayanami staring at him vividly.

"Hello Ayanami, didn't you have school today?" he said with a yawn.

"I did not feel like attending"

"Why?"

"I just did"

Shinji propped himself up on the bed to see her better, and she was wearing her school uniform.

"Why are you wearing your uniform, Ayanami?"

"I do not require any other clothes"

Deciding that he shouldn't press the subject anymore, he asked:

"Ayanami, did Asuka wake up yet?"

Rei looked confused for a moment, then said:" The Second is comatose, did I not make myself clear?"

_Asuka is in a coma_! Shinji thought

**_Guess I did more damage than I intended…_**

"Are you allrigth Shinji?" asked Ayanami.

Once again she used "Shinji" instead of "Ikari"…Why the sudden change…

"I'm ok Rei, thank you for visiting me, but I'm waiting for Misato, so do you mind if?"

Rei felt rejected, but calmed down and said:

"As you wish Shinji, will I see you tomorrow at school?"

Shinji thought for a second then said "look Rei since Asuka won't be home today, would you like to have dinner with us?"

Rei looked at Shinji, smiled slightly then said "I would love too…"

She headed for the door and said "Thank you Shinji."

With that she left.

Shinji waited until he was sure she had left and said: "So it wasn't a dream…"

_**Afraid not, Berserker…**_

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

_**Berserker?**_

"Yeah…"

_**Are you denying that you are not? After what you did to Sachiel, Leliel, Bardiel, and Zeruel? You are a Berserker…**_

He paused trying to think which number angel was which…

"Then what's your name?"

_**I…. Am Arael…**_

The door opened again, this time, Misato came in not in her normal uniform but wearing a loose orange shirt and a green skirt that didn't cover much.

"Shinji, Rei told me you were awake, you wanna go?"

Shinji started to get out of the bed and said:

"Yeah lets go"

A/N: haha there you go, the angel is living inside shinji, but how will this affect his life?

Until next time, proofreader still needed!

Again sorry if its short but the first two were like setup chapters, next one will ve longer, promise!


	3. Misato's Lament

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

This chapter was proofread by: GeekViking86 thank you my man!

**Chapter 3: Misato's lament**

Shinji had changed as soon as Misato gave him some clothes; he left the room and joined her in the car, which was parked in the NERV underground parking lot. The ride out of NERV was spent in relative silence.

Until Misato changed shifts and her skirt moved higher up her leg.

Shinji noticed this and started to look at her beautiful, long legs…

_No stop it!_ _She's your guardian; you shouldn't think of her like that!_ He told himself

He stopped himself from looking, but to no avail as he found himself staring at her legs again. Shinji was starting to daydream how he would like to feel those legs, before Misato's voice cut in:

"Shinji, I'm up here."

Shinji whirled his head to the other side, blushing, as Misato started to laugh and adjust her skirt.

"Oh Shinji, your just too easy to tease" she said between laughs

"You knew I was looking?"

"Please Shinji! You were practically staring at them, but don't worry, its good to know I'm still attractive."

Shinji didn't want to continue this conversation, so he simply continued to look out the window, until he remembered.

"Misato--I told Rei she could come over for dinner, is that ok?"

"Yeah Rei told me in the hall. It'll be good to have some company for dinner, seeing as how Asuka is in-"

"A coma, I know…"

Misato noticed that Shinji had a sad look on his face and decide to encourage him:

"Shinji, you did all you could. Ritsuko says you saved her life!"

"Why is she in a coma, I thought she didn't get hurt?" Shinji sighed

"She didn't get hurt physically Shinji," Misato looked almost as if she was trying to remember something "Ritsuko says that she's been losing her will to live since the 14th, and the 15th just gave her a the final push…"

"I knew Asuka was depressed, I but I never thought…" Misato barely heard this, almost as if it was a whisper.

After that, the car was in relative silence for a while.

"Does anyone know when she'll wake up?" Shinji asked.

"I wish someone could answer that Shinji, but Ritsuko said this is something even the Magi cant determine…"

They arrived quickly after that. When they got to the door and opened it…

"Wark!" was the greetings they got as they opened the door (since the penguin was the only one home); Pen-Pen was holding a small bowl in his flippers, and lifted it to Shinji.

"Misato, did you feed Pen-Pen?"

A chuckle and a smile were the only response he got, as she went to the fridge to get a beer. Shinji sighed and went to the cabinets above the stove to get some tuna for the bird who was following his every step with the bowl high above its head.

Misato propped herself on the couch as she started to drink the beer and turned on the TV. Shinji put the tuna in the bowl as soon as he opened it, and pulled his hand out quickly as Pen-Pen started to devourer the contents of its newly full bowl.

"Misato, I'm going to my room. I'll be out later to make dinner ok?"

"Kay Shinji!"

He walked towards his room and, as soon as he got in he closed the screen and sat on the bed.

"Why did you put Asuka in a coma?"

_**Were you not listening to your guardian? I did no such thing, she was already broken when I reached her…**_

"Then why is she in a coma?"

_**I did nothing to her that would cause that, only she could be doing it**_

"Why would Asuka do that?"

_**That is a question only she can answer…**_

Shinji laid back on the bed, looking at the fan as it spun around…

"Hey, when you said I could use your powers what did you mean?"

_**Well, I can read minds, tell you someone's thoughts or memories for example. Cause pain to the ones you hate, like I did on "Asuka". Or I could stimulate someone's thoughts. Making them do things they themselves didn't think of doing.**_

The last thing it said was what really scared him…

"You mean… I could control someone?"

_**Not control, **stimulate**. There is quite a difference between the two, but I would need to demonstrate for you to fully understand the implications of this, but yes you could control someone's **actions_

"Any action?"

**_It depends on what kind of action though. It would also help if the person were relaxed mentally, for example: sleeping or even showering._**

Shinji didn't show it, but he was scared shitless at the moment; he just couldn't cope with the idea than an Angel is in his mind…

He took out his SDAT player, and started to hear the music as he hugged his knees…

* * *

Misato was getting up to get her third beer, but she stopped herself as she opened the door. 

_Maybe I should pace myself,_ _it is barely noon… _She thought.

She sighed as she closed the fridge, then went to her room until she opened the door.

Then she noticed it…

Her recording machine was on the desk with its light still blinking, bearing the message of someone so dear to her…

Someone she would never hear again…

She slammed the door shut, and went back to the couch _You promised you wouldn't listen to it again, just forget it…_

She watched the TV for a few more seconds, not really paying attention to the program, as she tried to distract herself from…What the commander said…

* * *

"_Do you know why you're here, major…?"_

_There he was, sitting behind his desk, with his hands covering most of his face._

"_Yes commander" was Misato's response._

"_Do you fully understand the implications of what you did?"_

_She sat in silence this time, not wanting to make the situation worse._

"_You endangered Unit 01, not only from mental contamination, but also from the fact that it could have activated its S2 engine…The results would have been much worse than Second impact, I guarantee you…"_

_Misato gulped at the answer all of it was true, if Unit 01 had gone berserk…_

"_But, I'm afraid you are in luck… Dr. Akagi says another minute and the Second Child would be dead…"_

_Misato looked up at the commanders face, it was almost as if he was debating which action to take._

"_You will be suspended for a week, then you will return to work normally…but heed my warning major, do not disobey me again…_

_Or I will deal with you the same way I dealt with Mr. Ryoji…"_

* * *

Misato now realized she was crying. He killed him… 

"Why…? WHY!" she screamed between hiccups.

She covered her face as the tears come down once again…

* * *

Shinji had been watching the whole thing, ever since she had slammed the screen. He went back to his bed, and turned the music on again. ****

**_Are you merely going to sit there when your guardian is in need?_**

"Just leave me alone…"

_**She was in need once before, and you just ignored her…**_

"Shut up"

**_Fine, drown yourself in your music for all I care…_**

He thought about it, she had looked pretty bad the last few days…

Shinji thought of all the times she had helped him….

She was the one person kind enough to give him a home…

He stood up, leaving his SDAT on the bed. He left his room and went to the couch.

There she was, practically falling apart as she continued to cry…

_Just do it, just do it…_ he told himself, clenching his fist as he did. He summoned up his courage and sat down beside her.

"Misato, what's wrong?"

Misato lifted her head a little to see those calm blue eyes staring back.

She lunged herself at him and held him, crying.

Shinji was surprised by the fact that his guardian was clinging on to him; he didn't know what to do…

_**Comfort her…**_

He put his arms around her as she continued to cry.

"Misato, please tell me what's wrong?" He whispered

As she continued crying, Shinji felt some of the tears began to fall on his neck and collarbone; eventually she sniffed and spoke.

"Shinji-- he-- he killed him…"

Shinji didn't really understand what she said. _Who? Someone died?_

Then it clicked…

_Kaji's dead!_ _No wonder Misato never erased the message, No wonder we don't see him anymore…_

This truly did sadden him. Kaji was the closest thing he had ever had to a…a…

…A real father.

He felt tears under his eyes… but he had to continue:

"By who?"

Misato was deciding what to tell him, but the words left her mouth before she could reconsider:

"Shinji, your father threatened to kill me... like he killed Kaji!"

She started to cry again, holding Shinji tighter than ever, while he sat there…

_My…father…._

He couldn't believe it. His father did this.

"Misato, is that why my father wanted to talk to you?"

He could barely make out the nod as she started to cry harder than ever, digging her nails into his back.

He suppressed the pain, as he whispered into her ear again

"Misato, I miss him too…"

Shinji didn't say anything else, he just held her as she kept crying; holding her and cradling her head. Eventually she started to calm down, the crying turned to sniffs, and she lifted her head from Shinji's wet shoulder to look at his face.

As she was staring into his blue eyes, she couldn't help it-- she just did it…

She kissed him…

Shinji couldn't believe this; the woman he had been comforting for the last hour, not to mention the most beautiful woman he knew, was kissing him. He closed his eyes, raising his hands to play with her purple hair, as she deepened the kiss and made a small moan.

She parted the kiss, and looked at him with a small smile. Then, her head slumped on his shoulder.

He held her for a moment until he noticed she was asleep. He gently laid her down on the couch. He went to sit on the other couch to clear his mind, and watched as the purple-haired beauty slept.

_What just happened…?_

_**You simply did your part.**_

Shinji was surprised at the sudden interruption of Arael.

"Wait, Arael—"

As he said this Misato made a small grunt.

**_No need to talk, I can read your thoughts. We do not want to awaken her, do we?_**

_Did you do this?_

**_No Berserker, I simply read her mind and saw that she needed comfort, and the rest happened by itself._**

Shinji looked at her, now sleeping calmly on the couch, he never realized just how much she needed comfort…

He went to his room to change his shirt; the left shoulder was completely wet. As he changed his shirts, he winced from the pain coming from his back; Misato's nails had dug into his skin.

_I'll check when I get back_

He looked at the clock, it said one fifteen, and he sighed as he went to get some money to buy groceries.

* * *

Same Day, 3: 00 PM 

Shinji opened the door of the apartment and went inside, bringing the two grocery bags with him. He closed the door and noticed that Misato was still sleeping on the couch; he smiled and put his bags on the table.

He went to kneel beside the couch, watching Misato as she slept until he noticed her skirt. It was crumpled and was barely covering her inner thigh; he could see part of her panties…

His hand moved to slightly touch the length of her legs…

_So smooth… Oh god, just one peak…_

His hand grabbed one of the edges of the skirt; he started raising it…

But he stooped cold…

_What am I doing?_ He told himself as he quickly stood up and jerked his hand away.

He went to the table to take a breath and calm himself down.

_After what just happened, you still think of her that way?_

_**Why is that wrong?**_

Shinji jumped at the sudden voice. Arael hadn't talked the whole time…

_Why are you always so quite?_

_**I prefer to observe.**_

Shinji sighed and went to open the grocery bags, emptying their contents on the table.

_**Will you answer my previous question? She is not of your blood, so why is it wrong?**_

_Because she is like family._

_**Yet she is not.**_

_She's twice my age!_

_**You have already reached sexual maturity.**_

_She's depressed!_

_**Is there no better comfort?**_

_You just don't get it!_

**_Apparently not…_**

Shinji ignored him as he started to put Misato's beer in the fridge, and started to take the rest of the groceries when he heard a small mumble. He turned around to see Misato starting to stir; she made a large yawn while stretching her limbs. She propped herself upright on the couch, as she turned to see Shinji.

"Shinji, I'm sorry"

Shinji went to the side of the couch and looked at her

"Misato, its ok. I understand that you miss Kaji and-"

"No Shinji, not about that--" She interrupted " I'm sorry about the kiss…"

She stood up from the couch and adjusted her skirt.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I was just so confused and--"

Shinji put his finger on her lips. "Misato I understand, I'm just glad I could help."

Misato took his hand. "Thank you Shinji, for understanding."

Shinji smiled. "Misato if you ever need help again, just ask…"

Misato smiled back, as she cleaned her eyes. "Well Shinji I have too finish some paperwork, ill see you later"

She let go of Shinji's hand and started walking to her room she stooped at the door.

"Oh and Shinji? Thanks for not lifting up my skirt."

Shinji stopped dead as he was going back to the kitchen, and Misato let out a small giggle as she entered her room.

_Why didn't you tell she was awake?_

_** You didn't ask**_

* * *

Same day, 5: 30 PM 

Shinji had been cooking a meal of rice and meat (he made a separate one for Rei made of vegetables). And he was almost done.

He turned off the stove and was setting up the table as Misato came out of her room for the first time in two hours, wearing pretty much the same clothes.

"How much paper work do you have?" he asked

"Shinji, we're still trying to fix up the whole thing with the 14th. The damage done was just beyond our budget."

Shinji finished setting up the table as Pen-Pen came waddling with the bowl above its head again.

"WARK"

_Why does he always do that?_

**_He knows you as "The Provider"._**

_How do you know that?_

**_I can read animal minds too._**

Misato went to get a beer and noticed the penguin's behavior, she pointed at one of the chairs.

"Pen-Pen, sit!" she commanded

The warm-water penguin had a slight look of anger, but he waddled to a chair and sat down. Shinji started to set the plates when the sudden sound of the doorbell interrupted him

"Shinji, Rei is here!"

AN: haha! Another chapter, sorry it took me a while but ive been distracted, tell me, is Shinji reacting correctly to the angel? Is the story ok? Any OCCness? Please review!


	4. Dinner Surprise

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

This chapter was proofread by: GeekViking86 thank you my man!

**Chapter 4: Dinner surprise.**

"Shinji, Rei is here!"

Shinji turned around to face the door, and removed his apron. Once he took off his gloves, he headed for the door.

He looked out the peephole to see it was indeed Rei, he opened the door to let her in.

As soon as he opened the door he noticed she was virtually unchanged since he saw her at the hospital; she was still wearing her school uniform, with the same expression on her face.

"Hello Shinji, may I come in?"

"Of course Ayanami"

Rei stepped inside and quickly bowed to Misato.

"Thank you for your hospitality Major".

Misato chuckled, before replying:

"Please Rei, it was our pleasure, it'll be good to have company for dinner".

Shinji came to Rei's side and pulled up a chair.

"Come on Ayanami have a seat".

Rei sat down as Shinji went to the stove to get the food.

But…

As Shinji was distracted on serving the food (Rice with meats, or in Rei's case, vegetables), someone else had his attention squarely on the red-eyed girl sitting on the table.

_**This should be interesting…**_

* * *

The dinner had, so far, gone in relative silence, except Pen-Pen kept shoving his bowl at Shinji repetitively trough out the whole thing.

Misato chugged her forth beer before finally starting a conversation:

"Rei, why are you wearing your uniform?"

Rei looked in Misato's direction before answering.

"It is the only article of clothing I posses"

Misato blinked in surprise.

"You mean you don't have any other clothes than your school uniform?"

"Uniforms Major, and that is correct"

Misato looked at Rei for a few seconds, dumbstruck look on her face.

"WHAT!" Screamed Misato as she slammed her beer down.

Shinji jumped at the sudden scream coming from Misato.

"Why Rei!"

"I do not require any other clothes." she responded calmly.

Misato rubbed her temple and took a few breaths.

"But Rei, who raised you like this?" asked Shinji

"Commander Ikari."

The room was eerily silent at the sound of these words. Shinji gulped, and Misato shuddered.

Shinji quickly tried to break the silence " Rei, have you ever even shopped for clothes?"

Rei turned to look at Shinji with a questionable look on her face.

"I have never needed more articles than the ones I posses already"

**_Strange one, isn't she?_**

Now it was Misato's turn to talk.

"_THATS IT!_ Rei tomorrow I'm taking you shopping!"

Rei turned to face Misato, wearing her normal expressionless look.

"Is that an order Major?"

"Want me to make it one?"

Rei sighed as she looked down at the table.

"As you wish"

A very long awkward silence followed Rei's response; thankfully Shinji wasn't the one to break it this time.

"Wark" Pen-Pen was shoving his bowl at Shinji's direction again.

"Not now Pen-Pen." as Shinji said this, Pen-Pen lowered his head and headed for his refrigerator.

Shinji focused his attention on his food, and continued eating. While he was eating he stole occasional glances of Rei.

_**You care for her, do you not?**_

_ Yeah, I do. She's been acting more…relaxed around me…_

Shinji continued eating, but found himself thinking about Rei.

_I wonder what she's thinking…_

_**No need to wonder.**_

Shinji blinked in surprise, he forgot that Arael would let him re-

'_**-- what is it that people do when they share feelings for each other?'**_

Shinji had to restrain himself from jumping at the sudden sound of Rei's voice in his head.

' _**holding hands? Yes… that is it…'**_

Shinji's mind was racing. _Who is she thinking about?_

The answer would come sooner than expected.

Rei put her chopsticks down, as her hand snaked under the table and held Shinji's hand.

Shinji finally knew the answer.

_She's thinking about me…_

He looked at Rei her eyes were closed but she had a smile on her face.

The moment ended as quickly as it started, as Rei took her hand away and continued eating.

Shinji was dumbstruck; the girl he had cared for had just held his hand.

_Arael, does she like me?_

He didn't know why he was asking this, he just needed to know…

A small silence passed, and Misato noticed he looked a little nervous…

"Shinji, are you feeling all right?"

Shinji blushed, realizing he had forgotten about Misato.

_Did she see Rei hold my hand? Is she going to tease me? Is she—?_

_**Answer quickly Berserker…**_

"I'm fine Misato, just bit my tongue is all"

Misato raised an eyebrow at the response but continued to devour the contents of her bowl.

Shinji gave a small sigh of relief in his mind.

_Well? Does she --?_

_**Like you? She cares a great deal for you, and wishes to be with you. That is the definition of like, is it not?**_

So it is true…Rei likes me… 

"I am finished." as Rei said this she put her chopsticks down

"Same here, Shinji."

Shinji turned to see both Rei's and Misato's empty bowls.

His was only half finished…

"Shinji, why didn't you finish your food? Its delicious!" exclaimed Misato.

"Yes, it was most enjoyable." added Rei.

Under pressure from both women, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Sorry, I just wasn't all that hungry. I'll start cleaning up".

He stood up and started to grab the bowls and took them to the sink. Pen-Pen was following his every step with the bowl over its head.

"Not yet Pen-Pen!" the Penguin had a look of aggravation at this point and simply walked away.

Misato stood up at the same time, and started stretching her back.

"Well Rei I have to go now, the amount of paperwork I have is… no longer humanly possible…"

With that she walked back to her room. Shinji had returned to the table and sat next to Rei.

"Rei why did you --" Before Shinji had time to finish the question, Rei put her finger on his lips.

"Shinji please do not ask me this, not now, not here." She said with her eyes closed.

She opened her red eyes, and smiled. The moment was still for a few seconds before Rei broke the silence.

"I must leave now, Shinji." as she spoke, she stood from the table and walked to the door.

"Goodbye Ayanami." he said as he opened the door for her.

"Shinji, may I ask you a favor?"

"Anything, Ayanami."

"Call me Rei…"

Shinji was surprised by her response, but he decided to abide it.

"Goodbye Rei."

She gave him one last smile, before she walked out the door and left. Shinji continued to look at her as she walked away but eventually she got in the elevator and disappeared.

Shinji closed the door and turned around—

Only to be hit in the head by Pen-Pens bowl.

"Ow!" he screamed as the bowl fell to the ground, and Pen-Pen came waddling next to the bowl.

"WARK!" He screamed as he pointed at it.

_**FILL IT, PROVIDER!**_

_Ugh…_

_

* * *

_

Shinji had finished cleaning the dishes and filled Pen-Pen's bowl with the best fish he could find. He didn't want to ignite the bird's wrath again.

Misato had come out to get her sixth beer, and stooped as Shinji was walking back to his room.

"Shinji…"

Shinji stopped before he opened the door to look at Misato.

"What is it Misato?"

She turned around, and asked while opening her beer.

"Did Rei seem different to you?"

Shinji blinked in surprise, he hadn't expected her to notice.

"How so Misato?"

"Well first off, she's stopped calling you Ikari. Now she's actually calling you Shinji."

She went to sit down at the table as she started counting on her fingers.

" She seemed almost more relaxed towards you…" she took a sip of her beer before continuing "and I could have sworn…--

"I saw her hold your hand."

Shinji gulped as she finished. _She noticed everything didn't she?_

_**She is quite skilled in analyzing situations**_. 

Misato finished her beer and turned to him.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think Rei likes you."

Shinji sighed and turned to his room before replying.

"Maybe she does…"

Misato was surprised how low he had said that, almost as if he was whispering to himself.

" 'Night Shinji, remember you have school tomorrow"

"Goodnight Misato…" Shinji said, and then went into his room.

Misato kept looking at his door for a few seconds, then smiled

_This'll be good for him, and for Re.i_ she thought.

She yawned; how she could be sleepy after that nap she didn't know, but she went back to her room and continued to work on the paperwork. She knew it was all to no avail of course…

* * *

Shinji had gone to his bed, this time with no music, and decided to think of what just happened._Why did she…?_

_**Again with this question? She "likes" you, handholding is a way to show affection, am I correct?**_

_Well, uh, yes but –_

_**Then there's your answer.**_

He decided not to debate this anymore, and tried to go to sleep as he cleared his mind.

Until his stomach gave a small grumble.

_**You're starving.**_

_I know…_

He tucked himself in the sheets, as he let the soft sound of the ceiling fan lull him…

_Why…?_ Was the last thought he had before going to sleep.

Deep down, Arael knew the truth, but he wasn't going to reveal it…

AN: FINALLY huh? Sorry I took 2 weeks! But finals and vacations have backed me up, and its shorter (I'm not to proud of myself, I know) but well I can only promise ill do it faster ok? Please review! Anything wrong at all! Let me know!


	5. School Demonstration

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

This chapter was proofread by: GeekViking86 thank you my man!

Chapter 5: School Demonstration 

Shinji woke up with a pain in his stomach and a throbbing pain in his head. He wanted to wake up, but couldn't find the energy to do so.

_Ugh…what the hell…?_

**_Perhaps I forgot to mention something…_**

Shinji opened his eyes, wondering what Arael was going to say.

**_Since I no longer have an S2 organ, to use my powers I must borrow energy from your own body. Unforchenetly, your body has not quite gotten used to this, thus the headache._**

_Fuck…_ he thought as he groaned. He tried to stand up again; his head throbbed with each movement as he slowly made his way off the bed and to the closet.

He opened the screen covering the closet to get his school cloths, and changed quickly.

He left his room and went directly to the kitchen to get some much needed nutriment. He got some bread and put it on the toaster, and set his place as the toast pooped up. He knew this wouldn't satisfy his needs, but school started in half an hour. He finished quickly and went to get his things.

"Misato! I'm leaving for school ok?"

The only response he got was a small snore, he sighed and left the apartment.

The way to school was pure torture. His headache hindered his ability to move enough, but as soon as a car passed by, his head hurt more. The worst part was that it didn't seem to be letting up.

_How long will this last?_

_**Its up to your body, but it could be all day**_

"Ugh…" he said as a truck passed by. Trying to concentrate on something else to distract himself from the pain, he eventually focused on what happened last night.

_Why did she..?_

_**Again with th—don't test my patience Berserker, just ask the Ayanami girl what that was about!**_

_But-_

_**I read her mind! But you continue to question whether or not she "likes" you?**_

Arael was right _Maybe I should just ask her at school_.

He arrived at school shortly after that and went to his classroom. Only half the class was left. The Class rep and Kensuke were the only ones he knew. Toji was still at the hospital because of the 13th. Hikari had been visiting him the last 3 weeks at the hospital.

He looked around the room, Rei was nowhere in sight.

Kensuke quickly came over and sat next to Shinji.

"Hey Shinji you're back! It was getting boring without both you and Toji"

"Hmm? Oh hey Kensuke"

Kensuke noticed that Shinji looked more distracted than usual, and seemed to be uncomfortable.

"Hey Shinji what gives? You seem distracted…"

"Ugh not so loud, I have a headache" Answered Shinji "And you could say something interesting happened over dinner yesterday…"

Shinji then told him what happened.

"_WHAT_!" The whole classroom turn to see Kensuke, who had slammed his hands on the desks, while Shinji grabbed his head.

"Jeez not so loud…"

Kensuke turned his attention back to Shinji.

"Oh sorry, but Ayanami held your hand?"

"Yeah… I was as surprised as you are"

Kensuke sat back down "So what are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna ask her what that was all about today" he replied "Its been bugging the hell out of me since--"

"Shinji?"

Shinji turned around to see Hikari standing beside his desk, her head down.

"Oh hey Hikari, is everything all right?" said an almost frightened Kensuke.

"Everything's fine. Shinji I'm glad you're back from the hospital." She said in a soft tone

"Thanks, Hikari, I'm glad to be back too."

She smiled at his response "Look Shinji, I was going to go visit Toji and Asuka today after school. I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me…"

Shinji gulped at what she said, he hadn't visited Toji on the account that it was his fault he was still there. And he had forgotten about Asuka being there…

"Shinji…He doesn't blame you for what happened, he just said he wanted to talk to you"

Hikari was trying to cheer him up to come; she didn't want to go alone again.

_Is that true? Does he really forgive me_? 

_**She is telling the truth, whether or not he forgives you is not in her memories.**_

Shinji sighed, he had to go visit Asuka eventually.

**_You must face him._**

"Yeah Hikari I'll go" he finally answered, then he turned his attention to Kensuke "How about you? Want to come?"

"It has been a while since I visited the guy, so yeah" he said as put his hands behind his head.

"Ok so I'll see both of you after school?" after they both nodded, she left with a small bow.

"Hey Shinji that reminds me" While pointing a finger at him "You've got to tell me all about the last angel battle"

Shinji groaned at this, he was waiting for Kensuke to ask the inevitable bombardment of questions. But the questions didn't come. He looked at him again, Kensuke was still pointing at him, but he was looking at something else. He turned to see what he was looking at.

Rei had just entered the classroom…

He turned to see Kensuke, he merely signaled with his head he should go and left. Shinji sighed again, and stood from his desk.

He walked towards where Rei was sitting. She was as usual looking out the window. He was gathering up the courage to say something before the bell rang, and the teacher entered the classroom.

"Ikari, please be seated" He said as the whole classroom started going to their desks.

Shinji went to his desk, disappointed he didn't get to talk to her. He soon heard Hikari give her familiar instructions.

"Rise, bow, be seated."

Shinji sat back down on his desk, looking in Rei's direction before the teacher began.

* * *

Shinji fell soundly asleep five minutes after the class began. His headache had gotten the best of him. The bell rang a few seconds ago, he really didn't have the energy to get up anyways…

He was awakened by something poking him in the side.

"Ummm" he groaned. "Whahzit?"

"Shinji" said a familiar voice "want me to go get ya some lunch?"

He turned to see a pair of glasses staring at him.

"Thanks, I need it" With that Kensuke chuckled and left.

He laid his head down on his arms again; the headache hadn't gotten much better.

_Did I miss anything?_

**_Not really, some information about the effects the second impact had on the industries around the world._**

Shinji sighed, he looked around the classroom it seemed like nobody was here…

Then he spotted Rei sitting at her desk.

**_Go._**

Shinji stood up from his desk, determined to finally ask her about last night. He staggered over to her desk. He finally sat at a desk next to hers, as she turned around to see him.

"Hello Shinji"

"Hi Aya- I mean Rei." He corrected himself , remembering what she asked last night

He summoned up his courage, "Rei, why did you hold my hand yesterday?"

She looked at Shinji in the eyes "Shinji, I believe I like you"

She paused before continuing, "Ever since you opened my cockpit from the fifth, I have developed--" she seemed to be looking for the right words to say "feelings for you, beyond that of a normal friendship."

"I cared for you a great deal before the fifteenth, but now I see that…I wish to be with you."

"But Rei…" he began "Why until after the fifteenth?"

"You showed great bravery not only by protecting Soryu, but by defying a direct order from the Commander. You also endangered you're own safety for that of others"

Rei moved her hand and placed it on Shinji's

"I wish to be with you Shinji…. Do you?"

Shinji looked down at his hand, Rei was holding it very carefully, trying to find an answer.

"You do not have to answer now Shinji, tell me tomorrow" After she this Rei retrieved her hand and gave him a smile.

"Hey Shinji, I hope you don't mind that I --" shouted Kensuke as he entered the classroom, until he noticed Rei and Shinji talking. "Oh…Am I interrupting something?"

"No Aida," she said as she was standing up "we were just finished, I will see you soon"

Rei made a small bow towards Shinji and left the classroom.

Kensuke then came carrying the bag and put it on the desk, as he saw her walk away.

"So how'd it go?" he said as he sat down and started opening the bag.

He looked at Kensuke, and decided that he didn't want to be pestered at the moment.

"I'll tell ya later" was his only comment "Did you bring the food? I'm starving…"

"Right here" he said as he took some snacks from the bag. He was passing Shinji a box, but as Shinji was going to grab it, he yanked it away.

"But you HAVE to tell me about the Angel"

Shinji groaned as he slammed his head on the desk.

_This REALLY isn't helping my headache…_

* * *

_**After ten minutes of questions, you would think he would be satisfied…**_

Shinji had been answering Kensuke's endless barrage of questions. But then Kensuke got to the question he really didn't want to answer.

"You said it made you relive memories?"

"Yeah…" He was barely paying attention now, devouring the food in the small box Kensuke gave him.

"What kind?"

Shinji was about to bite some noodles, he stopped cold as Kensuke asked the question.

Kensuke noticed that Shinji stopped eating, he could have sworn he heard him whimper.

"Oh…sorry I didn't mean to --"

"No, no its ok, I just don't want to talk about it. Not yet anyways…"

Kensuke finally decide to stop question Shinji for the moment and continued eating instead.

The food was terrible, but Shinji was too hungry to care. The headache was still the same, but eating seemed to be making him feel slightly better.

"Hey Shinji, I wanted to as--" Kensuke stooped talking and started looking at the doorway. Shinji turned to see where his attention was.

Kasuki Kojima had just entered the classroom.

Kasuki was the undisputed most beautiful girl in the whole class, the fact that she was in the class was strange. She was not only the oldest person in the classroom, but had been held back a year because she moved here. She had been transferred along with some other students to this class, the fact that the class was still not full gave testament about how many had left Tokyo-3.

She was fifteen, but looked sixteen in terms of her body. Her hair was long, reaching her lower back, and black with an almost blue glow. Her face was soft and she had small well-defined lips. She had a very well proportioned body in every aspect. She could easily rival Misato in her beauty.

She slowly walked into the classroom and past they're desk. As she passed them, she gave them a small smile. Shinji gave a small wave, but Kensuke was sitting there with his mouth open. Kasuki giggled at the sight of that and gave Kensuke a wink.

Shinji noticed this, and turned to look at Kensuke, but he was still watching her walk away. He was looking at her legs as she began to sit down with her friends. He was looking at her butt as she sat down and started to hear a dull sound.

"Kensuke? Kensuke? KENSUKE!"

Kensuke finally snapped from his daydream and looked around, only to see Kasuki looking at him and slightly giggling. He blushes and turns back to Shinji.

"Man, not only is she friendly but she's got a great body," began Kensuke.

"Kensuke" Interrupted Shinji.

"Great legs,"

"Kensuke"

"Great waist,"

"Kensuke"

"Great breasts,"

"Kensuke!"

"And an unbelievable ass."

Shinji threw his fork at Kensuke, hitting him near his mouth.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?"

"Did you see what she did?"

"Yeah she waved? So? She's friendly," he said with a shrug.

"Not that, when she looked at you."

Kensuke raised an eyebrow "What do you mean Shinji?"

Shinji got closer to Kensuke and whispered, "I saw her give you a wink"

Kensuke blinked he tried to say something, but he was fumbling the words.

"a—a wi—wink?"

Kensuke backed away a little from Shinji's face. Shinji sat normally again.

_**She is attractive, yes?**_

_ Yeah…Arael you don't think that she likes --?_

_**The pestering one? Yes she does, she finds his freckles cute, and thinks his obsession with the Evas is interesting, for she too shares that interest.**_

_Would you stop giving everyone nicknames? And how do you know that?_

**_Well I pass the time by reading the minds of those around you. Human knowledge is irrelevant, but the human mind is quite interesting._**

Shinji sat in the chair for a second, debating how to tell Kensuke what he just discovered

"You know" he began "if I didn't know better, I'd say she likes you."

Kensuke snapped from his thinking and looked at Shinji.

"You sure that angel didn't damage your thinking Shinji?"

**_Why that little –_**

"Look, I'm just sayin' maybe she likes you" Retorted Shinji.

"Come on Shinji! What could she see in me?"

"Why don't you talk to her? You've been wanting to since she moved into the class"

Kensuke sighed and looked back at Kasuki, he remained looking at her for a while.

_**Now to demonstrate what I can do…**_

Shinji jumped, he had forgotten that Arael was going to demonstrate his powers…

_**Turn your attention to the Kasuki girl.**_

Shinji turned around to see Kasuki talking to two other girls, she was apparently having a conversation with them.

She looked like she was having a normal conversation, then she blinked and turned to face they're direction. She was clearly looking at Kensuke, she smiled at him and licked her lips seductively.

Shinji turned to see Kensuke. His glasses were slightly askew and his mouth was hanging open. Kensuke pointed a figure at himself as Shinji turned back to Kasuki.

She lifted her leg to put her foot on the edge of a chair nearby. This reveled a good portion of her thighs, until she pushed the chair from under the desk slightly into the open.

Shinji turned to Kensuke again, who was looking at Shinji with a look of help. Shinji merely signaled him to go. Kensuke slowly stood up from his chair and slowly walked to the other side of classroom and sat on the chair Kasuki pushed aside.

When a blushing Kensuke started talking with her, Shinji turned back to his food while thinking:

_How the hell did you do that? You said you couldn't control actions?_

**_I can't, you see the girl wanted to talk to him, and she "liked" him, I merely sent the suggestion that she invite him over, her personality did the rest. The right circumstances made the right action._**

Shinji sneaked a peek of them talking, and couldn't help but smile as he continued eating.

* * *

The rest of the day was quite normal. Shinji manage to stay awake for the other half of the class but then wished he had fallen asleep. Kensuke had gotten along well enough with Kasuki, finding out they had much in common. Thankfully the day ended soon and Kensuke, Hikari, Rei and himself left the school walking together to the school gate.

"So Shinji, Did you tell Misato you were coming with us to the hospital?" Said Hikari, trying to start a conversation.

Shinji slapped himself in the forehead " Ugh! I forgot to call her"

"Do not worry Shinji" Began Rei "Misato is going to pick me up to get me clothes"

Shinji then remembered the small argument that happened over dinner

"Right… I forgot Rei"

They waited a the gate for a few minutes, to pass the time Shinji decided to ask:

"Hey Kensuke, How'd it go with Kasuki?"

"Oh, it went great, I would have stayed longer with her but she had to go back home"

Kensuke then followed by putting his arm around Shinji.

"You were right Shinji, I think she likes--"

Kensuke was opening his moth to say more, But Misato's car came speeding down they're way. It turned and screeched to a halt right in front of them. The window opened to reveal Misato wearing a red shirt.

"Hop in Shinji, remember my order Rei!" She said wagging a finger at her.

Rei made her way to the car and got in before Shinji began:

"Misato, We're going to visit Toji and Asuka at the hospital."

Isato had a look of surprise, then she smiled at Shinji.

"Shinji that's great! You're finally going to talk to him?"

Shinji gave a small nod, and then Misato sternly said to him:

"Just keep your cell close just in case"

With that, Misato waved goodbye and Rei gave him a small smile. The window rolled up and the car speeded away.

Hikari, while poking him in the shoulder said:

"You guys ready?"

Kensuke nodded and started following Hikari, Shinji stood at the spot for a few seconds before following, Thinking of what was to come…

A.N: HAHA! Faster and longer huh? Sorry if this is little more than filler but it's setting up for chapter 6, Review and be strict yeah?


	6. Forgiveness

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

AN: IMPORTANT! In the series Toji loses his left leg. Here he does not. He is still unable to use them but I thought I should warn you in advance.

**Chapter 6: Forgiveness, part 1**

They all left the school grounds shortly after that. All of them walked in relative silence to Nerv. Shinji was uncomfortable the entire trip. Not only because he was contemplating what he was going to say, but he was still so incredibly hungry.

As his stomach gave another gurgle, both Hikari and Kensuke turn to look at him.

"Shinji, are you still hungry?" asked Hikari as she raised an eyebrow.

"Impossible!" immediately responded Kensuke "you practically ate the entire bag…"

Shinji tried to come up with a lie, but his stomach interrupted.

"Shinji did you even have breakfast?"

Shinji turned to see Hikari, thankful she had come with an excuse for him.

"I didn't have time" He turned his attention back to the sidewalk. "And I'm still recovering from the attack"

"Well Shinji, there's a cafeteria near the Hospital in Nerv…" she began "You could eat there after we're done."

"Yeah…I guess"

They arrived at Nerv shortly after. Shinji swiped his card so they wouldn't have to go trough security. They went directly to the hospital and when they got to Toji's room they stooped in front of the door.

"Ill go first" said Hikari "You two wait here"

With that she entered the room.

Shinji tried to get a peak of Toji, but he couldn't see anything before the door closed. Kensuke sat down in a chair nearby and Shinji quickly joined him.

After only a few seconds Hikari comes out of the room with a look of worry.

"What's wrong?" asked Kensuke as he stood up.

"He said he wants to talk to Shinji first…" They both turned to face him.

Shinji swallowed. He wasn't quite ready to talk to him yet…

_**You must.**_

He stood up slowly from the chair and made his way to the door. He stooped as his hand touched the knob. Both Hikari and Kensuke knew this was tough for him. He closed his eyes and opened the door.

He entered the room and closed the door, facing the door. He finally turned around.

The room was the same as any other one in the hospital. Between the two beds sat Toji in a wheelchair. He looked better since the last time he had seen him. He looked the same as before the accident.

Toji gave him a small smile.

"I was wondering when you were going to finally visit".

Shinji looked down to the floor.

"Toji… I want to say I'm--"

"If you say you're sorry, I'll punch you right here" Toji scooted closer as he said this, pointing a finger at him.

Toji sighed before continuing

"I wanted to talk to you, because Hikari was telling me that you blame yourself for what happened"

Toji rolled to his side.

"I want to tell you…that I don't blame you"

Shinji looked at him.

"Toji it's not so easy… I could have done something; I could have stooped the whole

Thing from happening."

Shinji went to sit on a bed before saying:

"I was right there... Do you how it feels to rip your friend apart, not being able to do anything about it?"

"More than you know Shinji"

Shinji lifted his head and looked at Toji.

"Shinji I was sitting in the plug watching as the angel beat Ayanami and Asuka, and then it almost killed you"

_I never took his side into consideration… _

"When you said you weren't going to fight it… I wanted to tell you to kill it, even if it killed me…"

Shinji noticed that Toji was having a hard time talking at this point.

"Do you think I wanted to see all my friends die?"

_I didn't even know he was conscious when it… _

"Shinji, I don't blame you for what happened, there was nothing anyone could've done to prevent it…"

"Toji… but I almost killed you…"

"Damn it Shinji, Misato told me it was a program in the Eva, and if you use that logic I tried to kill you"

Shinji looked down to the floor again. No matter what Toji said he still felt guilty.

Why do you deny his logic? You have seeked his forgiveness, and now, you reject it?

_I just can't! _

"Toji… I just can't forgive myself for what I did so easily…I'm sorry--"

Shinji felt the impact of Toji's fist on his left cheek, and almost fell off the bed.

"What did I tell you?" he almost screamed at him as he scooted closer.

Shinji turned to look at him, wincing at the pain in his cheek.

"Both Misato and Hikari have told me how you've blamed yourself!"

Toji was screaming at this point.

"And now, you don't want to forgive yourself, even though I do!" He screamed

_I didn't know he was so serious about this…_

He forgives you completely, and holds no resentment toward you. Why do you not understand that?

Toji then calmed down and took some deep breaths.

"Now" he said pointing at him "I am going to say this one last time…"

Toji took one last breath, then said:

"Shinji…I forgive you…"

Shinji closed his eyes, took a deep breath…

And decided.

"Thank you Toji…It means a lot to me…" he said felling a tear at the edge of his eye.

Toji smiled at him.

"Awwww, what's wrong? Gonna cry?"

Shinji wiped the tear from his eye as he laughed with him.

"Hey Toji…." He began.

Toji looked up to him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…."

"Don't mention it…" was Toji's response as he punched him in the shoulder. "But there is one condition…"

Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"Shinji…If you ever, ever again find yourself in a situation like the thirteenth…"

Shinji's face turned to that of concern, waiting for Toji to finish.

"I want you" he continued, "To promise me, that you'll do the right thing"

Toji was almost crying now, Shinji couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Even if it means killing a friend" his voice was starting to crack up "Promise me!"

Shinji didn't know where this had come from, but he had to be completely sure.

_Is he serious?_

_**Silence.**_

Shinji mulled the implications of what Toji was asking him…

_Would I ever kill a friend for the benefit of others?_

Shinji answered that question the day of the thirteenth, but now that he knew the full implications of what could happen, he wasn't so sure…

He knew what Toji was saying was right, he couldn't risk the life of others for that of one, but could he ever actually do it?

"Toji…--" he started before being interrupted by Toji

"Promise me!"

Shinji swallowed before answering.

"Yes Toji…I promise"

Toji wiped the tears of his eyes, before saying:

"Thanks Shinji…"

He scooted to the door and signaled him to leave.

"Could you tell the class rep to come in when you go?"

Shinji headed for the door, and stopped in front of Toji.

"Yeah I'll tell her…and Toji?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…"

"Eh, what are friends for?" was his response as he chuckled.

Shinji gave him a small wave goodbye, and left the room.

Kensuke and Hikari had been sitting nervously outside the whole time, and it only got worse when they heard Toji screaming.

Kensuke decided to break the silence.

"Are you sure Toji was gonna forgive him?"

"Yes I'm sure"

A few seconds after that, he stood up and started pacing around the hall.

To both they're relief's, Shinji came out of the room shortly after.

Kensuke turned around immediately and was about to ask him how it went but noticed a bruise on his left cheek.

"Shinji what happened?" asked the class representative as she stood up.

He shrugged his shoulder. "We're good, but Toji wants to talk to you now."

Hikari blinked, but made her way into the room.

Shinji sat down as Kensuke finally snapped out of it and sat next to him.

"So what happened?"

"Well…"

"--And well, he forgave me…"

"Huh…" was the only response he got as Kensuke sat back up.

This relative silence only lasted a few seconds as Kensuke turned to see the door.

"Do you think we should spy on them?"

He sighed.

_Always the same…_

"Oh come on…" he answered.

"You know the class rep has a thing for him right?"

Shinji raised an eyebrow and turned to look at him.

"What?"

"Why else would she visit him so much?" answered Kensuke as he stood up and headed for the door.

_Is he kidding?_

_**No, they indeed both share mutual feelings for each other.**_

With this new piece of information, Shinji stood up and joined Kensuke, who was already opening the door slightly.

Shinji peeked trough the small crack.

"—and she hopes you get better."

Toji chuckled as he said, "Thanks for checking on my sis, rep."

She smiled before saying "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"No, I wanted to ask you something else…"

Shinji could barely see anything, the crack in the door was maybe half an inch wide, but he could hear the conversation.

"Ever since you started visiting me here, I realized something."

Hikari, sitting in the bed opposite of him, suddenly raised her head.

"You helped me with my sister, with me, heck you even brought me lunch"

Hikari was blushing now, locking at Toji in the eye.

"I can't believe I didn't see it before."

Toji moved his hand over Hikari's and asked:

"Hikari?"

Hikari raised her head to look at him, tears in her eyes; he hadn't called her by her name before.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes…" Shinji barely made out, as tears started falling from Hikari's eyes.

Both Kensuke and Shinji closed the door, exchanging looks and both smiled.

Of course Kensuke's smile was a more mischievous kind.

Shinji sat back down, as Kensuke pressed his ear on the door.

After a few minutes Shinji started shifting in his seat.

Then he remembered.

"Hey" he asked to Kensuke, who was still eavesdropping.

"Yeah?" he asked stepping away from the door slightly.

"Do you know where Asuka's room is?" he said.

"The devil's?" he asked while looking questiongly at him.

Shinji simply nodded.

Kensuke bit his lip for a second before pointing to a room two doors down.

_I guess its time I visit her…_

Shinji stood up, and started walking toward the room.

AN: yes im still alive and so is this fic.

the title is twofold here, forgive shinji and… ME! Feel free to hate me in the reviews

Please….

Why was I gone? Two words: summer reading.

Not very hard sure, but you try reading ALL BUT MY LIFE and not fall uncoucius.

I also went to the comic con, and asked Samuel L Jackson a question.

(PS: is questiongly even a word?)

Awesome huh? Expect a chapter this week.


	7. Things to come

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

Proofread by someone you don't even know

AN: hello fans, I have returened, to replace this chapter (which I thought was very weak) with a more suspenceful ending. For more notes, go down.

**Chapter 7: Things to come**

Shinji arrived at Asuka's room and entered.

Then he saw her on the bed…

Her hair was a mess, and lacked the red glow it had before. She was wearing a hospital gown, and it was a crumpled mess. Her legs were covered by the sheet, which was barely hanging on to the bed. Her face had some scratches but her eyes…they were slightly open…

They had no expression…no life…

_What the hell did you do to her!_ He screamed mentally

_**I was trying to incapacitate her mentally.**_

Shinji was startled by how calmly he had answered, even though he had screamed at him.

_**Yes I raped her mind; yes I made her relive the memories she hated,**_

_**But I did not cause this, because if had, you would be in the same situation.**_

Shinji sat down in one of the chairs next to the bed.

_Why did you do it?_

_**What?**_

_Why? What would you gain by it? What are you angels trying to do?_

There a small pause…

_**Are you asking the reason why we are trying to destroy you?**_

Shinji blinked at the response, he hadn't expected an answer.

_Yes…_

There was a much longer pause this time, then he could have sworn he heard Arael sigh before he continued:

_**I understand your need to know this… but by telling you I would be revealing something you may not want to know.**_

_But I need to know why I'm fighting…_

_**Very well… But not here, when you return to your home…**_

Shinji wanted to protest, but he knew he had other matters at hand. He simply nodded at thin air and turned his attention to Asuka.

After looking at her for a few seconds he finally spoke:

"Asuka…can you hear me?" He asked, almost, expecting an answer.

**_She cannot_**.

He lowered his head; he had hoped she would answer.

_But I thought coma patients could still hear?_

_**I believe she is merely rejecting everything, even her senses at this point.**_

Shinji sighed and lowered his head again. He felt useless…

_**Berserker, there is nothing you can do. Besides, do you not have more pressing matters at hand?**_

Shinji raised an eyebrow at the comment, what could possibly be-

_**The Blue one?**_

Shinji went form his slumped position on the chair to sitting straight up and attentive.

_Rei…you're right, I have to-_

He would have continued, but he saw the once red-goddess on the bed…

_-Not here…_

Arael noticed his sudden change of mind, it is as he suspected.

_**Berserker, you held feelings for her as well?**_

Shinji slumped on his chair again, and lowered his head as he said in the quietest tone possible.

"…yes."

_**So you share feelings for both the red one and the blue one?**_

He couldn't bring himself to answer this time, he just nodded.

Even Arael knew this was important, he waited while Shinji sobbed.

_**The blue one has showed mutual feelings, but the red one?**_

_I can't, I feel like I'm betraying Asuka…_

**_Even though Ayanami obviously shows interest?_**

_It's not that easy and stop switching between color and names._

**_You think you will distract me with that? Why is your decision so difficult? The red one had no feelings for you, and frankly, treated you badly._**

This had made Shinji shoot his head up to look at Asuka. Although subtle, one piece of information had truly stung.

_Wha-what?_

_**Berserker, I saw her memories. She did not share your affection**._

This hurt, hard. He had never appreciated the way she treated him, but he always thought it was simply a way of protection. He had always hoped…

He looked at her one more time, tears filling his eyes, and had one thougth:

_You…_

_You bitch…_

He immediately stood up, his feelings between utter rage and complete sorrow. He wanted to say something, but remembered it didn't matter. He slammed the door open as he ran out, he wanted to be alone.

Kensuke saw him leaving and was shouting at him, he didn't care at this point. He couldn't believe it, she was pretending, that was really her. All the insults, orders, commands… it was on purpose. HE tried to save her. Everything was a blur as he ran, losing track of time. He wanted to be alone and think what to say to Ayanami. Of course he never was alone…

In his mind, the Angel simply watched, for he had to monitor this closely. The reason may have been unknown to Shinji, but it was rather simple:

Arael had lied.

* * *

The President of NASA sat behind his desk as the person in front of him just stared. Tyler Lance hated NERV, and he had too many problems to bother with this shit. He lit up a cigarette before asking: 

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Mr. Lance, you're reputation precedes you. It's as-"

"Yeah, Yeah I'm a dick, asshole or jackass; let me make it a bit clearer: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!"

The other person simply kept still and said:

"I believe we sent you the file."

Tyler raised his eyebrow and turned to look at his computer screen then laughed. He rubbed his temple as he said:

"Are you shitting me? I thought that was a fucking joke," he turned to look at the NERV agent "You want to use the new space shuttle for that?!"

"Was the file not clear Mr. Lance?" the man replied coolly.

"You want to use the U.S.'s most powerful piece of technology, for that!? Are you insane?!"

The man took out a few files and said: "We are willing to pay."

Lance waves off the papers, as he replies: "You could blow me and wouldn't change my mind. You realize that you're asking us to bring something of THAT SIZE?!"

The man remained quiet as Lance continued his rant.

"You realize what would happen if something went wrong? And the possibility of something going wrong? You've got some balls to ask me this-"

"Because NASA is in enough trouble?" interrupted the man.

Lance leaned up to a few inches from the man's face, "and I hate NERV…"

The man's eyes kept track as Lance paced the room.

"If you hadn't convinced the president to use the grant on you're fucking Evangelions, which exploded mind you, I wouldn't have gone trough this shit!"

"I understand why you-" but was interrupted by Lance.

"SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!" screamed Lance "You realize what it cost NASA to finish the shuttle?! Billions and we finished it!"

Lance finally calmed down a bit and sat back down; he hated NERV for more than just that: his brother had died at the explosion of Unit 04.

"While everybody was focused on YOU PEOPLE, they didn't realize we had built the shuttle that could possibly take us to Mars, and who knows what else."

He smoked for a few seconds before continuing: "I had to lay off my friends, and now we might have to sell the fucking shuttle to China, to cover the costs of Unit 04…"

"You're machine is functional though, you launched a few months ago" said the man, losing patience.

"That," began Lance as he pointed his cigarette at the man, "was a test launch, we only circled the Earth."

Knowing what the man was going for Lance added, "Even if we weren't in debt, the risk is too high in case you don't know"

Lance stood up and extended his arm towards the door. "Go."

The man simply said in monotone "We are willing to pay off all your debts"

Lance was stupefied.

"What?"

"All of them" repeated the man.

Lance sat back down; their debt was close to a billion.

"And success is not necessary" said the man as he put the files on the desk.

Lance couldn't believe it, "How can NERV pay for this?"

"We are not NERV, but closely associated to them."

Lance stared at the files, they checked out.

The man stood up, "Do we have a deal?"

Lance grabbed his cigarette and simple said: "Yeah"

Then he threw the cigarette at the man, before saying:

"Now get the Fuck out of my office."

* * *

AN: FIRST OF ALL I'm sorry I was gone so long, but there many things that contributed to that. School mostly, but I finished my first semester and im used to High school. 

And yes, I replaced the second part of Chapter7, it was rushed and not what I wanted. Unforchenetly I spoiled a twist. (Asuka will wake up, but not now). To introduce two new ones! Good trade of no?

And to all my fans, im sorry I left, I cant guarrentee ill uptadate as soon as I want, but I will within this month.

Also I need a proofreader, sience my grammar stinks, and for simple storyline help.

If you review I appreciate it, and want to apologize again but I hope you can accept it.

Thanks

-Squirel.


	8. Survive

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

Proofread by someone you don't even know

**NOTES: READ CHAPTER 7 BEFORE THIS, IT HAS BEEN REPLACED AND CHANGED!**

**CHAPTER 8: Survival**

Shinji had ended crying on the side of a building, he slowly sat on the pavement and leaned on the wall. He didn't really feel anything at this point; he could only keep thinking what he had found out.

She really is that way…

The thoughts running through his head were too many, every memory of her treatment, every insult… He needed to talk to someone…

_**Berserker, I did not interrupt because you apparently had much importance over this. **_

Shinji snapped from his depression for a second, he forgot he wasn't alone anymore.

_**But for the better of both our beings, get shelter and eat before you faint.**_

_Wha-_

_**Human, control your feelings and focus on your body for a moment.**_

Shinji didn't really understand but he took a few breaths and composed himself. As his memories started to fade, his senses finally came. He didn't know where he was, not to mention it was night. His hunger was near a point of making him faint. He tried to standing up, but as soon as he tried his legs failed him. He fell to the pavement, almost slamming to the ground.

_Oh shit, shit…I'm screwed. Where the hell am I? What if of those cultists are out here? Everyone knows my face. What am-_

_**HUMAN, COMPOSE YOURSELF.**_

His thoughts stooped, the scream from the angel scared the hell out of him.

_**NOW, calm your feelings and think clearly. Do you recognize this place?**_

Shinji did as he was told, looked around. The place had a vague familiarity, but he didn't know where he was. He was in old part of town, destroyed long ago by the first angel he fought. Nobody like NERV here. Nobody LIKED NERV either.

_No…_

_**Then think human, who can we contact?**_

He tried thinking of someone; he must have been running for a good hour, so he couldn't be near anybody. He focused harder.

_Ok,ok,ok,ok think dammit…_

As he was thinking he searched his pockets, anything that might help him. Nothing, just his wallet and identification. He tried looking around for a phone booth, anything that could help him. He wished he hadn't.

Across the street, under the streetlight, stood a lone figure. He looked horrible, with torn cloths, but that didn't scare him. What he was holing in his hands did.

He had rope and a knife.

_Oh shit…_

_**What is this human? A "cultist"?**_

He didn't care, he had heard stories how they took NERV personnel and held them for ransom. Most rescue missions were successes, but some died. Not to mention he wasn't a simple technician… he was a pilot.

The man started crossing the street slowly, entering its darkness. Shinji's mind was racing, what could he do? Even if he wasn't in this condition, he didn't have any actual training. He tried to think harder as he heard more footsteps from different directions.

An idea hit him.

_Arael, stop them please, just stop them._

_**Are you insane Berserker?! Even if I could, you are in no condition for me to use my powers. It could kill you.**_

He tried thinking anything. The Cultist were inching closer, he couldn't see them, but the footsteps were getting louder. Think! There was no help. He was alone. Well, not really. A thought crossed his mind, why was he never alone?

_**Berserker…**_

Arael, but even before that…why?

They were within eight feet of him now. Why was he never ALONE?

_**BERSERKER!**_

Then it hit him.

"S2!!!!!" he screamed "S2!! HELP"

The man was upon him now, along to two others by Shinji's side. The man started to extend his hand towards Shinji. Then he stopped.

Steps could be heard, running. The man with the rope turned to where the sound was coming from. Soon a gunshot was heard, hitting the man in between the eyes. His two associates turned around, two more gunshots were heard. One was hit square in the chest, the other in the shoulder as he disappeared. Both men at Shinji's side fell.

Soon a man in a black suit appeared a pistol in his hand. "Get up" he said, looking if there were more, "GET UP!"

Shinji just replied: "I can't"

As more sounds were heard, the agent took Shinji from the shoulder, as he put Shinji's arm over his back. They start running to the end of the street. "My cars a block down come on."

As they're reaching the end of the street, chanting could be heard, and there was light coming from there. As if they're carrying torches. "Shit" mutters the agent, as he moves into a side alley. The get out on the other side, as they see the car. To both their relief, it's intact and there are no cultist there.

The agent helps Shinji get in the car, and he gets on the drivers seat. As he begins driving out, they encounter a mob of cultist. They did have torches, along with with more modern blowtorches and molotovs.

_What the fuck is this, the middle ages?_ The agent grabs Shinji's head and lowers him and himself as he steps on the gas. As they approach, the mob throws molotovs and rocks at the car, when they get close, they use the blowtorches. The windshield is on fire, along with the doors heating up. As they collide with three cultist, the agent shifts gears to get the hell out of there. The cultists continue their barrage of molotovs, but soon they're out of sight.

The flames on the windows and windshield slowly die out, as both raise they're heads. The agent sighs in relief, simply saying: "God bless fire proof cars." He begins driving out of the district.

"Why didn't you stop them before?" asked a still panicking Shinji.

"Well excuse me; you're the one that ran like a maniac. I lost you three hours ago, I've been looking since. If you hadn't screamed…"

Shinji gulped at the thought.

The agent reaches for a towel he had in the back and hands it to Shinji "Clean Yourself up"

Shinji didn't notice until now, his shirt had blood on it, along with part of his arm and neck. He takes the towel and starts wiping of what he can.

"Now listen," began the agent, "S2 agents, under no circumstances can reveal themselves" he looked at Shinji and continued, "And if your father found out about this

I'd probably be killed"

" I don't care why you decided to take a stroll out her, but if ANYONE finds out, we are both in trouble," he turned his attention back to the wheel, "I have no idea what happened to the other agent, but I almost failed to protect you."

"But, it wasn't your fault" he began quietly, "I'm the one that shouldn't have gone there…"

"Kid, do you think your father would care?"

Shinji didn't say anything, acknowledging it.

"In other words, THIS never happened"

Shinji was absorbing every word he said, it was true. He had almost gotten them both killed. He nodded to the comment, and stared outside the window.

"Now," he began, "In my report, I will write you simply got lost, and found your way back to the major's place. That will be our story, got it?"

Shinji again nodded in confirmation as the car stooped in Misato's apartment complex.

Shinji started to open the door, when the agent stooped him.

"There's a jacket in the back, blood's still on your shirt."

As Shinji put on the jacket from the back, he walked slowly to the driver's window to see the agent. Most of his face was covered by sunglasses.

"Are you still gonna be watching me?" he asked

"Probably" was the short reply he got, as the window started going up.

"Who are you?" he asked, wanting to know his name. But he knew the agent wouldn't tell.

The agent looked at Shinji and said: "I'm your guardian angel kid, with a pistol" and with that he drove off.

* * *

Shinji made his way up to his home. His legs aching with every step, he finally reached the door and knocked. A few seconds later, the door was opened by Misato. 

"Shinji? Where have you been?" Asked Misato, who was apparently only wearing a shirt over her underwear. Normally, this alone would make him nervous, but his hormones were the last thing on his mind.

"Sorry I'm late Misato, I got lost." Was all he said as he went inside, keeping up with the story.

"Lost?" asked Misato as she closed the door, "But weren't you with Hikari and Kensuke at NERV?"

"I left before them," he said, trying to sound convincing, "I must have taken a few wrong turns. It took me forever to get here."

"Shinji," she asked questioningly, raising an eyebrow, "Did you think of using your cell?"

Thankfully, Misato was looking at Shinji's back. Otherwise she would have seen his shocked expression. Shinji laughed and said "You're right, I guess I forgot." With that he started to open the screen to his room as Misato passed by him to go to her room.

She yawned, stretching her arms upward, saying something that appeared to be "Good night Shinji, call next time" Shinji snapped out of it and nodded as he went into his room a bit too quickly. Again she raised an eyebrow, but was too tired to think at the moment as she entered her own room.

Shinji leaned on the side of his bed, when she stretched; her shirt went up, showing a good view of her panties. He shook out of his train of thought _Stop thinking of her like that!_ He told himself. He had bigger problems anyways.

_I lost my cell…_

_**Can you not procure a new one?**_

_That's not it; I probably dropped it running from the hospital. If the Cultists find it they have all of my numbers- _

_**And could then find a way to harm your fellow pilots and friends?**_

_Yeah, not to mention what else they could do._

Shinji leaned his head back, resting it on the sheets. Too much had happened today, Toji, Rei, Asuka, he had almost died, and now they could all be in danger… he just really wanted to sleep…

_**Berserker?**_

His eyes closing at a painful pace, he gave in to the exhaustion and hunger. Eyes shut, his mind drifted into dream.

* * *

Misato was standing before him, with only a shirt on, Shinji was apparently only in his underwear. He was sitting on the edge of his bed as Misato asked: "Do you want to have fun Shinji?" 

Shinji looked around, everything else was pitch black. Misato, with a kind bright glow, walked in front of him. Putting her finger on his chin, she lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"Do you want to kiss me, Shinji" she asked in a seductive tone, smiling. All Shinji could do was nod as Misato closed the distance to his lips. He moaned and fell back on the bed as Misato's tongue entered his mouth. Her hands cradled his head as the kiss became more passionate. Her hips grinded against his, causing him more moans. She stopped the kiss to look at him and ask, "Do you want me to pleasure you Shinji?"

He nodded again, his eyes still closed. But he opened them again as he felt weight lifted from his chest. She was straddled to his hips, as she grabbed the hem of here shirt and took it off, revealing her naked figure. She was so beautiful, and her breasts…

His train of thought was interrupted as her hands grabbed the edges of his underwear, and lowered them. His member burst from its prison, a testament to his arousal. She let out a small giggle as she came back down to kiss him, her breast pressing to his chest. _So soft…_ was his only coherent thought. Her left hand snaked its way down his chest, to his abdomen. She made circles on his stomach before finally coming down to his member.

Shinji winced and moaned from her touch. As her hands caressed the length of his member, his breathing quickened. She began motions of caressing it up and down his length. This made him moan more frequently, as she asked him "Do you want to fuck me?"

He couldn't answer, this was euphoria. Her touch was so soft and careful; every muscle in his body was melting. This was a high of pleasure, so much that he didn't notice two figures coming from his sides. He could fell bare breasts on both his arms, but these weren't as big as…

"Do you want to fuck me?"

He barely opened his eyes, to see Asuka at his right. Then he felt a hand turn his head to the left, to see those familiar red eyes. Rei. "Do you want to fuck me?" she asked, with that soothing voice of hers. He was going to say something, but Misato's pace quickened; all he made out was a moan. Soon two new figures appeared, but these were adults, short brown hair and a blonde. Maya and Ritsuko.

"Do you want to fuck me?" they asked. Misato increased her pace, as all of them caressed his body. They kept asking, but he couldn't answer from the fact that Misato's hand kept going up and down on his member. His moans, whimpers and breaths were all he could he say. They kept asking, and asking, and asking. Then they fell silent, Misato's pace was unrelenting now. His muscles tightened, as he felt a pressure build up. Misato's head come to his ear and simply whispered:

"Do you want to fuck me?"

_Oh god, oh god, oh god-_

**"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

* * *

Shinji's head shot up, gasping for air. He was staring at his door, and he was still leaning on the bed. His muscles loose, he rubbed his temple. _Oh god_, he thought that was so real… He still recalled her touch on his…

_NO_ he ordered himself _just stop, just stop…_ he walked to his closet to get clean clothes and much needed clean underwear. As soon as he did, he went to the bathroom to change. As soon as he was done, he went to the laundry room, and threw his clothes one by one. He was hoping the blood would get of his shirt; soon he threw in his pants and undershirt. When he got to his underwear, he simply dropped it in. He turned on the machine and leaned on it for support.

_Do I see women as just objects?_ He asked himself. He looked at the clock in the laundry room 2:00 AM. He felt like shit.

**_Berserker,_** at the sound of the voice he jumped up **_although I could question you about your dream, you should eat._**

Shinji didn't feel hungry, he didn't feel anything really, but obeyed. He quietly went to the kitchen, hoping Misato wouldn't wake. He opened the fridge and thanked god for Misato's takeout habits. He grabbed a box of Teriyaki chicken that was half-empty, fork still in it. Soon he sat down and devoured it. He would have appreciated nourishment, but his mind was elsewhere.

_I'm so fucked up…_ was all he thought as he put down the fork.

_**Human, if this concerns the dream, are they common among your age?**_

_But I can't keep thinking of them like that, how could I be with Rei if all I want to do is…_ He almost didn't say the next word _fuck…her._

_**But human, you do have feelings for her.**_

_What if my sub-conscious is telling me-? _

_**Human, I AM your sub-concious at the moment, THINK! Do you want to be with the Ayanami girl for simply pleasure, or for something else?**_

Shinji was quiet…he was contemplating the question. But his thinking was interrupted by Arael.

**_Now, will I have to keep pretending to be your inner voice, or are you going to let me answer your question?_**

Shinji was puzzled, this question? Why would Arael-

_**Not this one Berserker, the one before…In the hospital.**_

He snapped out of his contemplation, _You're really going to tell me why you fight us?_

There was small pause **_One deserves to know why he fights._**

Shinji didn't say anything, he had wanted to know for so long, not the lies…

But the truth…

**_There are 18 angels Berserker, not 17 as you are commonly told, and the 18th…is humanity. _**

Shinji was immediately confused and convoluted, but knew would not answer the questions he had, were they going to fight people?

**_In The beginning, Adam and Lilith gave us a choice. The fruit of life or The fruit of intelligence. All picked the fruit of life. Except you lilim, you picked the fruit of intelligence. We rejected our human form, and became powerful. While you became intelligent, and the dominant species on Earth. _**

**_We became jealous, and we waited; until we had a chance to begin third Impact. This would start the world anew, thus giving one of us the chance to become dominant. This is why we do not help each other, for we ourselves are rivals._**

_**Human, this is all I will ever tell you. At least for now. **_

Shinji couldn't believe any of this…

**_But the reason why you fight Berserker is simple:_**

****

**_You fight to survive._**

_Asuka was right, they're our enemy…_He thought, not aware of Arael._  
_

_**Now, let us rest. Even I grow tired.**_

Shinji would have protested, but he was just overwhelmed by everything today. Maybe this would be a dream? But even he knew this was all real. He lied down on his bed, thinking of what tomorrow would bring. With this he fell asleep. Even the angel was tired, so he decided to "Sleep" as well.

Perhaps he would dream…

* * *

AN: MAAAAAAAAAAAAN does a lot of shit happen in this or what? 

1: if you read this without re-reading chapter 7, you are truly ignorant; I posted a warning a top of the page. The beginning is the same, but the middle and end is radically different.

2: Again I say this, IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!, but many factors contributed to me stopping, but im back. Expect another chapter this month, but definitely not this long.

3: CULTIST! HMMMMM HMMMM, I love fucked up people. Since I play WH 40K (Lots of cultist there!), I might include cultist in the story line. As it stands, it won't be a main storyline.

4: the dream was a twofold thing, for all the people anxious for the lemons, its gonna be a while. Lime though isn't so tough, so this was a taste. And the dream is a look into Shinji, whether its just hormones will be revealed.

5: there the answer is given to a lot of people's questions. NOW some of you will debate that this isn't it. I don't claim this is the reason of the angels attack; it is the most popular and the one that I like best. Correct if im wrong.

6: PROOFREADER? Do I need one? Yes, more than one? Probably. Any volunteers?

(Cause I know my grammar sucks)

7: Title, twin meaning (Survive the cultist, we fight for survival)

8: PLEASE REVIEW AND FORGIVE ME FOR TACKING SO LONG, BE AS CRITICAL AS POSIBLE.


	9. Couple

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by Strath and 94saturn, thanks to both of you. You get a pie.

**CHAPTER 8: COUPLE **

Shinji awoke in very much the same way as yesterday. The only exception was that this time, the headache was slightly duller. His eyes blinked as his nerves recovered their power. Even after he was conscious, he felt like he had come out of a dream.

_**Well, look who's conscious?**_

There goes that hope.

_Is that sarcasm?_

**_No, it is merely amazement. Being that angels never sleep, I am surprised how much you humans rest._**

_Wha-?_

He turned to look at the clock, 7:30, again he had overslept. He groaned, and forced himself to ignore the pain as he changed. Again, he simply grabbed some toast and made his way to school. The walk there was very much the same as yesterday. As he got to school, he rushed into the classroom seconds before the bell rang. As he saw Rei and Kensuke in the classroom, he finally remembered about yesterday.

He tried to sit down on his seat without drawing attention. He hoped he didn't look too nervous, because he was really scared shit-less. As the teacher droned on, hundreds of thoughts passed through his mind. They were quickly interrupted by the small beep of his laptop. He opened it to see a message from Kensuke.

-What gives? You ran out all of sudden?-

He closed it, not really feeling in a mood to talk. He rested his head on his hands and listened to the inessential information as the teacher droned on.

Unbeknownst to Shinji, Arael examined the minds of those in the classroom. Kojima's was especially interesting, with some information about performing certain actions with the annoying one. He stopped before scanning Rei, knowing he had to be careful. He was surprised to find her mind full of activity. **_Strange_**, he thought, **_from the memories of others, she seems very un-active_**. Most of the thoughts involved Shinji, considering she was not staring out the window as usual.

Arael moved on, contemplating whether he should kill the professor…not that he could either way.

Thankfully, after three hours of torture the lunch bell rang. Shinji immediately bolted to the store, in need to feed his hunger. He took his lunch into the gym pool; he really didn't feel like talking to anybody. It was a regulation sized pool, and the changing rooms were facing each other in a small hall. He finished his lunch in a few minutes, and he found himself to be staring into the still pool, the scent of chlorine filling his lungs.

_**Berserker, perhaps instead of worrying about what could happen, perhaps you should prevent it. Why do you not inform your superiors of the situation? **_

Shinji remained staring at the pool, reflecting the lights above, knowing he was telling the truth. He would eventually have to tell someone about the fact he had lost his cell. If he did, maybe they could avoid any problems. Everybody would be safe…

Then the thought of his father crept into his mind.

He sighed, knowing he would have to tell them eventually. The cell phone wasn't the only problem though, he soon remembered. He had been staring into the pool the entire time; Rei had come in the gym. She was in the entrance, watching him.

"Shinji?" She asked, walking a bit closer to him. "Are you… well?"

Shinji snapped from his thoughts, and looked at her crimson eyes. For a moment he wanted to lie and say everything was fine. But he needed to talk to someone…someone human.

"No, Rei, I'm not." He replied quietly.

Rei looked at the boy, whom was leaning on the wall as he sat, surprised by the answer. She was unsure of what to do, but he seemed to be in need. She slowly made her way to sit next to him. She blushed slightly at their closeness, but paid no mind to it.

"Would you like to…" She paused, unsure of what to say.

"Rei…I almost died yesterday…" Shinji began, sniffing to hide his tears.

And so he told her everything, the entire ordeal. He barely remembered to take out the details involving Arael and why he got lost, but he told her everything else. Rei displayed no major emotions, but heard the story with remorse. When Shinji finished telling her he was in tears, hugging his knees.

Rei was quiet, as she thought of what she should do. She cradled his head on her chest as he cried silently, for it was the only she could think of. Rei felt more at peace, as his cries turned into sniffles. The bell rang for lunch to end. She paid no attention to it, as the task at hand was more important.

* * *

Shinji didn't want to move, he felt at peace between Rei's breast and shoulder. He was very grateful she was here; he didn't feel like being alone. His thoughts went back to the dream he had yesterday, and what he thought it meant. He was truly debating whether he really liked her. But he was in a very comforting position. He wasn't aroused, despite his proximity to her breast, he was…happy. He really did like her.

As he came to this conclusion, Rei said: "Shinji, we must inform them of the loss of your cell phone"

He lifted his head to look directly at her, her eyes stared into his. He said quietly, not diverting his gaze: "I want to be with you Rei…"

Rei's face went from emotionless to shock. She had forgotten all about the question she had asked. At first it seemed he was merely avoiding the question, but his answer came from within. The way he had said it, he sounded vulnerable. Alone. She was thinking of an answer, but couldn't think of anything. Then she remembered…

Shinji kept staring into her eyes, seeing her shocked face. She was taking a long time to answer, and was afraid of what it could mean. Arael was dead silent; he would not intervene in any way. This was Shinji's decision. Shinji was about to look at the ground, until Rei did one simple thing.

She smiled.

* * *

The bell rang, school was over. Kensuke looked around, Shinji was still nowhere to be seen…neither was Ayanami.

"Something wrong?" asked a playful voice.

Kensuke turned to see Kasuki, standing next to his desk. Surprised, Kensuke tried to answer without stuttering: "Oh…err, it's just that Shinji dropped his cell phone yesterday, I have to give it back to him."

Kasuki slightly tilted her head, "Oh…Well, I saw Ayanami going into the pool at lunch, but she wasn't in her bathing suit. Maybe he's in there with her?" She suggested, after Kensuke mentioned they had a thing for each other.

He got up from his desk, and looked at her. "Thanks I'll check it out." He replied as he walked out of the classroom with her, ignoring the stares of other students. "So," he began, "you still wanna get together with Toji and Hikari on Saturday?"

"Yeah," She answered "I haven't seen him since a few weeks ago, plus… you are going to give me that footage you have from that angel right?" She asked, almost seductively. Kensuke blushed at her tone, but nodded. When he was near the pool, he said goodbye to Kasuki, and headed for the door.

_I can't believe she has an obsession with EVA too_ he thought, he opened the door to the gym and went inside. He was greeted with the scene of Ayanami holding Shinji. He resisted the temptation to make any sly remarks and slowly made his way closer. Ayanami looked up him as he came near, Shinji apparently asleep. As he got close enough to whisper, he asked "Is he asleep?"

Ayanami nodded, and then blinked.

_You just can't have a conversation with her…_ he thought. "Shinji dropped his cell back the hospital yesterday, I just wanted to give it back." He reached into his pocket and pulled out Shinji's cell phone. Rei's expression did change after this however, as she was surprised. Rei reached out to accept the cell phone. After she did, Kensuke left rather quickly.

She looked at the cell phone, then at Shinji. She sighed, he could rest easy now. She fingered his hair as he slowly breathed in and out. When he would awake, his problems would be solved.

She was glad Shinji had accepted to be together. She did not know why, but she simply felt… happy? At peace near him? Rei also deeply respected him, he had risk his life for others. She looked at Shinji once more; perhaps they would…complement each other.

Arael chuckled, things solved themselves. He was glad the child had made a decision as well; he was getting tired of his internal debates. He paid close attention to their affection for each other. He would see how things would play out.

For this was key…

* * *

AN:

KEY TO WHAT? I dunno, you tell me? His life? Probably, he likes her.

IS IT SHORT? Yes, and for that im sorry, but this was how far I had my ideas fully fleshed out, so it might be until February for the next chapter. Also, I just wanted the people at this point to know what to expect. Hopefully I pulled of the scene right.

BUT WHY? Well, that and my other 2 hobbies (drawing and WH40K) have been neglected the last few days, I needs to catch up!

WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT? Even im not too sure, but I decided to scratch the cultist story line, it was getting a bit convoluted.

LEMON? Not for a while, and probably not from me, I got a guy that's pretty good at this, so ill ask him.

PROOFREADES? I got 2, and Saturn was especially helpful in this chapter. Thanks man! Hope your horrible pain stops soon. (More are always welcome)

DO YOU ENJOY WRITING IN THE AUTHORS NOTES? Yes. Yes I do.

Any other questions, ask em in the reviews. Ill answer them.

-peace

SQUIRREL


	10. Kiss

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by Strath and 94saturn, thanks to both of you. You get a pie. And a Monkey!!!

CHAPTER 10: KISS.

Shinji returned home, later than usual, with an improved mood. The house was eerily empty and silent, Misato wasn't home apparently. Not even the warm-water penguin was in sight, probably in his freezer. Shinji noticed the fridge had a note on it, as he got closer he finally made out its message:

Shinji, gone bar-hopping with Ritsuko.

There's food in the fridge, and remember to feed Pen-Pen!

Later!

Shinji sighed, _At least she's leaving the house now… _With that thought he went to his room, he was glad she wasn't letting her suspension get to her. He picked up his S-dat and lied down on the bed. He looked at the device that had helped him get through tough times…through the crude method of drowning them out. He remembered when he was with Rei earlier; he really didn't want to leave. She comforted him…

_I almost died yesterday; have an angel living in my head, and she just makes me…forget._ He left the device on the bed and wondered about what had happened shortly after he had woken up. She was still cradling him, but when he woke up Rei handed him his cell. He was relieved. She then explained how Kensuke gave it back to him. He thanked her… he really did.

The entire ordeal of the cell phone had been tormenting him the entire day. He had some how come up with the courage to ask for her number. He took out his cell and looked at its new addition; she was only one call away now. He debated whether he should call her and do something…

_**Human, your interactions with the blue one are surprising. Where did this sudden courage come from?**_

He stopped himself from jumping, He would have to get used to Arael suddenly popping in. He really didn't know how to answer. He barely had the courage to talk to her before, and all of a sudden he could call her without thinking twice.

_Maybe it's because…I'm comfortable around her…_

_**Berserker, you have been around her for a mere few hours. All of a sudden you believe you have a connection? **_

He ignored Arael for a few seconds, but he had a point. Maybe they should go on a date? Or just be near each other…

_Might as well_, he thought_, Misato isn't gonna be home for a while_. He pushed the call button. And he put his phone next to his ear…

* * *

Rei had returned to her apartment a few minutes prior, and had been examining her new clothes. The major had been enthusiastic about getting her new items of clothing. Any clothing. Underwear, formal, casual… Rei had only accepted those which she liked. Unfortunately the major had bought many regardless.

She observed her now full closet and sighed, she would have to adapt to these clothes now. She closed the door to her closet and started to head to her kitchen, but the ring of her cell phone made her stop. She turned to see it ringing on her bed, as she made her way closer to answer.

Could it be the commander, or another angel? Her worries were put to rest when she saw it was Shinji, and answered.

"Shinji?" she asked.

"Umm…hi Rei" he began shyly, "How are you?"

"Unchanged since we left Shinji" Shinji blushed slightly at the response, and at the stupidity of his question.

"Well uhh…Rei, I was wondering whether…." He stopped midway to rephrase his sentence, "Are you hungry?"

The first child smiled slightly and answered "Yes slightly, what do you have in mind?"

Shinji then tried to answer without stuttering "Well uhh…" _Dammit!_ "I was wondering if you uhh… wanted to get something together?"

"That would be… acceptable." Was the short answer he heard.

When Shinji didn't hear her suggest a place, he asked, "Umm, how about the park? I know a noodle place there."

"Very well, shall we meet in the park?" Rei asked in her usual tone.

"Umm yeah, in an hour?" he asked meekly.

"I will see you there then. Goodbye Shinji" she said, her tone slightly…happier? He couldn't tell.

When Shinji snapped from his thoughts he said, "Goodbye Rei."

Rei heard a click on the other line. She closed her phone and looked at the closet.

_Perhaps… I will wear something different_ she thought, and started to search for something… acceptable.

* * *

Arael watched as Shinji went through what appeared to be a normal changing/showering routine. But he had seen enough of this human's memory to notice the differences. He had chosen his clothes carefully, and showered more thoroughly than usual. Also, he did not pursue in… certain acts he had done on previous occasions.

Shinji pressed his head on the wall as the water fell on the back of his neck. He hoped this would turn out well. _What am I going to say…What am I gonna do?_ The thoughts raced in his mind. The closest thing to experience was when Asuka kissed him, and that didn't really turn out well.

He really wanted this to go well, but how?

_Umm… Arael could ask for a favor?_

_**Hmm? **_

_When I'm with Rei, could you tell me what to do?_

_**Elaborate, human.**_

_Well, I can't ask you what she's thinking, since that would confuse me, _he said remembering what happened when he had invited her to dinner_, so can't you tell me what she's feeling? What she wants?_

There was silence, Arael did not want to get involved in human infatuation, but he complied.

_**Yes I could Berserker.**_

Shinji didn't say anything else; the annoyance was very evident in Arael's voice. He finished showering and changed. He grabbed some yen and made his way to the door. Shinji hopped it would turn out well…

* * *

Shinji was sitting on the bench around the middle of the park; he had arrived a few minutes ago. Both Arael and Shinji had been pretty quiet, looking at the trees around them. Pigeons wandering nearby, Shinji was getting anxious. He looked down the path to see Rei. He was dumbstruck.

He head never seen her in anything outside her plug suit or uniform. He hadn't expected anything different; he had forgotten she had gone shopping with Misato. She was wearing a buttoned blue blouse, with a short blue skirt. Nothing amazing, but the fact she had decided to wear something else was not lost to Shinji.

He stood up to greet her, but didn't know what to do. She stood in front of him, and he stood in front of her. He stood awkwardly, trying to begin:

"Hi Rei…" he said with a slight blush.

**_Hug her_**.

This almost made him jump, but remembered what he asked. He got closer and put his arms around her, she did the same. He could have sworn he heard her sigh, but then she stepped back.

"Hello Shinji, are you… better now?" she asked, a small tone of concern in her voice.

"Yeah, thanks… Is that something Misato bought you?" he asked, not wanting to remember about last night.

"Yes" She answered, "Where to now Shinji?" She looked at him, expecting an answer.

Shinji started to scratch the back of his head as he said, "Well umm…wanna go eat?"

Rei nodded, and Shinji started to lead the way.

* * *

Misato and Ritsuko were drinking in their usual place, a small piano tune playing in the background. They had spent time so far with some idle chatter, nothing really important. Misato was glad to escape the mountain of paper work in her room, among other things…

Ritsuko was glad to talk to Misato; the commander hadn't said why he had suspended her. Ritsuko had told him Asuka had survived only because Shinji went to help her.

Misato lowered her glass while she was thinking, then let out a small sigh of satisfaction before asking:

"Rits" began Misato, "As much as I enjoy this, I know you wouldn't invite me unless you have something to tell me or ask me" she turned to Ritsuko, "So what is it?"

Ritsuko chuckled; she put down her drink and looked at Misato. "Oh Misato, you know me too well" She smiled a little and then said, "Misato, I thought you should know…SEELE is bringing Unit 05 and the fifth here"

Misato blinked at that, "The commander asked for them?"

"Nop" Ritsuko took a folder from her purse and handed it to Misato, "SEELE is sending them without consent"

Misato took the folder and started to look through it while Ritsuko kept talking, "The UN got nervous with the last attack, and SEELE got permission to send Unit 05 and the fifth."

"Will Unit 05 have an S2 engine?" Asked Misato, afraid of what had happened to Unit 04.

"Unit 05 has something like the nuclear engine they had prototyped, it still needs a pilot though" Answered Ritsuko, lifting her glass to her lips.

"Does it need an energy cord?" asked Misato, getting to the photos of Unit 05. It looked like 03, but it was green.

"It does, but if it's cut off, it can last for up to 30 minutes" Ritsuko took another sip from her glass before saying, "Also, the pilot has prior military training from SEELE."

"Who is the pilot?" asked the lavender haired woman, flipping through the file.

"Mana Kirishima" was Ritsuko's answer as Misato came to her photo and information. Another child, that wasn't surprising, 15 at the most. She did have training, a year's worth. She had synched well enough with Unit 05, 70. She had brown hair up to her lower neck, and blue eyes.

"Thanks Ritsuko," she said, thinking what this meant. The last Angel had attacked from orbit, and there were still two left. God help them if another one attacked beyond range…

"What are friends for?" replied Ritsuko, putting down her now empty glass and shifting towards Misato. "But that's not all Misato; I wanted to ask you…

"About Kaji" finished Ritsuko as Misato gulped.

* * *

Shinji and Rei had finished eating and had returned to the bench where they had started and sat there, holding each other. Their lunch had been eerily uneventful, not really talking that much. Arael hadn't really talked, but Shinji didn't want to bother him. Apparently angels weren't foreign to anger…

Rei had snuggled herself on Shinji's shoulder, sighing in contempt every few minutes. They had been like that for a good half hour, not saying much just enjoying each others company. Shinji had his head slightly leaning on Rei's, just listening to her breath. They had talked a little, about Shinji's visit to the hospital and Rei shopping with Misato.

After Arael told him, he had made towards Rei's hand. He had inched closer, and watched her reaction. She had not made any indication of him to stop, in fact she inched her hand to his. Shinji then took her hand, and she let out a deep breath

A pigeon was nearby, not aware of the battle being fought over it. Arael had been trying to see if he could control the pigeon, and thus influence others more effectively. A sense of pathetic ness filled him; he had failed many times to control the strolling bird. Influencing someone's actions was not beyond him; control was something he had lost. He continued to try; only through practice might he regain some of his old self.

The couple was unaware of the small war being waged in the pigeons mind. It had flown to a nearby tree, eying the couple curiously. The pigeon blinked, and flapped its wings noisily at the sudden presence in its mind. It barely kept its balance over the branch as a voice said:

_**SUCCESS!**_

The now manipulated pigeon cocked its head in many directions, and flapped its wings in its place. Arael would have to be precise; he was tired of this date and had an idea on how to end it without questions. The pigeon turned to the location of the couple, and took off towards them. The pigeon flew carefully as it got closer…

And perched upon Shinji's head.

Shinji's head immediately shot up at the sudden weight on his head. Rei lifted her head slightly and looked at the bird upon Shinji's head, like a soldier on top of a fort. Shinji reached to feel what was on his head, but heard flapping and weight gone from his head. Both Shinji and Rei looked at the bird flying away.

_How… strange_ thought Rei as she lowered her vision to Shinji. Shinji had done the same, and they're faces were barely two inches apart. Both of the teens blushed at the proximity from each other, Shinji was about to look away until he heard:

_**Kiss her.**_

Shinji blinked at Arael's command, and gulped as he got slightly closer. Rei blinked in surprise at Shinji, but closed her eyes in response. The distance was closed, and they kissed. It was barely a peck, but for both the teens it seemed like a dear treasure. The contact both had been seeking finally came. Shinji's lips parted from hers slightly to look at Rei, he prayed this was better than Asuka's was. He was relieved to see her smile; she snuggled to his shoulder again. Shinji rested his head on hers, enjoying the moment.

Their hands entwined a second time, as Rei simply snuggled with him for some time. The kiss was… enjoyable and found herself wanting another. At the sudden loss of weight from his shoulder, he turned to see Rei looking straight at him. Shinji would have been confused if not for his associate.

_**Again Berserker.**_

Shinji understood, and again kissed Rei. He was a bit bolder this time around, and lifted his hand to play with her slightly. Rei let out a small "mmm" as the kissed continued for what seemed like hours…

A pigeon cood, although it was coo of anger. Arael had hoped this would end soon, even though his plan worked briliantly. He toyed with the pigeon, hoping the child would ask him for nothing more.

* * *

"Will they cooperate?"

"Yes, we have NASA's cooperation, although costly."

"Good, how soon will the mission be complete?"

"NASA estimates a month, more or less"

"Hmm, they are quick…"

"They want the cash sir, and this will also generate press for them."

"Very well, that will complete itself. What of the fifth?"

"She is ready at any moment, but we will send her with Unit 05 in about a week."

"I wish to meet her before she leaves, to make the objective very clear."

"Of course, sir."

"And the mass production Evas?"

"On schedule as planned, all nine will be ready simultaneously."

"Is Ikari under check?"

"Not to worry, he wouldn't dare to begin sooner than planned."

"Hmm."

"What of the seven-tenth? Should we send him?"

"Patience, he will serve his purpose."

Silence…

"The UN's funding friends, as you know, have enabled us to correct Ikari's mistakes and execute our plan sooner."

"Now, it is a matter of waiting."

* * *

They had both walked home as it was starting to get dark, holding hands along the way. Shinji had blushed slightly when people looked at them, but Rei didn't seem to mind. They had made their way to her apartment shortly, and were about to make their goodbyes. Shinji was standing in front of Rei; behind her were the stairs of the gloomy apartment.

"Shinji, shall I see you tomorrow?" She asked, looking up slightly to him.

Shinji contemplated the question, there was no school tomorrow. What else was he going to do?

"Um… sure Rei" he answered a bit meekly, hoping they weren't going too fast.

"Very well, I shall see you tomorrow Shinji" she said, looking at him for a bit longer.

Shinji was about to hug her goodbye, but that little voice that helped him said:

_**She wishes a kiss. **_

Shinji then closed his lips on hers, hoping that Rei wanting to kiss him so much was a good indication. Unlike the last one, this was a quick kiss. They parted and Rei gave a slight bow, she then turned around and began climbing the stairs.

Shinji turned around as well, making his way to Misato's. All in all, a very eventful day. He recalled how horrible he had felt in the morning, but Rei…. she just calmed him…

Ignoring the ever present head ache, he climbed the stairs up to Misato's apartment. When he got to the door, he listened to see if he could hear anything. He could almost hear someone crying.

_Oh no_ he told himself.

He opened the door to see Misato sitting on the couch, hands on her face. She continued to cry, unaware of Shinji coming in. She was wearing a more formal dress, and her purse was on a kitchen chair. He didn't need Arael to tell him this time, he walked to her slowly to console her.

Misato wasn't crying as badly as last time, but was still surprised when Shinji touched her shoulder and asked:

"Misato…" but before he could add to the question, she interrupted.

"Shinji, I'm sorry," she stopped to clean her eyes and sniff, "It's just that Ritsuko asked about Kaji…" She looked down and tried to hold herself from crying.

"Do you want me to stay here a while?" Shinji asked, again not needing Arael.

She didn't lift up her head, but only nodded slightly. Shinji made his way to her left side and sat next to her. At first she kept looking at the ground, almost ashamed of counting on him for help. Eventually she leaned her head on his shoulder, wrapping her right arm around him. Shinji put his right around her as well, bringing her a bit closer.

Shinji now knew how important it was for someone to hold you when you feel alone. When Rei held him today, and when he had held Misato, he knew it helped. They didn't talk, the only noise was Misato's sniffles, the contact alone was enough. After what could have been an hour, she finally said:

"Thank you Shinji" She looked up at him, gazing at his eyes. Shinji looked into hers, longer than he should have. Shinji blushed slightly and turned the other way.

"It's nothing Misato" he said, Misato had to looked away, the smallest tint of a blush on her cheeks. She stood up, bowing slightly to him as thanks and went to her room. Shinji stayed in the couch for a bit, wondering why she had left suddenly.

He sat up and went to make himself something to eat, maybe then he wouldn't feel like they were jamming copper wire into his entire head.

Misato closed the screen to her room, and wondered what the hell had just happened. When she looked at him…

She wanted to kiss him…

She rubbed her temples, telling herself:

_It was just the moment _she began, and then added, _Besides I must be horny as hell…_

Finishing the thought, she looked at her two options. Paperwork, or sleep. It was barely 9:00 PM…

_Ill take a shower instead_ she decided, fishing the necessary garments from the various places they were scattered on or kept.

Shinji had made himself a small meal of instant noodles. Crude, but they served their purpose. He quickly inhaled them, failing to notice that Misato went to the bathroom. When he finished, he again reflected on what had just happened. He had helped someone, again. He was a coward but a week ago, drowning himself in music. He had changed. Arael had been quite for a long time now, not that he minded. He wasn't used to the sudden voice in his head yet. He had Arael to thank for his changes. Yet something still puzzled him…

_Arael?_

_**Yes Berserker?**_

_You have helped me with Rei, Misato…with everything… But I can't help but wonder, if there is another reason you're in my head?_

_**Ahh the human curiosity, it will be the death of humanity itself.**_

Shinji raised an eyebrow at the response, was he avoiding the question?

**_Human, I have already mentioned why we fight you, you offer me protection._**

_But you said you could jump to anyone's mind, you must need something from me specifically…_

Arael was quiet, the human had come upon the question quicker than he expected. He considered his options, But he decide to tell the truth.

**_Your assessment is correct human; I would prefer to stay specifically with you._**

_Why?_

**_Human, I failed. I failed to begin third impact, and I am barely alive. I have but one reason now to survive…_**

…_**My brothers and sisters will NOT prevail.**_

Shinji was utterly speechless. Arael had said those last words with pain and anger. He hadn't expected this answer.

_**They will not become the dominant race, and I will help you in any way I can.**_

Shinji decided to stay quiet; he had touched what may have been a delicate subject. He stood up and headed to his room, opening his screen door. He began changing, he was tired. He hoped the headaches would lessen soon, or he would have to be sleeping constantly. Misato, wearing only a towel around her body, peaked into the room.

She saw that was Shinji changing, a small "oh" escaped her lips. Resisting any comments, she simply said:

"Shinji, thanks again for today." Shinji turned to see at the recently bathed Misato before responding:

"Its ok Misato, goodnight" He made his way to his bed as Misato also said goodbye and closed the door. Shinji lay down on the bed, the headache quickly drifting him to sleep.

Arael was silent. He had told the truth.

**_Arimisael…Tabris…I am sorry…_** were the last words uttered by the angel.

* * *

AN: Well, I guess I meant mid-February.

WELL here is the longest chapter I've written, I was getting tired of bite sized episodes.

A reminder, this is chapter 10. I don't know why I have to remind you though…

A shout out to Saturn, he's a great help.

As for the next chapter… maybe this month, MAYBE!!! Sometimes I get writers block.

Please leave a review, any and all advice is appreciated. Peace out.

-Squirrel


	11. Clouded Minds

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by J says no and 94saturn, thanks to both of you. You get a pie, and also my respect. No refunds suckers!

CHAPTER 11: CLOUDED MINDS

Light entered through the blinds into the dank room, illuminating the small sleeping figure on the bed. The young woman's breaths filtered out slowly, as the figure stirred slightly. A small groan broke the silence, as the sheets were shuffled about. Rei sat upright on the bed, brushing her face with a yawn, this is the only place illuminated by the light; a large contrast to the largely dark room.

She blinked as her head turned from one side to the other. She emitted a small sigh as she left the bed, revealing her half-naked body. Panties are sufficient sleepwear, and quite comfortable. She headed to the closet to dress herself; the morning was colder than usual. As she began to pick something, she recalled yesterday's date.

She sighed slightly, she had enjoyed it. Shinji was different since the 15th; he was not as shy as before. Rei thought he had been quite bold, something she had not expected. She hoped this was a positive effect from the relationship. She was looking forward to being with him again today, she felt… strange around him…

* * *

Shinji was cooking breakfast as usual, for both him and his guardian. He started serving the meal, hoping Misato would wake up from the smell of fresh food. He sat down and began to eat his own breakfast, as he heard the screen to Misato's room opening. She walked in yawning, wearing apparently only a shirt over her underwear. She opened the fridge, taking out her usual YEBISU.

She sat down as Shinji devoured his food, Misato's eyes on him. Shinji noticed and finished chewing his fare before asking. "Misato, something wrong?"

She shook her head a little, moving some of the hair away from her eyes while saying, "No Shinji, I just noticed you were a bit happier than usual." She immediately began eating, apparently having as big of an appetite as Shinji.

Shinji blushed, remembering the reason why he was happy. Trying to hide the blush, he continued eating. Misato, being the keen observer she was, noticed this. She couldn't help herself from teasing.

"Shinji," she began "What have you been doing in the bathroom?"

Shinji choked on his food as Misato began laughing. He finished coughing as Misato almost fell off her chair. While this was happening Pen-Pen walked out of his fridge; wondering what his master had done this time.

_**What is she insinuating Berserker?**_

"Misato!" screamed Shinji a clear blush showing. His guardian kept laughing and banging her fist on the table, ignoring his obvious embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Shinji," she barely said as she calmed down, "But I couldn't help myself." She wiped a tear out of one of her eyes before continuing, "Shinji, are you..?"

Shinji immediately cut her of, screaming, "Misato! I'm not doing anything!" He looked down at his food, blushing. Misato looked at his now more evident blush and continued questioning him.

"Shinji, its ok .You're at an age…Well its perfectly healthy"

"Misato I'm not masturbating!" he screamed again. He then diverted his gaze, before saying, "Misato, I am in a good mood…Just not because of…that."

A small smirk formed in his guardian's face, completely ignoring her food to keep probing the small boy.

"Shinji, why are you in such a good mood?" she leaned a little closer, exposing her chest slightly. "Is it because I'm only wearing a shirt? Or did you happen to see my panties when I was coming in?" She leaned closer still, her face inches from Shinji's. Shinji could barely divert his gaze from the cleavage of her ample bosoms; he shook his head and screamed.

"Damn-it Misato! I went on a date with Rei!" Shinji slammed his fists on the table, standing up from his chair. Misato jumped back to her place, wide eyed at both his reaction and response. Shinji breathed deeply, as Misato simply observed him. As he calmed down, he realized what he had said and his expression changed from anger to panic.

Shinji lowered his glare to the table, before walking to his room. Misato heard Shinji's screen slam shut, and she looked back at the table. She rubbed the bridge of her nose before whispering to herself, "You really did it this time…"

* * *

Shinji was leaning on his bed, hugging his knees. The fan above circled slowly, emanating a small hum. The boy sighed, pressing his head on his knees. Shinji contemplated what he had just done, he had never screamed at Misato before.

_She took me in… and this is how I repay her?_

He knew she only teased him as a way to have fun, but he just lost it. He didn't know why…her questions would have probably been true any other day. He raised his head as he heard footsteps coming closer.

Soon a knock emanated from the door, and a voice followed. "Shinji, can I come in?" asked his guardian softly. Shinji didn't respond, and soon his guardian spoke again. "Shinji, I'm coming in…" The door opened softly and quietly, and light entered the room, silhouetted by the figure of Misato.

Misato walked in, wearing the same clothes, and sat down besides Shinji. For a while there was an awkward silence. Neither one of them talked, but both sat next to each other. Eventually, it was Misato that broke the silence, "Shinji…I'm sorry for teasing you…" Her head hung low, as if she were bowing for forgiveness. Shinji turned to look at her, and saw how sincere she was.

"Misato, its ok…I know you don't tease me to make fun of me."

"But I shouldn't tease you to begin with," began the lavender haired woman next to him, "After what you go through, and…" Misato swallowed before finishing, "and after you've consoled me these past few days."

She looked at Shinji, sniffling a little, "Shinji…you sacrifice so much for me, for everyone. The last thing you need is me teasing you, I'm sorry"

Shinji choked back a tear. Misato, closed her arm around him in an embrace, "Shinji, I want you to know that even though people don't say it often…thank you."

Shinji started crying softly, and Misato joined him. Unlike the other times both had cried, this was not out of desperation or sadness. After a few seconds of this, Misato wiped a tear and said, "Come on Shinji, your food is getting cold."

Shinji nodded as his guardian stood up and walked toward the kitchen, giving him a good view of her shapely behind. He stopped that train of thought and followed her, both of them sitting back on the table. They both ate in relative silence for a few minutes before Misato finished.

"Well Shinji," She said, "Thanks for breakfast."

"Your welcome" was his short answer.

"So Shinji," she began, looking at him intently, "When did you and Rei start dating?"

Shinji looked up to his guardian's face, whom had a face not of mischief, but of genuine curiosity. "We went on our first date yesterday" he answered, blushing slightly. Misato just smiled, and started to take the dishes to the sink. Shinji was surprised she wasn't teasing him, and finished the rest of his food observing her,

_God she's beautiful_ he thought, feeling a tinge of guilt now that he was with Rei.

Misato turned to the boy, who was evidently staring at her. "Shinji, I appreciate the fact you find me attractive…I might even say yes some time" She started walking back to her room, leaving the now red-faced Shinji alone in the kitchen. Before walking out of sight, she turned to him, "Shinji, I'm glad you and Rei are dating" she smiled slightly at him, "It'll be good for both of you" and with that, she entered her room.

Shinji smiled at that. That's what he hoped for.

* * *

After this, Misato had had gone into the bathroom to take a shower. She usually took baths, but was going to meet up with the Ritsuko, Maya and the other bridge techs, so she didn't have time. She removed her clothes, revealing her jagged scar. She turned on the water and entered the spray.

A small "mmm" escaped her lips as the warm water impacted on her bare body. The water trickled down the length of her form, as her hair clung on to her skin. She steeped back from the shower head slightly, so the water concentrated on her abdomen. Inadvertently, she had leaned back slightly, so now the water hit her lower navel. Now a small moan escaped her lips.

_Oh God…_ she thought to herself, she hadn't gotten off in weeks, ever since Kaji. _God I need this_ she reasoned, she was getting horny. Misato bowed her head slightly, with some shame, because she is about to perform the same act that she teased Shinji for.

Her right hand slithered down below her waist, as her left fondled her left breast. She moaned as she began to lie down on the tub, acomadating herself in a way that the water was enhancing this. She increased her pace slightly, as her right hand made circles. She squeezed her left breast, letting another moan escape her lips. She continued this, gasps and moans filling the bathroom.

She felt herself getting closer and uttered "Oh Shinji…" She continued to pleasure herself, then stopped. Her eyes were wide open, as she had forgotten all about what she was doing.

_What the hell did I just say?_

* * *

Shinji had been waiting for Misato to finish using the bathroom, so could he shower before meeting Rei. He was lying on his bed after he had done the dishes, just staring at his ceiling. He could have sworn hearing a moan, but tried to distract himself.

_Arael, why are you always so quiet? _

**_There is no need for me to participate in most of your situations_** responded Arael **_I only intervene when needed or when you ask me too human._**

_But…why?_

There was a small silence before the angel began_ **I find it hard to believe you can not reason anything yourself Berserker, yet you defeated my brothers and sister.**_

Shinji would have retorted quicker were it not for the other moan he heard, this time he couldn't drown it out. He closed his eyes, and focused on the conversation. _Because I don't know how you think._

_**Berserker, I do not participate for the reason that you can solve most of your situations without it. Also, participating when not needed worsens the situation. **_

Shinji lied on his bed, breathing, while processing Arael's answer. He knew it was true. Not to mention the fact the angel didn't particularly like interacting with humans directly. He also knew this was helping him become a better person; Arael only spoke when he was doing something wrong. Before, he would never have consoled Misato, or dared to kiss Rei.

He opened his eyes when the moans in the background stopped. He wondered what was going on; not listening to what his perverted mind told him was happening. He yawned, finally noticing how hungry and sleepy harboring the angel made him. It was early; he might as well take a small nap.

_Arael, can you wake me up in 30 minutes?_

_**Do I have a choice?**_

Shinji turned to his side, wondering if the angel was learning sarcasm. He yawned one last time before closing his eyes.

* * *

Misato got out of the tub immediately, not bothering to finish showering. She had put on her underwear, and then she looked at herself in the mirror, grabbing the sides of the sink for leverage. She had panicked after what happened, she was barely standing. She breathed deeply to calm herself down, she was a hysterical wreck.

_Calm down, calm down, calm-Oh Jesus Christ…_ She lowered her gaze to the sink not being able look at her self in the mirror. _It was just the moment; it was just the moment…_ she repeated to her self. She steadied her legs, and wrapped a towel around her body. She grabbed the clothes she was going to put on, and exited the bathroom.

As she left the bathroom, she looked at Shinji's room. The screen was open, and she could see Shinji sleeping on the bed. She felt her cheeks redden as she entered her room. She closed the screen and dropped her clothes on the bed; she then kneeled to the side of the bed.

She was still shaking. She was trying to tell herself it was an accident, but the evidence… He calmed her down, when she kissed him, when she wanted to kiss him yesterday…

What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I like a 14 year old boy? She rubbed her temple, finding ways to contradict this, to prove it wrong. Thank God she was going out with the crew; she was going to need a shitload of liquor to forget this entire thing…

* * *

Shinji awoke to an empty house; it was strange for it to be this quiet. He showered and cleaned up the kitchen, feeding Pen-Pen along the way. After Shinji had left the house in decent shape, he called Rei. A few rings latter the cell clicked.

"Ayanami speaking" was the cold response he got.

"Rei, it's me" he said, still unsettled by her sometimes emotionless response.

"Shinji… How are you?" she asked, warmth was now in her voice.

"Fine Rei," he paused for a second before continuing, "Rei, I was just calling to see if we were still going to get together"

Rei smiled slightly at the shyness in his voice, "Of course Shinji, perhaps we should meet at NERV?"

Shinji emitted a questionable "Hmm?" to which Rei raise an eyebrow. "Shinji, did Horaki not inform that Suzahara is being discharged today?"

"What?!" he blurted out, Rei jerking backwards from her phone.

"Shinji, we should accompany them, Aida and Kojima will be present as well"

_Kojima and Kensuke?_

_**Did you think I was lying when I said she was interested in him?**_

Shinji then responded, "Yeah, sure. Ill meet you there in an…hour?" he asked quizzically.

"Very well Shinji, farewell" and then the line clicked.

* * *

Shinji had arrived at NERV ten minutes early; he had bolted out of Misato's at the thought of him being discharged. He was anxious; he was finally on good terms with Toji. Shinji waited for Rei as he recovered his breath, and soon enough saw her coming down the street. She was wearing a green blouse and some shorts. Shinji tried not to stare at her legs as she got closer.

"Hello Shinji, shall we go?" She asked.

"Wha- oh yeah sure" he responded, snapping out of his gaze, "But before we go Rei, should we tell them…"

Rei continued to look at him, her expression unchanged. Shinji sigh and swallowed before finishing, "About…us?"

Rei tilted her head slightly to the side, "Is that a problem Shinji?"

Shinji lowered his gaze a little, "No, it's just that… well…"

"Are you embarrassed about our relationship Shinji?" she asked a barely noticeable hurt in her voice.

"No Rei, it's not that" he reassured, "Well, you know how Toji and Kensuke are…"

Rei smiled slightly, finally understanding "Very well Shinji, I leave it up to you."

She began walking to the entrance unexpectedly, and it took Shinji a moment to follow. They both swiped their Ids and went to the hospital.

_**Is it safe to assume human, that you wish for me to perform the same as yesterday?**_

_Please_ was Shinji's answer. He had realised how clueless he was when talking to Rei outside.

They arrived at the hospital, and when they got to Toji's room, knocked.

"Come in!" said the voice of the class rep.

They opened the door and saw a rather strange scene. Toji was on his wheelchair, but wearing his trademark gym clothes. On the left bed, facing Toji, was Hikari. However she was not wearing her school uniform, but some more casual clothes, which made her look cuter than usual. On the other bed was Kensuke with his trademark camera and glasses, wearing something pretty much the same as the school uniform. Fighting for control of the camera was Kasuki Kojima, and wearing a simple blouse and shorts, looked as stunning as ever.

Then he was greeted by the wave of… Greetings.

"Shinji!"

"Shin-man, you made it!"

"Hey Rei!"

"Well Ayanami, you two came together huh?"

Finally it was chance for one of them to talk, Shinji was embarrassed, but Rei answered the question.

"Yes, Shinji was not aware of Suzahara's discharge."

To this, Hikari emanated a small gasp and covered her mouth, "Oh Shinji, I forgot to tell you…"

"It's fine really," Began Shinji, scratching the back of his head, "I'm just lucky I called Rei…"

Shinji stopped suddenly, realizing what he had said. Everyone but Rei raised an eyebrow. Shinji lowered his head while blushing, before Rei interceded, "Suzahara, you are in good health now?"

"Yeah I'm fine now," He said, stretching his arms a little, "I'll be going to school starting Monday"

"So Shinji," Began Hikari, trying to break the awkward silence that began when Shinji mentioned calling Rei, "We were about to go eat outside NERV, after we get Toji discharged, you guys wanna come?"

"That would be pleasant" answered Rei. Unfortunately, Shinji wasn't thinking through his head at the moment.

"Wait…what are we going to eat at the cafeteria, then go?"

Kojima, who ad been quiet along with Kensuke, laughed at the fact he had thought about the food first. Rei looked at him analytically, and Toji popped the smart alec term.

"Man, and everyone says I'm the one with the big stomach."

Shinji lowered his head in shame, before Hikari pointed out something obvious he hadn't noticed. "Shinji, I cooked something, we'll eat it outside."

"Shinji," began Kojima, "Did you eat breakfast?"

"Umm, no I overslept…" Lied Shinji, glad for a way out. Hikari stood up, and signaled Kensuke and Kasuki to do so as well. As they did, Kasuki tried to swipe at the camera again, before Kensuke moved it out of the way.

"I'll show you the battle later" Said a frustrated Kensuke, as Kasuki began a fake pout.

"But you promised you'd show it!" she said, crossing her arms in a Humph.

"Jeez, I thought Kensuke was obsessed…" muttered Toji to Hikari. Hikari was about to push Toji, but he waved her off, and made his way out of the room to the doorway. Hikari followed him, before Toji announced, "Look it's gonna be a while before I'm discharged, so we'll just meet at the desk in half an hour, okay?"

Kensuke and Kojima nodded, before Rei spoke, "Suzahara I have been hospitalized many times here, I could be of assistance with the discharge form."

"Thanks Rei," Said Toji, "the sooner I leave the better; I'm starting to hate this place…"

"That makes two of us" remarked Shinji, as Rei followed the couple into the hallway.

"Later guys, we'll see ya later!" shouted Hikari as they made their way to the desk

Shinji turned around to Kensuke and Kasuki, "What are you guys going to do?"

"I'm gonna walk around, I managed to sneak a camera in here, damned if I'm not going to use it" said the freckled boy, before the beautiful girl next to him began.

"Yeah, I've never been here before, I guess I'll explore with Kensuke" She got closer to Kensuke's face, a tone of menace in her voice, "AND he's showing me that angel battle you recorded, right?"

Kensuke's face turned into something between a flush and fear, as he stuttered a response, "Yeah, come on lets go." With that, the odd pair walked out of the room.

Shinji was alone in the room, wondering what to do. He could explore with Kensuke, but didn't really feel like it. He could go help Toji out but was scared of screwing up like he did in here.

_Why didn't you help me out?_

_**You expect me to read the minds of all five of them and give you advice human? You asked for help only for the blue one, and that is what I will deliver. **_

Shinji sat down on a bed, before continuing. _What should I do?_

**_About what human? Nobody is in particular need for you at the moment. Perhaps you should visit the red one? _**

Shinji blinked and swallowed at the suggestion. He didn't know if he wanted to go in there. But he should face her, even if she was asleep. He still remembered the revelation Arael had told him, and the events that followed.

_Arael…could you read her mind? _

There was a pause.

**_Yes human, although what little I give you is all I can give. I will not risk revealing myself. She might sense me as you did. _**

Shinji stood up and headed for Asuka's room.

* * *

There she was, very much the same as she was before. Still that lifeless mess, a large contrast to her fiery self. Shinji was sitting on the chair on the side of the bed, he wanted to ask her. Ask her why. But she couldn't even hear him…

_Arael…why is she like this? You said she was broken when you…attacked her? _

There was a long silence; he sat staring at the girl. A girl he had admired even liked. It felt like a minute, but he knew it was longer than that when Arael answered.

**_Human, Eva is her life. She was raised and trained for this, this is her life. The thought of an amateur such as you being the hero instead of her is painful. She has been hurt many times, but the one of being useless for Eva is the on that did it. She cannot do what she was raised up to do. She considers herself useless…_**

Shinji sat there, absorbing everything. It was something he thought was happening, but never really considered. He reached out and took her hand, and without the courage to look at her face, looked at the floor.

"Asuka…" he began, "I don't think you're useless…"

"Please… Asuka wake up…" he chocked back a little, "I don't want to be responsible for this… I tried to save you damn-it, isn't that enough…?"

He laid his head on the side of the bed, his arms at his side.

"I need you…"

He stayed like that for some time. He wasn't sure why he said that, or why he even talked to her. She couldn't hear him…

The door opened and in came Rei, "Shinji, Suzahara has been…" she stopped when she saw Shinji, he lifted up his head and wiped his eyes. "What is wrong Shinji?" she asked.

"Nothing Rei, it's just…" he swallowed as he stood up, composing himself. "Let's just go" he decided telling her would only complicate things. Rei looked Shinji as he left the room, then at Asuka. She left the room shortly after.

Neither of them ever saw Asuka's hand twitch.

* * *

AN: Well people, another chapter, and with about the same length as the last one. I know I am taking longer, but hopefully the quality has improved no?

Also the Deal for proofreaders is OFF! Ya heard me! I gots two now!

Anyways, I am not going to be writing for a bit, I promise one within this month. Whether it's quite as long, will be entirely up to the amount of reviews.

And well, the plot thickens. I would like to ask to anyone if I'm missing something; I tend to be forgetful of my own plot!

Many thanks to J says No, and especially 94saturn. Without you guys, my writing would be as good as George Lucas's. That's not a compliment to George Lucas, "Only my new powers can save you"? What was he smoking…

Peace, any other questions leave in the reviews.

Squirrel.


	12. Friends

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by J says no and 94saturn, thanks to both of you. You get a pie, and a delicious rat. From Mexico!

CHAPTER 12: FRIENDS

"The food was delicious!" Toji stated. And indeed the statement was true; the group was sitting in a circle around the basket that had held the meal. Everyone had had their fill, courtesy of Hikari. Shinji and Rei were sitting together, although not showing any clear signs of affection. Hikari was sitting next to Toji, who was on the grass with the wheelchair by his side. Kensuke was showing the video Kasuki wanted to see, apparently a recording of the 4th angel battle.

"Jeez Aida, you sure do panic…" remarked Kasuki as she continued watching the battle through the camera. The sound of unit 01 crashing on the mountainside soon emanated from the small camera.

"Well, there was an Eva that fell right next to us…" said Kensuke, trying to find an excuse.

"At least Toji didn't scream like a girl" Kasuki turned off the camera before setting it aside, "Is this the only battle you have on tape Aida?"

"We barely snuck out before everyone was in the shelters, so yeah" The boy lamented.

Kasuki sighed in disappointment, "Well, I guess I'll just be watching that one" Kasuki then turned her attention to Shinji and Rei, staring for a bit.

"Kojima, is something the matter?" asked a concerned Rei.

"It's just that I've never seen you wearing something other than your uniform" She said, chuckling a bit, "It's almost bizarre."

Rei's cheeks emanated a very light blush as she turned her gaze to Toji and Hikari,

"Horaki, are you and Suzahara an item?"

Hikari blushed as well, as Toji intervened, "Yeah, we're dating," He scooted a little closer to Hikari as he said "But we just started."

Kensuke then looked at Shinji and Rei, "What about you two? You've been hanging out an awful lot together" He said, probing for teasing opportunities.

Kasuki, with a very similar mindset, continued, "Yeah, were you two doing something… unspeakable in the gym yesterday?"

Now it was Shinji's turn to blush, as everyone but Rei laughed, Hikari less so. It was Rei that came to their rescue however.

"We did not engage in any inappropriate actions Kojima." Rei then turned to Shinji before saying, "We are however, dating."

Everyone paused at the words, Shinji blushing as much as ever. Hikari, apparently the least shocked of them all, asked, "Shinji? Are you really…?"

Shinji raised his head meekly, and nodded. Rei took his arm and cuddled closer, apparently unaffected by the others watching. Shinji only averted his gaze from the stares, somehow hoping something would save him.

_**Berserker, she wishes a kiss.**_

_What!?_ Shinji's eyes shot wide open at this, he was embarrassed enough as it is. He didn't know what to do, but he could feel Rei close to his face. He turned to look at her, an expectant glimmer in her eyes. She slowly inched closer…

…And Shinji turned away, burning red.

* * *

Why the commander had let the ENTIRE main crew have a day off was beyond her, but she'd be dammed if she didn't take this chance to prove her drinking skills.

"AAAAAAAAA….sorry Makoto, still too slow" teased the triumphant Misato, Makoto putting down his glass in shame. Ritsuko, Makoto, Hyuga, Maya and Misato were all in their favorite bar; determined to finally just have a day for themselves. Unforchenetly, it was barely noon; yet Makoto, Hyuga, and Misato had gotten into a drinking game. And they were all beginning to fell the effect.

"Misato, it's barely noon…" said the blonde, with her assistant at her side nodding in agreement.

"Well, I guess I could pace myself…" Mused Misato as she leaned back on her chair. She was glad to finally have an opportunity to be with her friends, outside of NERV. She was also grateful for the distraction after what happened in the morning.

_Forget it, just forget it…_ Misato told herself, focusing on the people around her instead.

* * *

After what happened, there was an awkward silence. Thankfully, it was broken, and everyone continued socializing; deciding they shouldn't probe further. Toji and Hikari were close together the entire time, showing a small sign of affection every now and then. Kensuke and Kasuki were obviously friends at this point, and it was strange to hear somebody else talk about Eva with as much fanaticism. Thankfully, she didn't probe nearly as much as Kensuke.

Rei was more reserved after what happened. She didn't show it, but Shinji could tell she was embarrassed. Shinji was disappointed with himself, but he just couldn't do it. He was also embarrassed with everyone watching, and was wondering how Rei got so daring. Rei was still sitting close to him, he scooted closer and inched his hand to take hers. She turned her head up to look at him, a slight sad look on her eyes. He squeezed her hand a little. She leaned her head on his shoulder, hoping this at least cheered her up.

"Shinji?"

Shinji was snapped from his attention on Rei to Kasuki, who still had a few questions.

"Yeah?"

"How long have you and Rei been dating?" She asked, a tint of curiosity in her voice.

"Just yesterday" was Shinji's response, he wasn't really aware of how short a period it had been.

Kasuki giggled a bit before saying, "You know, Ayanami, a lot of girls are gonna be jeaoulous." She pointed a finger at Shinji then continued, "There were a lot of girls that really wanted to date him."

Shinji changed expressions very quickly at the revelation. As far as he was concerned…

Arael, is this true?

_**Yes, there are quite a few of your classmates that would enjoy being with you.**_

Shinji turned to Kasuki, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," responded the beautiful young woman, "You can ask Hikari, she knows too."

Shinji turned to Hikari now, a look of utter confusion on his face. Hikari blushed a little, but responded anyways, "Well… Yes Shinji, there are some girls that-"

"Some?" cut in Kasuki, "Might as well have been a fan-club!"

Shinji was stupefied.

Soon everyone began laughing; the look of clueless ness and shock on his face was priceless. Even Rei giggled at this, apparently her mood slightly lifted. Kasuki stopped laughing to stretch her entire body in a yawn. Kensuke however, could not resist looking. The shorts she was wearing really showed of her legs, and the stretch enhanced it. Of course he did not simply focus on her legs, but on her ample chest as well.

Kasuki, very aware of his stare, broke in, "See something you like Aida?"

Kensuke snapped out of it, blushing furiously as Kasuki laughed.

Toji intervened with a necessary quip, "Jeez Kensuke, too bad you didn't have your camera huh?" Ksauki and Toji laughed at this, knowing the boys obsession for filming. Hikari, Shinji, and Rei were more reserved, but chuckled at Kensuke's cheeks, practically blazing red.

Rei had noticed that when Kojima was stretching, Shinji had been observing her as well. Even after he held her hand in reassurance, she had heard him talking to Souryu. Rei did not show it, but doubt grew in her heart.

* * *

The group disbanded after an hour, each with a different excuse. Toji had to go see his family, Hikari was going to go with him. Kasuki had to study for a test, and Kensuke was apparently helping her. As for Rei, she had an appointment at NERV, but in an hour. Shinji stayed with her as everybody else left, they were already at NERV, and so it was pointless to go somewhere else. They were still outside NERV, lying under a tree, cuddling.

Shinji, however, didn't have peace of mind. He had noticed she was acting slightly differently, and needed to ask.

_Arael, is she disappointed?_

**_Yes Berserker, but I believe you should find out for yourself. _**

Shinji was about to protest, but he decide to trust the angel. He shook his shoulder a bit, to which Rei lifted her head to look at him.

"Rei, is something wrong?"

Rei heard the question, and at first was unsure of how to answer, but after hearing the sincerity in his voice she decided to tell the truth.

"Shinji, are you embarrassed to be with me?"

Shinji recoiled at the question; he was going to ask what would make think that, but stopped when it looked like she would continue.

"-You were apprehensive at admitting our relationship, and also of showing it." She looked down, Shinji unable to see her expression. "I also saw you observing Kojima in the same manner as Aida…"

Shinji was thinking of something to say, but Rei kept going, "I also heard you talking to Souryu." This made Shinji regret this mentally, he should have explained what he meant. "You also expressed emotions when you were informed of other classmate's attraction to you…"

She finally turned to face Shinji, seeing her face was hard. Her expression was of sadness, but with something else mixed in. Something he had never seen her show.

Fear.

"Shinji, if I am not physically attractive to you or you would rather pursue a relationship with someone else…Please do so…"

Shinji's mind was racing for a solution. He fucked up, but she also misunderstood a few things. He needed to reassure her… but how?

"Rei-"

"I will not hinder your pursuit for happiness Shinji…" She added solemnly.

"Rei, I miss Asuka. She has been someone important in my life." Shinji said, continuing before she interrupted, "And I never knew that girls liked me at school, I was just surprised Rei."

"And why were you embarrassed of our relationship?" She asked, her doubts obviously still very evident.

"Rei, I…" Shinji paused, trying to word this right, "I didn't want to show it because they just tease Rei. I'm not ashamed to be with you Rei" Ayanami raised an eyebrow at the response but Shinji continued, "I would rather go without the teasing and stares."

Rei still had the same expression, although slightly lighter. "What of Kojima? Am I not suitable for-" Rei was interrupted by Shinji's lips. Rei at first was shocked, but closed her eyes as he felt he slipped his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, a small "mmm" escaping her lips as they kissed.

Shinji didn't know what to do to calm her down, so he went with whatever he thought of first. He went for a kiss. He hoped this would show her he liked her. Besides, how could he come up with an excuse for looking at Kasuki without hurting Rei? Comparing them was like comparing Hikari to Misato.

However, what had been a last ditch effort turned into something else, something deeper. He leaned on the kiss more, which made Rei fall backwards on the grass. They parted but began a new kiss, this time Rei's mouth was slightly open, and Shinji's tongue begged for entry. Rei complied. They both moaned at the kiss, before parting.

Shinji looked at Rei, amazed at what had just happened. He had no idea how he had done that. He looked at her, the expression gone from her face. He lied down beside her, looking at her.

"Rei, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings" He said, his hand reaching out for hers.

"No Shinji, I am sorry for doubting and misinterpreting you" She added, giving a slight squeeze on his hand. She snuggled closer, paying no attention to the grass. They remained that way for some time, before Shinji asked.

"Rei, would you like to come over tomorrow?"

Rei smiled slightly and nodded. She stood up, Shinji followed, knowing she had to leave. Rei turned to him, but Shinji didn't need Arael to tell him what to do.

He kissed her again…

* * *

Alas, the evening continued, and the time for measure was abandoned. It was about 6 or 7 or some other number in the afternoon, but only Maya remained slightly sober, enjoying the occasional drink. Ritsuko, Hyuga, Makoto and Misato we're enjoying themselves on the karaoke machine. Maya amused herself as they tried to sing the songs, with horrible results. It was rather funny to see her sempai do something ridiculous.

"Hello Maya!" said a merry voice, as Misato stumbled to the chair in front of Maya's.

"Hello Miss Katsura-"

"Maya, Maya, call me Misato" She corrected, the liquor having very obvious effects on her. "You need to lighten up!"

Maya was uncomfortable; she always was with people that were drunk. Since she rarely herself got drunk, she wasn't use to be around people that were. She didn't go out much, her work having a noticeable effect on her free time. She was glad for the opportunity to be with her friends, a rarity considering their jobs.

Misato composed herself a bit, and stopped slurring to ask Maya, "Maya," she began pointing at the person in question, "Have you ever had feelings or urges for someone you shouldn't have?"

Maya gasped and recoiled sharply at the question. _Am I that obvious?_ She admitted to herself that she felt something for her sempai, but whether these were real feelings were beyond her. She told herself that it was just admiration, but sometimes…

"Well Maya?" urged the drunken Misato.

Maya blushed furiously, "Misato, why are you asking me?"

Misato continued to half-slur her responses, "Oh, its just I need an opinion Maya. Don't worry, this stays between us!"

Maya was debating what to say, she was evidently drunk, and probably wouldn't remember this. Besides, Misato seemed to have good intentions…

"Well… yes Misato I have…" She lowered her head a bit to cover her blush.

"And what did you do?" asked Misato, speaking as if she were singing to a tune.

"Well…It depends on what is going on…but if it doesn't go away, you should tell the person, or even express it" Maya lifted up her head, talking to herself more than answering Misato's question

"But what if there are differences?" Continued Misato, laying her head on the table.

"If the other person shares the feelings…then it doesn't matter." Continued Maya, amazed at what she was saying, "Besides, it's better to know than to wonder…"

"Maya, that is a really good-"

Misato was interrupted by the crash coming from the karaoke machine.

_Okay time to go_ thought Maya.

* * *

Shinji had returned home and did nothing in particular. He did his homework, getting that out of the way, ate, and had spent the rest of the time talking to Arael.

_Arael, through that entire thing with Rei, you barely said a thing…_

_**Yes.**_

_Well, I could have used a little help…_

**_Berserker, look back and examine the situation. You performed well, and managed to do it without my aid. You will learn to interact with the Ayanami girl better from this._**

Shinji was surprised at the excuse, and at the fact it made sense. Besides, if he needed help, he was sure Arael would help… Hopefully.

His debating was interrupted by a knock on the door; Shinji went to see who it was through the peephole. He saw two figures, one carrying the other. One was Maya; he didn't have to guess who the other was...

"Hello Maya," He said while opening the door, finally seeing a drunken Misato draped over Maya, straining to carry her.

"Shinji… little help..?"

Shinji went to put Misato's left arm over his shoulder, as Maya finally stood up and relaxed. She was catching her breath as she asked, "Shinji, I need to take the others back to their place… so can you?"

"Yeah, I'll take care of her…" he answered, wondering if Misato was even conscious.

"Thanks" she said, waving goodbye she disappeared into the stairs.

Shinji slowly made his way to Misato's room, trying to not lose balance on the way. Halfway there, she began to stir. "Shinji…?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah it's me Misato" he answered, hoping she wouldn't throw up. She moved her head a little, trying to get some footing and balance. She couldn't, but Shinji caught her, and continued taking her to her bed. He opened the door to her room, and slowly dodged the dirty clothes to her bed.

"Shinji…you take such good care of me…" she said, half of it mumbled, but Shinji heard it well enough.

He was at her bed, but tripped and fell on to it Misato following. He was somehow under her, on his back. Misato was on top of him, her head on his shoulder. Shinji cursed himself for tripping, and was about to stand up, but Misato was coming to. She held on to him, forcing him not to move. Shinji was wondering what was going on until.

"Shinji...I never show you my appreciation… for helping me so much…" Misato raised her head to look at a bewildered Shinji. She soon closed the distance between their lips, to Shinji's amazement. At first he tried to get her off, but her hands reached for his head to caress him. The feeling of her breasts on his chest, her lips on his, her hand on his cheek; defeated him. He put his hands around her lower back. Soon her tongue gained entry to his mouth, deepening the moment. Shinji moaned, as their hips grinded together.

Something was wrong though, soon Shinji noticed she had fallen asleep on him. Shinji was disgusted with himself, as he got out from under her. He didn't dare move her; he just went to his room. He couldn't even stop himself from tacking advantage of his drunken guardian, how could he date Rei?

As he reached his bed, he fell on it. The impact on his sheets did nothing to better the situation, but only one thought passed Shinji's mind…

_I'm so fucked up…_

* * *

There was a sole figure standing under the only light in the vast darkness. Mana Kirishima, the fifth child, was looking straight forward. She was fourteen, and she lacked neither looks nor smarts. Brown hair to her lower neck, and well developed body were her traits. She was summoned by SEELE to make her objective clear, and was simply waiting for them to speak.

"Kirishima" finally came the voice.

"Yes sir?"

"You are aware you are being transported to NERV by the end of this week"

"Yes" she said, being briefed on it a few days ago.

"Do you have any questions?"

"One, sir. Will I be accompanied by my Eva?" she asked something that hadn't been specified in the briefing.

"Not immediately, It will be sent a few days after your arrival."

She nodded, and asked, "What am I to do until then?"

"You are to socialize with the rest of the pilots, learn information... Anything for the sake of the main objective. Any means necessary"

She nodded, that was what she had planned all along, but also wanted to be clear on all matters. She understood what they meant by ANY means necessary. She would have to exploit others or herself...

"You are aware of the main objective?"

She nodded.

"State it please."

"Kill Gendo Ikari"

* * *

AN: TA DA it's been, woah wait, how long? Are you shitting me?! Well… in my defense I can say I had one less week of spring break than most of you!

As for the three weeks before that.. Umm well… shit!

Ok in all honesty, it was writers block and homework. However I can promise a new chapter soon! How soon is up to debate. A week maybe. MAYBE!

So hows everyone liking the story? Good? Bad? Horrifyingly evil? If so, tell me why. Leave a review. I tend to get in much better spirits to write with more reviews.

As for my Proofreaders, I must apologies to J says no. I put this up before he could respond and read my story. Sorry J, but I didn't want to keep the fans waiting another day! As for Saturn, I feel honerd that I proof his story as he proofs mine. I wish I could help him as much as he helps me though.

Well, everyone take care, not even schools are safe anymore! (More than 30! Man, that is a shitload for a school shooting!) I just hope they don't blame videogames.

Well peace all, leave me questions if you have em!

-Squirrel


	13. Thinking Clearly

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, have a Mexican peanut.

CHAPTER 13: Thinking Clearly

Shinji opened his eyes slowly; a noise awakening him from his slumber. It wasn't the familiar beeping of his alarm clock, but a slight humming. He couldn't really tell where it was coming from. He propped himself up with his arms, looking for where it could be coming from. When he couldn't find anything, he realized the noise was very close by. Then he decided to ask.

_Arael, are you humming?_

The humming stopped before he got his response.

_**Did it disturb you human?**_

_Wha…? No, it's just, I was surprised is all…_

Shinji shook his head, shaking himself awake. The humming continued a few seconds later. Shinji stopped for a minute, listening closely. It was calming, soothing, and unnerving to him. It was human.

Shinji finally left his bed, and looked at the clock. It was still a bit early, but it was Sunday; so it gave him the opportunity to start breakfast. He went to get started on it, and found himself enjoying the hum. He continued to make breakfast to this angelic sound.

* * *

Misato laid a mess on her bed, much like the rest of the room. Underwear and clothes were spread in piles all over the room, making walking in the room a chore. The purple-hair figure stirred slowly, waking from her drunken slumber.

"Urrghaaaahuhhhh…" groaned Misato. Not only did she wake up with a hangover the size of an Eva, she was sore too. She vaguely remembered what had happened; she was still in her shirt and shorts from last night. She tried moving, but a stinging sensation was all over her entire body.

_Ugh…fuck my ass, what the hell happened last night?_ She told herself. Her body was on the bed, but from her thigh down she was hanging on the edge of it. She turned herself over, lessening the pain. She sat up on the bed, rubbing her forehead.

_Ugh…_ she groaned _Okay, retrace steps, what happened yesterday…? Okay, we drank at the bar, Maya carried me here, Shinji took me to my bed and…_

She stopped…

_Oh no…_

She recalled what had happened…she had kissed him, and-

_No, no, just forget it…just…oh god what's wrong with me…?_

* * *

Rei stirred slightly, the sun once again waking her up. She immediately stretched her arms, the sheets falling from her exposed breasts. She stayed in her bed for a while, looking at her desolate room. It was always this way; the only difference now was that there was less trash, and a full closet. She now appreciated what the major had done for her; Rei noticed Shinji saw her differently with different clothes. She sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating what would happen today.

_Time with Shinji…alone…_

She smiled; she was hoping they could be together more often. After the misunderstanding before, she hoped they could repeat the experience. Perhaps…they would go further. For a moment, Rei wondered what it would be like to be touched by caring hands…

* * *

Mana Kirishima blinked, waking up from her sleep. She sat up on her bed, wide-awake. She always woke up fairly early, and never needed an alarm. She looked at her mostly empty room. It was cold, with a concrete floor and walls. There was a wooden desk and chair, scattered on the desk were files and other documents. There was a dresser where she kept what little clothes she had, with photos very dear to her on top of it.

She raised her knees to her chest, clutching the sheets for warmth. She is a beautiful young woman, but doesn't flaunt it or reveal herself excessively. Her beauty was the last thing on her mind; it was where she would soon be going.

She didn't show it, but she was afraid and nervous. She still remembered what part of the file suggested…

_If it benefits the objective, exploit yourself to any one of the pilots._

"Any means necessary…" she told herself quietly. Her hand went down to her waist, whimpering slightly at the idea. Offering herself intimately and the last part was what affected her the most. Any one of the pilots…that meant Ayanami and Soryu as well…

She was having second thoughts, worried what it would take to fulfill the objective. She got out from the bed, revealing the sleeveless shirt and short shorts she was wearing. She shuddered as her feet touched the cold concrete, as she made her way to the dresser. She picked up one of the photos on top of it, and held it close to her heart.

"I'll make that bastard pay…" She whispered silently.

* * *

Shinji was almost done with breakfast, and started to set up the table. He had enjoyed Arael's humming, finding it to be almost hypnotic. Curiosity encouraged him to ask.

_Arael…why are you humming?_

_**Berserker, I can control emotions and actions. Read thoughts, and cause pain. Yet I am always more efficient while singing. I can perform these to a soothing noise, or…**_

Shinji didn't need him to keep going; he remembered the music while Asuka was being attacked. He finished setting the table and turned off the stove.

_Why were you singing right now though?_

_**I enjoy it, it is soothing…**_

Shinji was surprised at the almost human response. He raised his head as the silence was interrupted by Misato opening her screen. Shinji blinked, finally remembering what had happened last night. Shinji started blushing and tried to lower his gaze so she wouldn't notice.

Misato was half walking, half dragging herself to the table. She noticed Shinji's blush, and knew exactly why. She was embarrassed of herself; she had seduced him. Even if she was drunk, she couldn't ignore this anymore. Why was she thinking about him?

"Morning Shinji, are those eggs?" she said groggily.

"Yeah, I made some coffee too" he said, his gaze still slightly averted.

Misato immediately went to get the miracle elixir, and served herself a cup. It was extremely hot, but she drank from the cup anyway; thanking the gods for the relief. Shinji was amazed; he had seen her with a hangover before, but never like this.

"Misato…how much did you drink last night?"

Misato bowed her head slightly in shame; even she thought shed had too much to drink last night. She sighed while rubbing her temple, still felling the hangover. She could take the hangover, but what she did last night while dru-

_No, no, just…_ She tried telling herself, but her words sounded empty even to her.

"More than I should have Shinji," she said, distracting herself from her inner thoughts, "I must have been a mess." She took another sip of coffee, before asking, "Hopefully I didn't do anything embarrassing?" She looked at Shinji, hoping he didn't remember or take what happened last night seriously. Unfortunately, she didn't get the response she had hoped for.

Shinji froze when she asked the question. Misato didn't see his face, but didn't need to see it to know. Shinji swallowed, wondering what to answer.

"Not here, unless you did something embarrassing before you got here…" Shinji couldn't keep a straight tone, and his voice broke up a bit. He was trying to lie.

Misato looked at the now empty mug, looking for a something to change the air of the conversation. She struck gold when she remembered the conversation she had had with Ritsuko.

"Shinji, there's something you should know" she said, Shinji gulped, he hoped she didn't remember.

"The Fifth child is arriving next week." Shinji sighed and lowered his head, relieved by the fact that she apparently didn't remember. At the same time surprised by the information. Will the last two angels be that powerful?

"Who is it?" he asked, not sure if it was a guy or a girl.

"Her name's Mana Kirishima, and she's 15"

Shinji sighed, another young person thrown into this mess. He then remembered that he had invited Rei over today. He was going to tell her, until he remembered about breakfast. He served the food, and both soon began to eat it in an eerie silence.

"Misato, I invited Rei to come over later today…." He said out of the blue, looking at his food to evade contact, "Is that ok?"

"Sure Shinji, I'll even leave you two alone" She said, thankful for an out. She didn't want the awkwardness in the air to last the entire day. Now she just needed for something to fill that time gap.

They both finished, both trying to ignore what had happened. Shinji cleaned up, and Misato went back to her room. Shinji went to his room as well, as soon as he closed the door, he emitted a sigh of relief. He hoped this was eventually over with and forgotten, he just couldn't take this.

The ordeal with Misato wasn't the only thing on his mind, the Fifth… Someone else to be dragged in by this… Would she end up like Toji? Or like Asuka? He just couldn't bear it, especially after that one though he had…

_Another corpse…_

He exhaled; too much was going on too quickly. He needed to stop and think, about everything. He was even going to meet up with Rei today; he didn't want to call it off. Maybe he should just go somewhere, somewhere quiet to think. Shinji didn't bother asking Arael, he would talk with the angel when he was there. Where though?

_**Human, could you not simply do that here?**_

Shinji snapped from his inner thought, he forgot the angel heard him either way.

_Well, yes, but I need to go somewhere more…private…_

_**Human, you need to compose yourself, simply because you are uncomfortable with you guardian does not mean you must re-access you entire life. **_

Shinji sat there, wondering what to do.

_No Arael, Too much has happened to me in only a few days. I need to just…think about it all for a little while. _

_**Hopefully for the last time…**_

Shinji knew Arael didn't like this, he didn't bother asking but it must be annoying. He might as well do this before his date with Rei. Where though? The lookout point? He considered it, but then dismissed it. He had an idea; maybe he should visit Asuka again?

_**Human, speaking to her will make no difference. **_

Shinji ignored him; he had made up his mind. Besides, at least he would have privacy there. He stood up, thinking of what he would wear; his cell ringing interrupted his thoughts. His heart always stopped for a second at the sound, he was in no condition for an angel attack.

To his relief it was Rei, he answered it. "Hello Rei"

"Hello Shinji, are you well?" she asked, her tone slightly warmer than usual.

"Yeah Rei, I'm fine, how are you?" he asked, hoping she wouldn't ask where he was going.

"Unchanged" Shinji sighed; she was improving, but it was still hard to tell at times.

"Shinji," Shinji snapped, focusing again, "I was wondering at what hour I should arrive?" Shinji thought about it, and then guessed a number.

"I think five is good Rei, how about dinner and a movie here?" he asked as he started to rummage his closet for clothes.

A small "mmm" escaped Rei's lips before saying, "Why not sooner Shinji?"

Shinji thought about what to say, then, "I'm going to NERV Rei, then I'm gonna get groceries and a movie."

"Are you having a test Shinji?" she asked, with the intention of asking if she could go with him.

"No, Rei…" He said, slapping himself on the forehead. Rei wasn't stupid; she was going to figure it out.

"Then what is the purpose of your trip?" She asked, doubt replacing curiosity. She may not be experienced socially, but that did not mean she lacked intelligence. Why would Shinji not tell her what was the matter, why would he be going to NERV for?

Shinji was trying to come up with a convincible excuse, but came up blank. He considered telling her the truth, but threw that idea out the window after her reaction yesterday. Rei was going to ge-

"Shinji…Are you visiting Souryu?" She asked, in almost a whisper.

Shinji froze; she had figured it out. He simply stood there, holding the phone to his ear. There was silence, a long silence. It seemed to last forever. He wanted to say something, to lie, to explain, but he didn't. Soon she broke the silence once more.

"…I will see you at 5 Shinji…" then a click.

Shinji dropped the phone on the bed as he fell on it, waiting for it all to sink in. Soon he remembered something that could have helped.

_Arael, why didn't you do anything?_

_**I am not a machine human; I do not work through wires.**_

* * *

Shinji had arrived at Asuka's room a few minutes ago. She was very much the same, although he barely noticed. He was sitting on a chair next to the bed; his head hanging low. He had left the house after composing himself, not even bothering to say bye to Misato. He walked here in a daze of pity and depression; he was scared shit-less and nervous.

Three, the number of times he called. The number of times she didn't answer. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know if this was over. Shinji couldn't get it out of his head, she sounded hurt when she said she would meet him at five.

_**Berserker, are you going to prolong this more than you need to?**_

He lifted his head, confused by the question. Arael, upon noticing the child was not aware of what he was talking about, elaborated.

_**You came here to clear your mind, delay no further. I am present**_.

_Wha-_ asked a stupefied Shinji. He had forgotten why he had come here in the first place. To decompose, to just figure things out, that was before…

_**Human, is Ayanami your entire life? Clear other things. You are already here. **_

Shinji rubbed his temple; he couldn't get his head straight. Arael groaned, before beginning the discussion.

_**Lets start with you're guardian Berserker, proceed.**_

Shinji sighed; it was obvious Arael wanted this to end as quickly as possible. Shinji decided to comply; it would at least calm him down about other things.

Misato, god she was a mess recently; not without reason though. She was mourning Kaji, he hadn't heard the message he left, but judging from her reaction he could hazard a guess. She told him Kaji died when he was consoling her, then she kissed him. She said it was because of the moment, and he believed her. Then there was that talk they had yesterday. He liked helping her, like she helped him. Almost like family.

Then there were the moments where she wasn't family, where he saw her in a different light. He shuddered slightly at the occurrences, the dream, the incident last night, the way he always stared at her. He was getting bolder now, he recalled the time when he was going to lift up her skirt.

What did he see her as? A sibling? A friend? Or…? He didn't dare think it. Was she just an object to him, even after everything they had been through? Then came the bigger question…

_Do I like her?_

He pondered it, and knew that it was in some way true. He inhaled sharply at his answer. Why? He didn't know for sure. Was it because she was attractive? Or was it emotional? He knew two things however, he liked Rei more was the first. The second was that she was twice his age, and that closed the matter. He knew he was just ignoring the problem, but he blamed it all on hormones, which fit in pretty nicely.

He sighed, that's one problem, what's next?

He looked at the bed, and knew the next one. Asuka. He missed her. Regardless of everything she had done, he missed her. He had risked his life to save her; but that wasn't enough. It hurt him; she was doing this to herself. He knew why she was like this; he just…didn't want her to be like this.

Why did he care for her? Why did he still like her? She had never been nice to him; she always teased and insulted him. She didn't like him, he learned that recently. Yet here he was. Still visiting her, still liking her. He was even jeopardizing his relationship with Rei at this point. Why was he doing this?

He looked at her, the mess she was. Nothing like the beautiful girl he had once known. While he liked her appearance, that couldn't be it…Or maybe it was. Was it just that he admired her, respected her? Or was it something more? He had one big question on his mind, if she were conscious; would he have still chosen to date Rei?

Shinji then remembered that it was Rei who had actually made the first move. Even if Asuka had begun to like him, she would be too proud to admit it. He liked her, but he realized it was more about her appearance than he thought. As she was before, she would never allow herself to like him…

Arael was chuckling to himself as he saw Shinji struggle to come to terms with things. On both accounts, he had been lying to himself. Simply ignoring the problems would not make them go away; Arael knew that in time they would re-appear.

Shinji now leaned closer to Asuka's bed, convinced with his answer. He rested his upper body and head on the bed, a few inches from Asuka. He raised his head to get a better look at her. The sheets weren't on her, and the gown barely covered anything. Her chest was almost completely revealed, and her legs were visible almost up to the thigh. His breathing quickened slightly, as this took effect on his body. He swallowed as his hand un-noticeably crept to her leg. As his fingers grazed the skin of her thigh he shivered, so soft. He recalled that patients don't have underwear under their gowns…

_Oh god!_

Shinji reeled back; he did not just think that. Had he really considered…taking advantage of her?

_I'm so fucked up, I'm so fucked up_ he continued to tell himself. What was wrong with him? Couldn't he even keep his hormones in control? It was happening too often lately, he continued to just see them as… He just didn't want to be like this. What would happen if he lost control, slipped for a moment? He didn't want to picture the consequences. He knew he was teenager, but this was something else…

He got closer and adjusted her gown. He pulled it down near her legs, and covered her chest carefully. She shouldn't have to look like this. He leaned back on his chair and simply sat there for a while. He left when his stomach announced itself.

* * *

"How fucking much?!" Screamed the top Engineer NASA had, Michael Avon, not before spitting the coffee he had been drinking all over the table and partly on Lance.

"All of our debts, and I saw the numbers" answered Tyler, wiping some of the coffee of his face. Normally he would scream at what happened, but it was understandable. Michael coughed a little as he set down his coffee, and sat down in a chair.

"You have GOT to be shitting me…" said Avon, not believing his boss. Their debt was assimilated more with infinity than an actual number. Tyler took a seat, and then explained the entire project they had just taken. When he finished, he leaned back and waiting for Michael's opinion.

"How soon do we have to do this?" asked Michael, calculating manpower, resources, and numbers they would need.

"In a few weeks, but here's the surprise," began Tyler, looking around to check for people before saying, "Success isn't required." Michael jumped at the words.

"What? Is NERV swimming in cash to take this big a risk?"

"Apparently," said Lance, picking up Michael's coffee and took a sip, "So quick question, can we do this without losing the shuttle?"

Michael exhaled and leaned his head on the back of the chair, "I think so, but we're gonna need to put pretty much everyone on overtime. Not that they'll mind, I'm sure they'll be happy to know they still have their jobs." He looked at Lance and added, "We're probably gonna need to rehire almost everyone too."

Tyler nodded, he was glad they could handle it. He had to put his feelings of NERV aside, this was a golden chance and they needed to take it.

"Let's just hope that thing isn't too heavy for the shuttle" sighed Michael.

* * *

Shinji was now walking home, a grocery bag in one hand, a movie in the other. He almost didn't bother; he was almost expecting this to be over. He had cleared a few more things before leaving for food, buying groceries, and finding a movie. In a way he was relieved, he had settled some matters, but the looming event was almost oblivious to him. He knew he was going to be a wreck, but right now he held on to one thing. Hope.

He had decided one thing, he liked Rei. That was all that needed to be said. No need to risk the relationship, he wanted to stay with her. If she would listen, he would clear up his feelings. He would make it clear he was interested in only her.

He arrived at Misato's apartment building at about five; he didn't bother to check the time. He got in the elevator, smelling the vegetables on the groceries. The elevator seemed to be going at a painfully slow rate. As it the doors opened with a ding, he walked slowly to the apartment. He got to the door and opened it, maybe cooking would distract him. What he saw inside was unexpected though.

There, sitting on the couch in living room, was Rei. The TV was on, Pen-Pen nearby watching it. The two teens exchanged looks, Shinji's of utter surprise. When Pen-Pen noticed this, he slowly waddled to his fridge. Shinji gulped, as Rei continued to sit there unchanged.

She was sitting on the big couch in front of TV. She was once again wearing more casual clothes, just some jeans and a black blouse. She sat there, looking at Shinji with her usual expression. This unnerved the boy; he couldn't tell how she felt. Shinji almost dropped the bags as a voice interrupted.

_**There is hope yet, Berserker.**_

_What?_ He asked, not understanding what that meant. Soon however, Rei finally spoke.

"Hello Shinji," She said, her voice lacking emotion, "Are you well?"

Shinji was momentarily stunned at what had just happened, he put the bags down before finally saying, "Wha- um, I'm fine Rei, thanks for asking" He was trying to figure what was going on, and decided on the first question that came to him. "Rei, how did you get in?"

"The Major was still here when I arrived, and she let me in before leaving" She answered. She looked at him, noticing his confused look, and motioned at the seat next to her.

Shinji understood, and took a seat on the couch next to her nervously. She turned to him, as she lifted her legs up on the couch. Shinji tried to look for anything that could tell him how she felt, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Again, he was startled.

_**Relax human, and listen. **_

"How is Souryu?" asked the girl in front of him. She sat cross-legged in front of him, a slight tone of fear in her voice.

"Sh-She's the same Rei…" he answered, confused of what was going on. What did Arael mean? He was going to ask what he meant but then.

"Your concern for the second child is admirable, however I believe there is another reason that you wished to visit her…alone. Correct?" Her voice had a hint of something too subtle for him to pick up.

Shinji nodded almost automatically, she picked up a lie before, no use in trying again. Besides, he might as well be honest, "Yes Rei, there was…" He paused, looking to see if she was going to say anything. She continued to look at him; he noticed a small tinge of fear in her expression, but not much else.

"Rei I went to…clear my mind a little," Rei was going to ask something before Shinji continued, "Too much has happened in the last few days Rei… I almost died; I stared dating you, Toji, Asuka…" He stopped himself before mentioning what had happened with Misato, but he hoped she would understand.

Rei watched as Shinji chocked back a tear, she wondered what to do. He was obviously nervous and afraid, so was she. She didn't know what to do… Shinji looked at her; she was as confused as he was.

_**Hold her. **_

He didn't react to Arael, he just did it. He got closer to her, and put his arms around her. She leaned in, resting her head on his left shoulder. Shinji leaned back to the edge of the couch; Rei was practically lying on him. She was sitting on his lap, her legs on the couch. Shinji put his arms around her stomach, as Rei held his hand.

Shinji breathed deeply, trying to ignore the beauty lying almost completely on top of him. He didn't want to…discomfort her. Rei looked up to meet his eyes, much more relaxed than before.

"Shinji…I understand your need for privacy. I too, have times when I must consider my actions and feelings… I felt what I have come to believe is jealousy, rejection and sadness when you did not wish to spend the day with me. I also wonder if I was being selfish."

Shinji looked at her crimson eyes. "No Rei you weren't being selfish… I'm sorry if I made you feel that way by going to visit Asuka." He held her a little tighter, as if he might lose her.

"Shinji," Rei began, "Do you have feelings for Soryu?" she nuzzled a little closer, "You may discuss your feelings with me without fear of being judged. I too need someone to talk to and I would like for that person to be you."

Shinji blushed a little as he turned his head to another direction, "Ye-yes Rei… I had feelings for her…"

"And now?" she asked, holding his hand.

"Not anymore Rei…" he said, "Rei I like you…and I want this to keep going." Rei smiled at him, a small tinge of a tear in her eyes.

"I would as well Shinji" Shinji looked at her, she was smiling, such a rare thing. Rei closed the distance for a kiss, catching Shinji by surprise but only for a moment. They parted quickly and they both looked at each other. Shinji then remembered he had brought a movie.

"Umm, Rei?" he stuttered, "I brought a movie, if you would like to watch that before diner?"

"I do not have an appetite yet, perhaps we should watch the movie." She said, having no desire to leave the comfort she has found.

She sat back up while Shinji put in the movie, it was romance. When Shinji returned she reassumed her position, her back on his chest, while her legs were sprawled on the rest of the couch. Shinji was leaning on the right edge of the couch, his legs off it. Shinji's right hand was at her side, while his left was on her stomach. She held his right hand, while her left hand was on her legs.

The movie played on, it was about a young couple in Osaka. They watched the movie, as Rei nuzzled closer to Shinji. Shinji tried to concentrate on other things, lest his body react and discomfort Rei. This was difficult, since from his higher viewpoint he could see into her blouse.

Soon, Shinji was unconsciously moving the hand that was on her stomach. He was moving it on circles, his fingers grazing the fabric. Shinji didn't notice at first, but Rei was enjoying this. She would breathe deeply at this, enjoying the touch. Shinji finally noticed the effect he was having on her as she inhaled sharply and shuddered slightly. He thought he was disturbing her, and was going to stop until a voice corrected him.

_**She is enjoying this.**_

With this, Shinji continued. He kept moving his hand in circles, watching her closing her eyes and exhale. Soon she did something unexpected though. Her left hand took his, and she guided it under her blouse. Shinji held his breathe, as she continued to guide his hand on her bare stomach. His fingers tracing over her soft, smooth skin; Rei exhaled sharply and arched her back very slightly.

Shinji couldn't believe what had just happened, as Rei continued this he exhaled as well. He looked down towards her again, getting the same view of her chest. Something surprised him though, Rei was blushing furiously. She really was enjoying this small contact. He decided to continue without her help, and touched her stomach and navel slowly. The couple had lost track of the movie, intoxicated on the moment.

Rei took his left hand, as she turned her body slightly. She looked at him, he was blushing as well. She craned her neck to kiss him, and he replied. She completely turned herself, her chest on his. Her hands were on his head and neck, as she leaned in more to deepen the kiss. Shinji wrapped his arms on her lower back, as his tongue met hers. They parted the kiss and immediately began another.

Her breasts were pressed on his chest, her hips on his. Rei felt a bulge, but ignore it, knowing it was a natural reaction. They were grinding against each other, both teens filled with hormones. Their kisses deepened, and soon neither was able to reason very well. Shinji's hand parted her hair, and massaged her back, soliciting a moan from her. Her hands were coming to remove her blouse before a ringing began.

Both teens parted at the sound, waiting for the blood flow to return to their heads. They were both breathing deeply, and soon Rei sat normally. Soon they recognized it was a cell phone, Shinji looked at Rei as if asking if it was hers. He got an answer when she stood up and went towards the table. She picked something up from the table, and then put it next to her ear.

Shinji listened in to her part of the conversation, which wasn't much.

"Yes, sir…Now, sir?...Is it necessary, sir?...No, sir, I will be there…"She turned to see Shinji, with a look of sadness and disappointment. He understood what was going on, and just said as he stood up from the couch.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school Rei?"

"Yes, Shinji." She answered, "I am…sorry we could not continue…"

Shinji got closer to Rei and hugged her, "It's ok, there's nothing you can do." He leaned back look at her, "See you at school?" She nodded and kissed him one last time on the lips. Rei cut it short, and walked out of the apartment shortly after.

Shinji stood for a few seconds, then went to the couch and sat. He was digesting everything that had just happened, until he noticed the TV. The credits of the movie were rolling.

_Holy shit, were we-_

_**Kissing for two hours? More like one really, it was a short film.**_

_A-and before the phone rang, was she about to__**- **_

_**Remove her blouse? Yes she was.**_

_Holy-_

_**Crap?**_

Shinji shook his head a little, he was still wasn't used to another voice finishing his thoughts. God, they had really gone at it. To think he barely kissed her two days ago. They were going fast, today she was almost gonna take off part of her clothes.

Wait…was he complaining?

Ugh, solve some problems, new ones pop out. He rubbed his forehead; he'll think about this later, he was hungry.

Arael looked at the young teen as he started making himself some dinner, was it really this being the one that had destroyed so many of his brothers and sisters? Arael truly couldn't believe it. Despite this, Arael analyzed everything that had happened so far. Things were progressing, and the child was calmer now. Arael waited for the next two events. One was sister Arimisael. The other was the fifth. What will happen? Again Arael would have to be patient.

Ever patient...

* * *

AN: DUN DUN DU DU DUN!!!!!!!

My fans, if any remain, I AM COME !!!

Yay!

So first of all, it's been 3 months, yeah sorry about that. Somewhere along that line was the one year anniversary of my story. Which only says one thing: I am a lazy fuck.

As forgiveness, I made this extra long chapter! Plus the next chapter MIGTH have a surprise.

So this chapter had a shitload of shit in it huh? Well I hope you guys like it. If any remain… I reintroduced the NASA thing I started on the Seventh chapter, hopefully you guys still remember?

So my story continues, largely trough the hell of Saturn, o how he helps me. Some big thanks for some dialog assist on the make up scene.

FORESHADOWING!!! It's what I do, what will happen next? I dunno, hopefully I'll just take a few weeks this time though…

Squirrel


	14. Understanding

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, have a Mexican peanut.

CHAPTER 14: Understanding

Misato lay on an unfamiliar bed, the sheets partly covering her bare body. A fan whirled above; creating a small, pleasant breeze that passed over her. She turned to face the right end of the bed; she saw some clothes and underwear strewn about. Some she recognized as hers, others were not. She turned to ceiling, trying to remember what had happened last night. She didn't feel a headache, and she was strangely relaxed. She was going to sit up on the bed before she felt movement on her left.

_Ohhh…_She thought, finally remembering. She turned her head left to see a man sleeping, his nudity also being covered by the sheets. Misato recalled now, sitting up on the bed. The sheets were going to slide off her chest, but she clung on to them to remain covered. She felt a slight soreness in her thighs, and sighed. _You'd think it'd get easier with age_ she thought.

She had left her apartment after letting Rei in, and went straight to a bar. At first, just to drink and debate the entire Shinji situation. After a few beers, she had come to the conclusion that she was horny. Following this epiphany, she proceeded to sleep with the next living thing that hit on her. This was the result. She couldn't really remember how it went; only remembering her cries of passion in the night.

She didn't feel right. Misato couldn't put her finger on it but it was something. She felt a rustling on her right as he woke up. He blinked a little before turning to face her. She didn't recognize him; he was brown haired and well built. He looked at her, a smile on his face. He didn't need to say anything; Misato knew he was asking 'again?' She debated; on one hand she was still horny. On the other, this was her first day back since she had been suspended. Finally a thought rang through her head, as she smiled at him seductively.

_Fuck it, if I'm going to be late for work…_

* * *

Shinji again woke up to the sound of Arael's humming. He blinked a few times, letting his eyes get used to light entering from the blinds. He yawned and stretched like a cat; the sheets almost sliding off the bed. He looked around, scanning for the alarm. When he found it, it said 5: 58 He reached to deactivate the machine before it began its annoying chirping.

_Thanks for waking me; I prefer you're humming to the alarm. _

_**You are not the only one that detests that contraption.**_

Shinji chuckled at Arael's almost human humor. He got up and headed for the door, his stomach beckoned. The headaches weren't that bad anymore, so his hunger was priority. It had been a while, but he was still eating for two. He shuddered, that sounded like he was pregnant. He made some toast and served himself some milk; he didn't have a caffeine addiction like Misato.

Speaking of…where was she? He froze, realizing he had come out with only boxers and an undershirt. He hoped she didn't come out, lest the teasing begin.

_**She is not in the vicinity Berserker, you may remain relaxed.**_

Shinji raised an eyebrow; he wasn't used to getting this information. He relaxed at first, but then wondered _Wait, so she already left for work? This is unusually early for her._

_**No human, I never sensed her arriving in the first place. **_

Shinji took his toast and began eating it, not bothering with a plate. _Did she pull an all nighter at NERV? No, no, she had been suspended until today…_

He finished his toast an immediately went for the other piece, wolfing it down just as quickly. He then considered the option that maybe she had slept somewhere else. He tried not to let his mind wander into other images, but it made sense. It wasn't the first time this has happened, it just hadn't happened lately.

Shinji finished his milk and emitted another yawn. He had slept plenty, but he was still slightly tired _Arael, any ideas when you're side effects on my body will wear off?_

_**They will always remain. They may dull or sharpen depending how active my powers are, but they will never disappear.**_

_Great_ he answered sarcastically. Rubbing his forehead; he headed to his room to change.

* * *

Shinji changed and left Misato's shortly after changing, he had left a pot of coffee in case she came back but he doubted it. His walk to school was the same, along with the stinging every time a truck passed by. He usually thought while walking today was no different.

_Yesterday…_ He thought _I almost got to second base… And we've only been dating for three days!_ The kissing and making out he could take, but the fact she had almost removed part of her clothing was mind-boggling. Was it the moment? Or did she think it was custom? Or did she really want to move that fast?

**Berserker, correct me if I am wrong, but is that not a desirable?**

Shinji stopped walking at that. _What?_

_**I**__**s it not the goal of many your age?**_

_Well um,_ he stuttered, blushing slightly, _Yeah but I don't want to…_

_**Oh what is it now**__**, Berserker?**_

_I don't want to go that fast…_ he said. He knew if any teenager heard that, they would have punched him and called him an idiot. But he really meant that. He had no experience, and didn't even know if this was standard procedure. Not that this meant that he didn't want to get physical…he just wanted to go slow and show her respect.

Shinji groaned, he would tell her…somehow.

* * *

The classroom was busier than usual, many people were talking in groups. School girls giggled, and school boys teased. In this classroom, it was as if the angels did not exist. Rumors were passing around, Toji was finally returning from the hospital. However, it was not common knowledge why he had ended up on the hospital before today. When the accident happened, few knew the actual truth. Those that did instantly distanced themselves from one of the two pilots.

Poor Shinji walked into the classroom unaware of the situation. He yawned and stretched, then opened his eyes to meet the stares of the class. Shinji lowered his arms as the students stared at him with malice. Shinji walked to his desk slowly, as some whispered to each other. As he sat down, he found a folded note on his desk. He opened, and wished he hadn't.

Nearly killing his sister wasn't enough asshole?

Shinji sunk his head as some kept staring, others simply talking behind his back. He wanted to correct them, explain, but not when he almost felt the same way. This went on for a few minutes, until Kasuki entered and talked with a group of her friends. Shinji, meanwhile, spoke with Arael.

_So he's coming back to school already?_

_**That is what I can gather.**_

_Why do they… look at me like that?_

_**They are sheep, Berserker. They do not comprehend the situation you were in. They judge as this, but do not**__** thank you for saving them. Lilum are quite strange.**_

Shinji sighed at that. That we were, he was about to ask what lilum meant when Kasuki sat next to him. He sat up abruptly, almost surprised by her being near him. He had gotten used to the idea of perhaps spending the entire day alone. She leaned back on the chair, accentuating her breasts as she spoke.

"I don't judge you that way Ikari, and I won't hang out with my friends until they think differently," She then looked at him, "Which means you're the only one to talk to at the moment." She said with a chuckle.

Shinji chuckled slightly at that, thankful for some kind of human contact. "So," Shinji began, trying to find a topic "Did you study for the test today?" he asked, embarrassed at having resorted to school as a topic.

"It's not my best subject," she said, "But Kensuke helped me study, so I think I'll do ok"

Shinji remembered they had left the picnic on Saturday to go study. He had thought that was just an excuse… "So how'd it go?"

"Oh we were doing fine studying," She began, smiling a little as if trying not to laugh, "Until my heroin crazed ex-boyfriend burst into my room, and punched Kensuke right in the solar plexus."

Shinji's eyes shot open at that. Was she kidding? He couldn't tell since she was laughing now, whether if it was a joke or because it actually happened he didn't know.

_**She speaks the truth Berserker.**_

This elicited a "What?!" from Shinji directed at Arael, although Kasuki answered.

"My ex apparently still had the keys to my place, and thought I had dumped him for Kensuke. After wrenching him off of Kensuke, I told him to get out and that it was over," She puts her hands on the back of her head, "I took back the keys and kick him out."

"How did Kensuke take it?" asked Shinji, worried that is friend might have gotten an injury.

"Not too good," she said with a frown, "My ex was buff, and Kensuke is a twig. He practically collapsed on the ground."

Shinji cringed at the thought of Kensuke getting hit by someone. "So then what happened?"

"Well," She mused, as if saying to thin air, "I said I was sorry about that, and said I'd make it up to him" Then she turned to Shinji with a seductive smile and said, "So I kissed him."

Shinji had jumped at the mentioning of this, and gears in his head immediately went to work to find some way to explain the phenomena. They had been together during the picnic at NERV, but he hadn't thought that to be more than just two friends. Arael said she liked him, and it was pretty obvious Kensuke liked her. Was Kensuke finally getting a girlfriend?

Throughout the entire debate in his mind, he simply got out, "Wh-w-what?"

She sat straight on the desk again, "It was the least I could do, I mean, my ex-boyfriend punched him!" She the looked at Shinji, raising an eyebrow, "What was I gonna say? Oh sorry about that?"

Shinji would have agreed, if Arael hadn't interrupted. _**She simply wanted an excuse to show affection to him without sounding, in her words, "slutty"**_

He was wondering why Arael was being so helpful all of a sudden, before Kasuki changed the subject.

"Anyways," said the beautiful woman in front of him, "How's it going with Rei?"

Shinji wasn't going to bring up the date, but his red cheeks did not help him. Kasuki noticed his blush, and proceeded to smile before saying,

"Ohh, did something naughty did we?"

This did not help Shinji's blush, he wished he could away from teasing women. At home with Misato, and it looks like Kasuki is very much the same. He tried to defend himself and Rei but failed miserably,

"No! We didn't do anything; sh-she just came over."

_Real smooth_ he thought.

"Oh really?" She inched closer to Shinji, with that seductive smile of hers, "Hopefully you used protection?" Kasuki was laughing inside, she knew there was no chance of that actually happening, but this kid was so easy to tease. Always so flustered, it was kinda cute in a way.

Shinji desperately tried to defend his relationship with Rei, but his stutter wasn't helping.

"N-n-no! We just saw a movie!" He breathed easily at that, she couldn't misinterpret that. He was about to relax, but he swore he heard laughing in his head.

"That so?" Asked Kasuki, her smile gone now, "What was it about?" She knew exactly what could happen in these things, and asked the question her friends used on her.

"Umm," began Shinji, trying his best to remember, "It was about a couple in Osaka and uh…"

"Aaaaaand?" she asked, waiting for the rest.

Shinji looked down and cursed himself. His blush became more evident as he said quietly "I can't remember."

Kasuki sat back on the chair, putting a bit of distance between herself and Shinji (Lest more rumors begin to spread). "Nice job Shinji," she said sincerely, before her teasing returned, "How far?"

Shinji kept his head low to avoid her teasing. "Second? Third? Oral?"

Then a light turned on in Shinji's head. He wanted to go slower with Rei, but he didn't know how to break it to her. Kasuki seemed trusting enough, and well, she had experience. He had no idea about this, but he might as well.

"Umm, Kasuki?" he asked, his head still looking down, "Can I ask you a question?"

Kasuki's expression changed from teasing to serious. She got this tone a lot with her friends, a question about the relationship. "Sure Ikari, shoot."

Shinji raised his head to meet her gaze and at first fumbled with the words. He took a deep breath, and when he noticed she had no intention of teasing him, he began. He told her the entire thing. He is already telling her this much, might as well. Through the entire thing, while a few more students arriving into the classroom. He had apparently arrived early than he thought.

When he finished, still blushing, he lowered his head again. It didn't feel right trusting personal experiences to someone else, but he needed help. Kasuki leaned back on the chair again and stretched, accentuating her body. Shinji looked away to not let his imagination wander. Kasuki yawned before saying.

"Well, Ikari," she said, still half yawning, "You're problem is much more common than you think."

This made Shinji look quizzically at her, but she continued, "You felt she was going too fast, and you wanna go slower but don't know how to tell her, am I right?"

Shinji nodded.

"Then tell Rei that. How you feel." She said, "That's usually the problem. Don't make anything up; just tell her what you told me."

This earned another confused look from Shinji, and Kasuki elaborated.

"Shinji, sometimes girls are unsure of the pace of the relationship," she said, feeling awkward for some reason, "Sometimes we think we have to go that fast, sometimes we think that's what you wanted, other times it's just the moment."

She looked around again, noticing there were more students. With this she leaned closer to say it quieter, "So if you tell Rei how you feel, she'll know the limits"

Shinji felt very emasculated at this, "Aren't the girls the one's that set the limits?" Shinji really had no idea what to say or do in these situations, and Arael wasn't talking

"Not always Shinji," she answered, "I've dated plenty of guys that have said they wanted to go slower." She sensed that he felt bad and added, "Look, this doesn't mean she likes to move quickly, she could just be confused. That's why you have to tell her how you feel, and she'll tell you how she feels."

Shinji got it now, like bulb lighting up in his head. "Thanks Kasuki, I'll do that…"

Kasuki smiled, "No problem Ikari, if you have a problem, I'll help ya out." She then added teasingly to relieve the air of seriousness, 'Cause you two just make an adorable couple."

Shinji blushed again, and Kasuki giggled. She thought that he might as well have a sign that said "Tease me" on him. He was too damn easy, and always had the same response: that blush. She was going to continue, but she saw Kensuke come in. She stood up and greeted him, as Shinji watched and continued talking.

_That helped, I just wish I didn't have to go t__hrough the teasing. _

_**I do not mind. I find your struggling humorous. **_

Shinji was annoyed at the response, but couldn't retaliate since Kensuke just sat at the desk next to him. Shinji looked at the freckled boy, finding an odd amount of happiness in his face. Shinji decided to ask, "Why are you so happy?"

"My friend…" he began dreamily, "During this weekend something amazing happened, and something not many get to experience-"

_**Please stop his poetic nonsense.**_

"So her Ex did come in and punch you, and Kasuki kissed you in forgiveness?" he asked, amazed that the story was actually true.

The reaction he got from Kensuke was rather funny. His face changed from sublime to confusion. "How did you know about that?"

"I talked to her for some advice, and she told me the story." When he saw that Kensuke was obviously looking for a compliment he said, "Congratulations I guess…"

Kensuke beamed and basked in his so-called victory. He thought that even if both Toji and Shinji had kissed they're girlfriends; he had definitely kissed a much, much, much more beautiful girl. Unbeknownst to him was that Shinji had indeed gone farther than Kensuke. Kensuke snapped from his moment when he noticed the crumpled piece of paper below the desk he was sitting at. When he read it, he looked at Shinji confused.

"Oh yeah, Toji is coming back today." He began, his tone going low, "Now they think I put him on the hospital on purpose." Shinji didn't feel like talking about it, so he just looked around for a way to distract himself.

"But you didn't have a choice," said Kensuke meekly, but he could tell Shinji wanted this to be left alone. He looked around as well, and his eyes caught Kasuki again. She looked at him as well, and gave him a small smile. Kensuke blushed, but something else caught his eye. Rei had just entered the classroom.

Kensuke nudged Shinji and pointed at the new arrival. He smiled, but it disappeared when he looked at her. Rei looked tired, and she wasn't walking as straight as before. Shinji began standing up, but the teacher entered at that moment with Toji in his wheelchair and Hikari.

The class burst with activity as they surrounded Toji. Shinji sunk his head to avoid some stares, as they welcomed Toji back. The teacher soon broke it up, and Hikari began her usual ritual. Class began, and Shinji wished he were somewhere else.

* * *

Rei sat looking at out the window. She occasionally stole a glance at Shinji, but to avoid attention she did it infrequently. She yawned, trying to keep it from the teacher's notice. When Rei had gone to NERV, she had expected some of her usual tests. But yesterday had been one of her harsher experiences.

She had never particularly liked the tests, but she always detested these. Aside from the physical and harmonics test, they had another thing left to do… It had been painful. It had invaded her mind. She did not know what pilot Souryu felt when the 15th attacked, but she could imagine…

Rei stole another glance at Shinji. She went unnoticed. She smiled slightly.

Would she ever tell him the truth? What she was? What she was meant for? Her heart raced at what could happen if she did. He would run. He would leaver her. Rei would lose him…

Rei's eyes drooped slightly. Her thoughts of fear were replaced with drowsiness. Her head leaned on the glass, and she succumbed to sleep…

* * *

The bell rang, and everyone went to the bliss that was lunchtime. Everyone practically dragged Toji and Hikari out, desperate to hear about the accident and their relationship. Shinji stayed seated, but he was still nudged by a few students. Shinji was going to talk to Rei, but he saw her sleeping.

_**Let her rest, she is weary.**_

Shinji was going to ask why, but decided to ask her himself later. He left the classroom with his lunch, and sat in a table alone. There was a small crowd around Toji and Hikari, who were sitting together. He got some stares, but forgot about them as Kensuke and Kasuki joined him.

"Hey there Shinji," began Kasuki, "Mind if we eat with ya?"

"No…not at all" replied Shinji, surprised by the sudden arrival.

Kensuke noticed Shinji was still feeling down from the stares, and tried to cheer him up.

"Just ignore them Shinji, they'll start kissing your ass again once an angel attacks."

This elicited a chuckle from both Kasuki and Shinji, and helped liven the overall mood. Of course, being with two Eva fanatics, he knew the questions were coming eventually. Shinji didn't mind so much, he preferred this to no human contact. Both were stopped almost unexpectedly at one point, when Kasuki nudged Kenuke.

"Anyways, Kensuke, would you mind helping with a quick review before the test?" she asked, there was something subtle that Shinji didn't pick up on.

Kensuke looked confused, but then said 'sure' and they both left the table rather quickly.

Shinji was rather confused, until he heard a familiar quiet voice.

"Hello, Shinji," greeted Rei, "May I sit with you?"

Shinji looked up to see Rei, slightly less tired. Her feature were different, haunted. She had slight bags under her eyes, and overall looked weak. Shinji was too stunned to speak, so he just nodded. She sat down, and Shinji noticed her eyeing his food. Shinji could tell she was hungry.

"Rei," he asked quietly, "Did you bring any lunch?"

Rei shook her head slowly. Shinji looked down at his bento, and then pushed it slowly to Rei. She looked at him, with an expression somewhere between gratitude and disbelief. Shinji just handed her the chopsticks, and she squeezed his hand in thanks.

Shinji watched her eat. Rei was eating rather ravenously, something he hadn't seen before. He decided to hold his questions and other thoughts while she ate.

He looked up at the crowd around Toji; all were laughing and asking questions. He saw someone from the class start to whisper something to Toji.

He was snapped from the scene when Rei spoke.

"Thank you Shinji," she said, looking into his eyes, "I was not able to eat breakfast, and could not acquire lunch from the shop."

"Rei," asked Shinji, "They called you for more tests yesterday right? At NERV?"

Rei nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but a crash interrupted them. They looked at the source, and found the body of the student that had whispered to Toji. Apparently, he had been flung to the table he crashed on. The way he had landed seemed to indicate he had been thrown from…Toji's direction?

"EVERYONE LISTEN!" screamed Toji as he wheeled himself out of the crowd, "If anyone, ANYONE, DARES to blame Shinji for what happened-!" he pointed at the student that had crashed on the table, "They'll end up like him, clear?!"

Toji signaled Hikari that they should leave, and she followed him with a light blush.

For a moment, everyone stood surprised. Some stared at the student that had flown five feet, then to Shinji. Shinji sat very uncomfortably, and he felt Rei shrug too.

He looked at her and said, "We should go somewhere more private…"

She nodded, and they both stood up to leave. They decided to go outside to sit under a tree. They passed some students, some offering apologies, others staring at the two pilots walking together. They found some shade under a tree. Shinji looked at his watch, they still had fifteen minutes.

They sat down together. Rei was to Shinji's left, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. She searched for his hand, and lightly held it. Shinji looked around, and saw some girls staring.

_I guess what Hikari and Kasuki said was true…_

Shinji sat there quietly for a bit, holding Rei's hand. She was breathing in heavily and slowly. Shinji decided to talk to her now, before she fell asleep. "Rei, was it my father that called last night?" Shinji had gathered this by her 'sirs' during the call.

Rei had her eyes closed, falling asleep. She nodded.

"Well, what for?" asked Shinji. He didn't know of any reason to call back a pilot for tests, except for maybe a harmonics test.

Rei tried her best to not change her expression, "There was a modification to my Eva, and required that I synch with it to ensure it was safe." She lied, quite convincingly at that. She, however, could not lie to the being inside Shinji's head.

Arael wondered if he should tell Shinji what she said was false. Rei was not telling Shinji this from fear of rejection, or of fear that he would not like her for what she was.

Yet Arael had not revealed what she was. Besides, Arael saw no way of how this could hinder their relationship. Rei would tell Shinji in due time, no need to hurry.

"When did you get to your apartment then?" asked Shinji as she yawned.

When she finished, she said, "Three A.M."

"You only slept three hours?!" exclaimed a surprised Shinji. Why had the tests taken so long?

She nodded, but made it very clear that was all she would talk about of the matter. She then leaned on his shoulder again, closing her eyes. Shinji sat there, listening to Rei breath and holding her hand for a bit. He was considering talking about last night, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to disturb her…

_**Berserker, the blue-one is tired. This is a private matter, and you will gain nothing but stares and attention here. Perhaps you should return home?**_

Shinji thought for a moment about what Arael had suggested, and agreed with it. Some girls were staring at them, and after the scene with Toji…Well, he just wanted to talk with Rei.

He shook his shoulder slightly, and as Rei slowly opened her eyes. She adjusted her head slightly, enjoying the body contact with him. Her crimson eyes stared as she emitted a small 'hmm', as if asking what was wrong.

"Rei…" he asked, "Would you like come to my place for a while?"

Rei kept staring; Shinji assumed she wanted to know why. "I don't think it'll do you any good to stay. You need to sleep," he glances around at some of the people staring, "and well…I'd like to be somewhere more private…"

Rei lifted her head from his shoulder. She almost misinterpreted, but she caught the slight tone of seriousness in his voice, "Shinji…is there something you wish to speak of?" she asked, a slight tone of concern in her voice.

Shinji lowered his head, "N-not here Rei…" He looked around, and saw some students staring again.

Rei noticed this, and began standing up. She could tell he did not like the attention of the other students. A knot had formed on her stomach; Shinji's tone was not reassuring.

"We may leave. I am sure that NERV will excuse our absence."

Shinji stood up as well, and they both began the walk back to Misato's apartment.

* * *

Mana Kirishima sat on her bed, a light bulb flickering on the concrete ceiling. Her small window at the top of the bed shook slightly from the wind. She hated these cold nights. Her all-concrete room did nothing to improve this, in fact, doing the exact opposite. She clung to her single sheet, and cursed herself for not asking for another from the helpers here in the military base.

She got up from the bed. Mana decided to walk around a bit, trying to warm herself up. She shivered slightly as the sheet slid off, revealing her shorts and small t-shirt. Despite the cold, she didn't have warm clothes. She put on her slippers and started pacing around the room.

She looked at the only pieces of furniture in her room. The dresser, with the three pictures she had on top of it, which was only half-full. Opposite of the dresser was a desk and a chair, some documents and a knife scattered on top of it. She went to it and opened the folder on the top of the pile. It was a list of the classes and training she was taking. Just the finishing touches.

She had expected martial arts, bomb making, sniper training, knife fighting, but not the last one:

'Daily, 1900-2000, Seduction'

She threw the folder back on the pile. SEELE were very serious when they said she should seduce one of the pilot's given the chance. The first class had been today. They had given her a folder of the three pilots, a psychological report. She had to read it, to know what buttons to push. They were also teaching her other things as well…

Mana shook her head. She didn't want to think about it. She shivered again. She was sore all over from all the classes. She was tired, but couldn't sleep. She went to the door next to the dresser, which lead to her small bathroom.

She took showers whenever she could, they always relaxed her. The bathroom was small, the shower and tub taking a third of the space in it. A hot shower would warm her up, not to mention loosen up her muscles. She took off her clothing, placing them neatly on the toilet. She got into the tub, closing the screen behind her. Then, she turned on the water at its hottest.

An 'mmm' escaped her lips as the water collided with her tender skin. It was momentarily cold, but it soon heated up. The water slid of her smooth white skin; her dirty-red hair now clung to her young face. She turned around, letting some of the water hit her back as well. It pelted her shoulder blades and slid down her form, soothing her muscles.

She didn't bother shampooing or anything else. The young woman had taken a thorough shower two hours earlier. She just let the water hit her back and shoulders. She was always sore from training, but today had been especially grueling. Lowering her head so her neck would be massaged as well, she recalled something the instructor had said…

"Two of the pilots are female, Kirishima, so you must also learn how to seduce women as well," Mana remembered her instructor was an attractive women, apparently experienced in this matter, "I have no orders to engage in anything with you, but the easiest way is to practice with yourself, alone."

Despite being in a hot shower, she shivered again. She hoped SEELE didn't force her to do anything. The thoughts of sleeping with another girl were frightening to her. Her thoughts turned to what the instructor said about 'practicing with yourself'. She gulped; she easily understood what it meant.

Her hands were almost moving autonomously. She did this rarely, but the need for release and the hot water combined were too much.

Her left hand slowly slid down, sliding over her skin on the way there. Her right slowly drew circles around her right nipple, and pinched it. She moaned, as she slowly sank to her knees.

She now had a deep blush, noting how electrifying her fingers were. Her left hand descended to below her waist, then, in between her smooth legs. There was no hair in the way, since she liked to be shaved, so her hand slowly circled around her petals with no impediment.

Another moan escaped her lips, as her right hand fondled her right breast and nipple. She was completely lost in the moment now, as a finger parted her petals. This elicited a small spasm from her, as she lowered herself down on the floor of the tub. Her head was on the floor, but her legs were still up, raising her hips in the air. The hot water was raining exactly on her hips, enhancing the experience immensely. Drops trickled down her back as she continued fondling her breasts. She soon began moving her left hand and hips in unison, filling her with pleasure.

Her body now had a blush to it; the hot water combined with her raising arousal was almost too much for her. Mana now had both hands between her legs, hips in the air. She was breathing sharply and quickly, her climax was building and all she wanted was to get it sooner. She kept fingering herself as her right hand rubbed her vulva. Her forehead on the tub floor, she gyrated her hips for even more pleasure.

Soon, she climaxed. Every muscle in her body clenched. Her eyes clamped shut, and her back arched. With her legs shaking, and her entire figure spasming, she felt her secretions on her fingers. The water cascaded down her young body washing away the evidence of sin. She collapsed completely now, her legs no longer able to support her.

_Oh my god… _was all she could think. Water continued to rain down on her exhausted body. She hated to admit it, but, doing this always made her feel better.

She would always feel ashamed afterwards, thinking that it was evidence of lack of self-control. Deep down though she knew she enjoyed this feeling more than anything in her troubled life. As Mana breathed deeply, she knew she would experience more of these once in Japan…

* * *

The door to Misato's apartment slowly opened, and the young couple entered. The place was the still how Shinji left, Misato had apparently not returned. Pen Pen's fridge door was open, and the penguin was now in front of the other fridge, rummaging for food. Rei giggled quietly at the scene, as Shinji groaned.

The penguin turned to see the new guests, and his body almost expressed happiness at the sight of the Provider. The penguin gave a squawk, and pointed its flipper at the fridge.

"Is he always," Rei asked with amused speculation, "This demanding?"

Shinji nodded as he made his way to the fridge to get the bird some fish. Rei slowly made her way into the living room and as Shinji was getting the fish, she asked.

"Shinji, may I use your bed?"

Shinji finally grabbed the fish, "Yeah of course Rei" he answered, too distracted with feeding the bird pecking his leg to realize what he said.

Rei slowly walked and opened the screen to his room, giggling at the sign that read: 'Shinji's lovely suite'. Rei proceeded to lie down on the bed, facing the door. The albino wondered what it was he wanted to talk about, as fatigue defeated her…

Shinji meanwhile finished appeasing the bird, as it devoured the delicious contents of its bowl. He looked around for Rei, not seeing her anywhere. He wondered where she went, and looked in the living room, thinking she had fallen asleep on the couch. When she wasn't there, he was confused.

_Where'd she go?_

_**Berserker, while you were feeding the bird she asked if she could use your quarters. You accepted.**_

_What? Rei is in my room?_

_**Do you not remember this?**_

Shinji didn't bother answering; he simply went to his room. His screen was indeed half-open, and the slumbering figure of Rei lay on his bed facing him. It was dead quiet, only her breathing was heard. Shinji slowly walked inside. He sat next to the bed, his head only a foot from hers. Her hair covered half of her face, as her chest expanded and contracted. The only light was coming in from the window, and the sunlight was almost making her glow.

Shinji didn't want to wake her up, she looked so peaceful. So beautiful. It occurred to him that he could ask Arael to read her opinion on yesterday and just act differently. To find out why she acted so boldly. No need for any more misunderstandings, he would understand her now…

He could have but he didn't…

Arael had told him before. The angel helped him when needed, and when told. It was, so Arael said, to help him learn. Shinji knew this. Simply taking the answer from her wouldn't do it.

Though it pained him, he lightly shook Rei's shoulder. Her eyelids slowly rose to reveal her crimson eyes. She blinked a few times, as consciousness seeped back to her. Almost instinctively, Rei's hand reached up to hold the one on her shoulder. She squeezed it softly for a second, before adjusting her head a little on the pillow.

"What is it that you wished to speak of Shinji?" she asked softly, almost in a whisper.

"Rei, I-um" he stuttered, he still didn't know how to phrase this; "I wanted to talk about last night…" he finished meekly.

Rei continued to look at him, only blinking in response. Shinji continued,

"A-about what we did," he began, blushing while saying it, 'o-on the couch?"

This being said, Rei looked away with a blush, "W-was my performance…u-unacceptable?"

"N-n-no!" exclaimed Shinji, holding her hand tighter in reassurance, "no, no it's not that…"

Rei looked at him again, the blush still on her cheeks, "T-then do you wish for our relationship to e-"

Shinji lunged up to hug her as best as he could from his angle. Rei gasped at his sudden move, and held him as well. Shinji was kneeling next to the bed now, his head on top of hers. Shinji was holding back a tear, he always cried when Rei got hurt. He should have been clearer…

"S-Shinji?" she asked, with fear in her voice.

"Rei, I'm not leaving you…" he stated, despite his state he tried to sound as calm as possible.

Rei turned her body now, facing up at the ceiling. Shinji's face hovering slightly above hers.

"Then…what?"

Shinji didn't know what to say, what if she misinterpreted again? He didn't want to confuse her or hurt her anym-

_**Be direct Berserker.**_

Shinji took a deep breathe, the angel was right. Very quietly, more of a whisper, he said, "Rei…I think we're going too fast…"

Shinji looked at her, waiting for her reaction. She blinked a few times, making it seem as if her eyes were flickering.

"Phy-physically?" she asked in a whisper, a large blush on her face.

Shinji nodded, "Yes Rei…I mean, we've only been dating for 3 days…"

Rei sat up on the bed, so that they were facing each other, "I...I don't understand, is this a problem?"

"No Rei it isn't, or it is or…" answered and undecided Shinji, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Shinji," began the blue headed girl, "Please tell me, I will not judge you" she said softly, cupping his cheek with her hand.

"Rei," started Shinji, taking a deep breath before telling the truth, "I-I like being with you, I like holding you and kissing you. I enjoy it. B-but…I don't want to look at our relationship and just think it's physical. I want to go slow Rei, to get to know you better. Besides, I haven't dated before…so I don't know what to do when…." He said that last part with a tint of shame.

Rei leaned closer, speaking softly, "Shinji…you must not be ashamed of your inexperience, I have none as well."

Shinji opened his mouth, but words failed him. Rei saw him fumbling for words, and decided it was her turn to speak.

"Shinji, I-I was very bold yesterday. But, when you hold me, kiss me, and touch me, it is unlike anything I have ever felt. Yesterday, I do not know what came over me. I wanted to be closer, I wanted more…"

Rei was blushing as well, but continued, "I understand that we may have been…hasty thus far. To answer your question Shinji, I agree. We have not learned much of each other, and should proceed at a steadier pace."

Shinji looked up at Rei, happy that she understood. She was smiling at him as well. Shinji smiled back; glad that they had cleared this up. He raised his hand up to her cheek, and leaned in to kiss her. The couple closed their eyes as their lips meet.

It only lasted a few seconds, but that kiss carried something heavier. Understanding. Rei broke the kiss, but her lips remained only an inch from his. She spoke softly to him.

"Shinji?"

"Yes, Rei?"

"Though we may go slower, will you continue to hold me, and kiss me, even among others?"

Shinji looked into her red orbs, "Of course Rei"

Shinji kissed her again, and was about to stand. He wanted to let her sleep. Rei placed her hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Please, Shinji, stay…" she said, pulling him down for another kiss.

Shinji, with a blush, complied. He sat down on the bed and continued to hold and kiss her. She cradled his head, and he held her tight. Both teens soon fell on the bed, still kissing. Rei parted to ask.

"Is this-" she kissed him again, "-acceptable?"

"More than…" was all he said, as the girl smiled and continued to kiss him.

The couple kept kissing for ten minutes. They grinded against each other, held each other, kissed each other. Their hair would get in the way, were in they would part, remove the encumbrance, and continue. Shinji's tongue met hers, as they explored the depths of their mouths. Shinji felt Rei's soft orbs through her clothing, and Rei felt his arousal.

Shinji's hands almost instinctively moved for more, but Shinji had resolved to go slower. Rei had noticed this, and was almost sad when he stopped himself. But she understood his wishes, and her school uniform was in no way easy to remove in their present state.

The couple parted for more than a second for the first time. Both were breathing quickly, not noticing how little they had been breathing. Rei leaned in for a final kiss on his lips, and rested her head on his shoulder, content. She fell asleep quickly, because of her exhaustion and Shinji's breathing lulled her to leave consciousness behind.

Shinji held the blue haired beauty in amazement, amazed at how they made out. It was incredible how this apparently timid girl kissed him continuously. Now, only their breathing was heard. Eventually, he got up and slowly rested Rei's head on the pillow. She didn't wake up, and Shinji left the room.

As he looked at her sleeping form, he was glad this had been settled. He sighed, and somehow knew things would be better now.

_**And that Berserker**_ began the angel, _**Is why I help you only when needed.**_

* * *

AN:

I thought I couldn't top my last chapter but jesus… I must have at least matched it with this one. I am mentally tired from this, but I'm not taking breaks just slow. Other reasons why I took a while: Comic con, 2 weeks of school, and rabid monkeys. It was an eventful 2 months. I took less time than the last chap though…

Anyways, here's something for all my faithful. There is a pop culture in this chapter, whoever can come the closest to guess it wins a price!

The price: You will have a choice to put something in the next chap, these include: A lime, a preview (of what!) ect… You can PM me with your answer or leave it in the review. If you win, ill tell you more details. Be as specific as possible.

Hints: Something Kasuki says, comedian.

I'll see you people with my next chap when I see ya. The story will continue with its twists.

EXTRAS:

-This was my hardest chapter simply for the amount of times it was proofread and corrected. I would like to thank Saturn for the many, many times he helped me. What you are about to read is a dramatization of the writing process.

Me: (type, type, type, type) Ohh, got a cool scene here, I'll send it to Saturn. (Send)

Saturn[Adjective scene, here's what else you should do.

Me: (Looks at suggestions) Hey these are really good…but they aren't my ideas… (Horrible guilt for using the suggestions)

-Days later-

Me: K, here's what I got so far, need some help with [x scene

-Days later-

Me: He's taking a while…should I keep writing or wait? Ohhh…

Saturn: Sorry for taking a while[x scene is good, but horribly executed, do this.

Me: But I worked soo hard…(Sees suggestions) But these are really ideas…fine I'll start over…

-Days later-

Me: Finished! Hurry up so I can post it!

Saturn: Just got to polish it.

Me: Ohh, maybe I did well this time! (Sees amount of errors, corrections, and suggestions) OH THAT'S FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

What I'm trying to say, I would work faster if it weren't Saturn. Then again, my work would also be not so good. Not soo good at all. Thanks Saturn, just having a good life.

-Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, have a Mexican peanut.

Saturn's response: **(I'll settle for a shot of Tequila and an inexpensive hooker!)**

Ill see ya people, leave reviews and your answers in reviews or PM me!


	15. Awakened

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't)

Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, have a Mexican peanut.

Translations at the bottom.

CHAPTER 15: AWAKENED

The water shimmered, reflecting light on the gym ceiling above. The scent of chlorine filled the air, and everything seemed surprisingly calm. A splash shattered the relative quietness, the ripples breaking the pools inertness. Rei Ayanami had dived in, her figure blurred underwater.

Shinji watched as Rei went to other end of the pool and came up, inhaling loudly. She turned to see him, her hair sticking to her face, and gave him a small smile. Shinji returned the smile from where he was sitting on the edge, his feet dipping in the water. She reached out for an edge, and lifted herself out of the pool. She padded to her towel as the water dripped from her skin to the floor. Shinji tried not to stare, but even in a blue one-piece, Rei looked beautiful in her swimsuit.

Rei smiled as she saw Shinji's blushing face. She wrapped her entire body in the towel, and sat next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, and Shinji put his arm around her. Her hair dampened his shirt, but he didn't mind. They had decided to spend some time at the school pool today instead of somewhere else.

After their understanding on Monday, they quickly fell into a routine. They would always meet up after school, be it at the park or the school grounds, and then both teens would head to their respective homes. They would hold hands, kiss, and generally just spend some time together. Shinji no longer invited Rei over, but he was seriously considering changing this…

There was an ulterior reason for not inviting her, and it was Misato. It had been almost a week since the accident with the drunken guardian, and Shinji had been avoiding her since. This hadn't been very hard since she was working late at NERV lately. Also, he didn't really want any teasing about dating Rei.

"Shinji," said Rei, breaking Shinji's train of thought, "The sixth child arrives today does she not?"

Shinji nodded, "Yeah she does…" Shinji was still very uncomfortable with a new pilot arriving. After what happened to Toji and Asuka, he was wondering how Shinji and Rei hadn't ended up the same. The last couple of angels had been lethal, and there were still two left. Not only that, but one of the aforementioned was in his head.

Arael had become consistently quieter over the last few days; Shinji had begun to wonder why. The angel still answered when he asked for help, but for the most part it kept to itself. They had to talk…

Shinji wanted to do something with Rei before Mana arrived, but was unsure of how she would react. This time he didn't bother asking Arael, he just asked.

"Rei?" he asked as he shook his shoulder slightly. The blue haired pilot lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. There was no easy way to put it, so he just blurted it out.

"Rei…would you like to visit Asuka with me before Mana arrives?"

Rei's expression changed quickly, and she looked at the pool instead. Rei had been enjoying the relationship since they established how they felt, but the young girl still had doubts. Shinji had been avoiding the Major, and he had been very quiet about the arrival of the sixth, who was an attractive young woman. Rei kept this to herself however, not wanting to overreact again. She pondered his question, and remembered that she had mentioned that she would accompany him.

Rei looked back to Shinji and nodded, she didn't feel like breaking the soothing silence of the school pool…

* * *

"You two are sure you don't need a ride?" asked the Major into her cell phone, pacing around the bridge, "Well, if you two change your minds, S2 will be tailing you as always." She closed the phone and sighed, rubbing her forehead. 

"Was that Shinji you called, Major Katsuragi?" asked Maya, craning her head around as to not divert her attention from her monitor. The Major had been a little more stressed today than usual, and she was wondering why. She wondered a lot about the Major ever since that conversation in the bar…

"No, it was Rei. She always has her phone close by." Was the excuse Misato made up. The reality was she and Shinji hadn't exactly been on speaking terms, not since her drunken incident. She started walking around again, trying to focus on the task at hand. The sixth child was arriving today, with her EVA unlike initially thought. This posed a big problem. They had plenty of room to house the EVA, but the last time an EVA came to Japan...well, her arms still hurts a bit from the accident. No, the real problem was landing it here in Tokyo 3.

"So." Began Misato, reciting from memory. "The transport will approach at 152 meters altitude at 91 Kph. After release the pilot will snap unfold her AT field for impact. I want recovery teams on ready status, she's never done this before. "

"Meanwhile," added the blonde scientist that had just entered the room, "Unit 01, and hopefully Unit 00 will stand guard with assault rifles and knives at the ready. If anything goes wrong, they have authorization to fire on Unit 05"

She was carrying two mugs of coffee, one for her and another for Maya. They had stayed up analyzing MAGI, everything from the new pilots synching, EVA, combat abilities, also the entire flight plan. Not to mention, at the commander's request, the probability of it being infected by another Angel. He said if the probability was anything more than zero, the other units had to be armed. She almost didn't bother checking.

At the questioning look Misato gave her, Ritsuko just said, "Commander's orders" and Misato bit her tongue before voicing her questions publicly.

* * *

The afternoon progressed, and Misato soon found a moment in which to talk with the blonde scientist. Ritsuko was in her office, typing something into her computer as numbers filled the screen. Misato looked at the cat on top of the display before breaking the noise of typing. 

"Hey, Ritsuko…" Asked Misato as she knocked on the open door, "Do you mind if I ask you some-?"

The scientist sighed, took off her glasses and pinched her nose. She didn't need Misato to finish the sentence to know what this was about.

"Misato, please, I'm very busy. Can't you piece this together yourself?" Exasperated the tired woman said, turning her chair around to face Misato.

"Ritsuko, I know you're tired…" At the moment Ritsuko began to turn her attention back to the computer, she blurted out the only thing she could come up with. "I'll buy you dinner"

_Shit!_

Ritsuko sighed again, but turned around to face her, legs and arms crossed, "All right Misato, ask away. It's your loss."

Misato was going to protest, but figured out that it was too late. She might as well ask what was on her mind, she was already buying.

_Oh well, at least __I'll get drunk…_

"Ritsuko, why did the commander ask for Unit 05 to be dropped instead of being landed over at the JSDF air strip?" she asked, trying to ignore how this would affect her wallet.

"Misato, I'm pretty sure you were suspicious too when you found out this pilot was approved by the UN itself and not NERV?" she half-asked, half-stated to the major.

"Well yeah, but why is the commander-

Then it clicked.

"-Testing her?" finished Ritsuko. "We've been under a lot of pressure here Misato; I wouldn't be surprised if we've made some enemies"

"You mean the commander is worried she's a spy?" asked Misato rather dumbstruck, wondering how she hadn't connected two and two together.

"Or worse, she does have previous military training Misato…" Stated Ritsuko, before adding, "We'll just have to see…"

Misato was slightly shocked at this revelation, but it was the commander. It sounded like something he'd do. If the pilot is a spy, he'd look for any excuse to get rid of her. He would have to make it look official though, and any way he could hamper her progress. But a 15 year old couldn't possibly be…?

Misato hadn't noticed Ritsuko wheeling around and continuing her work. Ritsuko then leaned her head back and said.

"So today after the landing?" asked the scientist, wondering about the reward. Misato kicked herself mentally, and slowly nodded.

* * *

Rei and Shinji had just entered the NERV hospital. Upon their arrival, they were both informed about their duties on Unit 05's drop. Shinji was rather confused about why they had to drop her, but he understood the need for them to hold rifles at the ready. One time was too many. He kept his head clear of the accident with the thirteenth as often as possible, wasn't really something you want to remember. Besides, this is a bit too similar… Shinji cleared his train of thought; he had a direr situation at hand. 

Holding hands, the teens walked to Asuka's room, stopping at the door. Shinji was still unsure if doing this with Rei was ok. She had said it herself, but he didn't want another problem after a few days of everything going so well.

"Rei," he began as he turned around to meet her crimson eyes, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Rei at the question diverted her gaze to the floor. She had been rather uncomfortable with the idea, but she understood why Shinji wanted to visit Asuka. Rei preferred to be honest with Shinji as often as possible, so she spoke.

"I cannot say that it does not bother me, but I understand that I should visit her" she stated, still looking at the ground. "But I would rather go in alone Shinji…if that is acceptable?"

Shinji nodded, glad that she was telling him the truth. Otherwise, Arael would have spoken. He noticed she still looked rather nervous, and he squeezed her hand a little to get her attention. She looked at him again as he asked.

"Would you rather I go first Rei?" She nodded, as she began to sit down on one of the chairs outside Asuka's room in the hallway.

Shinji let go of her hand, and began to reach for the doorknob. He took one moment to look at Rei, and admired her beauty. She was wearing a tight black tank top and some black sweat pants that hugged her legs. They were the clothes she had taken to wear after the pool. The black complimented her alabaster skin well. Even if it wasn't amazing, it was always exciting to see her wear something besides the school uniform. It made him appreciate how she only did this for him.

Rei finally met his gaze and Shinji turned to the door, blushing. Rei noticed this and blushed as well, Shinji had been admiring her. With no more words exchanged, he opened the door.

* * *

Mana Kirishima lay in the cockpit of Unit 05, the green avatar hanging limply from the transport it was attached to. She had been in there for about 5 hours, and it was starting to get on her nerves. LCL in short bursts were unpleasant enough, but in a long trip it will become unbearable. Humanity had learned how to make these things, but god forbid they make a system that would allow the pilots to enter while on the flight and not before. Her brown hair floated slightly in the liquid, as she sat in her seat as relaxed as she could. 

The last few days of training were over, and it was time for the task at hand. She was nervous as hell, but she had to take this one step at a time. First, she had to focus on landing this thing without hurting herself or the EVA, an unnecessary challenge by Gendo.

He hadn't asked her, or anyone else for that matter. The bastard had cloaked this little effort to injure her, with some bullshit theory of precautions in case there was another angel. The UN and SEELE conceded, it was also a test for the new pilot. If she couldn't do this, she probably wasn't suitable for the job anyways.

She shook her head, trying to lessen a knot that had formed in her neck. Her muscles had been tense the last few days after non-stop training, shooting, fighting, building, studying and learning what she needed to know, including what she didn't want to know.

The last lesson she had with the seduction teacher was something she wouldn't soon forget. She blushed, trying to shake the memories of that lesson, but it was useless. Her hand descended slightly, and she shaked a little. She couldn't deny it, she had liked it…

"Two hours till arrival miss Kirishima" stated the pilot, as his face popped up in an interface that said 'Audio only'. Mana snapped back from her train of thought and answered.

"Thank you, keep me posted…" with that, the screen vanished.

Two more hours, two more hours until she met the bastard face to face…

* * *

Rei woke up as she heard a click. She had fallen asleep on the chair in the hallway, the click resonated from Shinji leaving Asuka's room. She restrained herself, but she couldn't help but yawn. The swimming had apparently left her more tired than she thought. 

Shinji noticed Rei waking up as he entered the hallway, and wondered how long he had been in ther-

_**Eight**__** minutes, Berserker.**_

That was the first thing Arael had said all day, and it startled Shinji. Rei at seeing his expression thought he was annoyed by the fact that she was asleep.

"Excuse me Shinji, but I was a little tired after swimming" She said in an apologetic tone, lowering her head in a slight bow.

"Wha-" After realizing what had happened; he quickly said "Oh no Rei, It's fine. If you're tired, maybe you'd rather sleep before the mission?"

"No Shinji, I am fine. I'll see Soryu and then we should proceed to change" She stood up, and started to reach out to open the door.

"Um, uh sure Rei, I'll wait here…" he stuttered, still a little shocked at Areal's sudden interruption. He could have sworn she was blushing before she went in.

After she did, he sat down on the chair Rei had been sitting in. Now, he could finally talk with Arael.

_Um, Arael…_

_**Yes Berserker?**_

_Why have you been so quiet lately?_Asked Shinji

_**Human, you know I prefer to observe**_

_Well, would you mind talking every now and then?_

_**About what Berserker, and why? Do you need my help that often?**_

_Well, no it__'s not that, it's just…_ Shinji paused, a bit confused and frustrated _I'd rather think of you as a friend instead of just a tool I use when I need_. Shinji did have a problem with that idea, it reminded him of his father.

_**I see**_ responded the angel a few seconds later. _**I understand Berserker, but that still doesn't answer about what.**_

Shinji pondered for a few seconds, then came up with something which he had always been curios about. _How do you entertain yourself when I'm in class?_

_**Unlike you Berserker, I do not know the basics of your race. I, unlike most of your class, pay attention and absorb the information. **_

_I pay attention_ retorted Shinji, trying to separate himself from the rest of the class.

_**You can't lie to me **__**human.**_

Shinji chuckled at the angel's response, but Arael still continued.

_**I also look into the minds of those around you. I have **__**learned much of your classmates.**_

_What does…Rei think about?_ He asked, a little guilty at the invasion of privacy, but he couldn't help himself.

_**Mostly of you**_

Shinji blushed at the response, it was pretty much the same for him. Well…when he wasn't sleeping because of his guest.

_Hey Arael, what do you know about Mana?_ He asked, curious to know if Arael knew anything he didn't.

There was no response, although he could have sworn he heard something

_Arael?_ He asked, a tinge of worry in his voice

_**B-Berserker…the Red one has-**_

* * *

The constant beep of the computers could be heard, and the slow motion of the fan above created a small breeze. Asuka lay on the bed, her once brilliant hair now covering her eyes. A rumpled hospital gown covered her body.

Rei was sitting on the chair next to the bed, looking at the now silent form of the once pilot of Unit 02. This didn't disturb her, she had been in a similar situation many times, and had seen Shinji in it as well. Rei had been sitting there, not knowing what to do. She had seen movies and had seen Shinji talk to people who are unconscious, but she didn't know what to say.

"So-Soryu?" She asked, and looked at Asuka's form attentively, as If expecting an answer. She lowered her head a little, trying to come up with something.

"I am…sorry I could not help…" Rei took a moment to analyze what she had said, then corrected herself. "That I didn't…help you when you were attacked…I should have done something" She looked up again, almost hoping for an answer. There was none, only the beeping.

"Soryu, do you remember," she began to ask, "When you first came to me, when you offered to be friends…?"

Rei swallowed before continuing, "I have come to…admire you Soryu. Your resolve and bravery is admirable. Though I didn't accept it then…I would like to accepted that offer now…"

"Ugh... Schließen Sie Wundermädchen"

Rei's head shot up, Asuka's body was moving very slowly. She blinked several times, convinced that she was imagining this. Asuka slowly turned her head to face Rei, and at first only blinked.

"S-Souryu?" she asked tentatively.

"How….long was I out?" Asked the German girl slowly, her voice sounding rather rough.

It took Rei a moment to respond, "T-two weeks"

At that moment, the door opened and Shinji came in. "Rei, did you just talk in…" Shinji stopped cold as he Asuka was looking at him, "German…"

'Ja dumpkoff, der war ich" she said, trying to sound sarcastic, but she was still too weak.

Shinji lunged himself to hug her. She cringed a little at suddenly being lifted slightly from the bed, but didn't comment. Asuka thought about making a comment about how he was perverted, but instead simply hugged back.

"You're awake…" he said quietly.

"That much is obvious…What happened while I was out?" she asked groggily.

Shinji retracted his hug, but helped her stay upright on the top of the bed. "Well… the fifth child is arriving today, with her EVA" he said, saying the first thing that came to mind, "And there hasn't been another angel attack since the…" Shinji was going to say the fifteenth, but thought it was better not to. It had done a great deal to Asuka, and it was living in his head.

"Oh well…that's not bad I guess…Wouldn't want you two fighting an angel just yourselves." Asuka's gut reaction was to scream about how they were replacing her, but she was too weak and too groggy to construct the right sentence. She immediately calmed down when she heard the sixth was coming with its own EVA.

"Also, Shinji and I are sating" added Rei, without a flinching. She didn't know why she said it, maybe it was the tinge of jealousy she had felt when Shinji had hugged her.

"Really?" Asked Asuka, rather shocked at the revelation. She looked from one to the other, as Shinji nodded in confirmation.

"Ugh, could either of you get the nurse, I still feel like sheise…" she said. Shinji nodded and left the room to get the nurse, leaving Asuka and Rei alone. Rei was distracting herself, wondering if what she said wasn't too bold.

"Rei…" The redhead began slowly, "Did you mean everything you said? About taking the offer again?"

Rei was surprised, either because Asuka had heard her, or because she hadn't called her 'doll' or 'wonder girl'. "You…heard me?" she asked tentatively.

"I heard a lot of things…" Answered the German girl, "So, did you?"

Rei, still rather surprised at the development, could only nod. Asuka looked down at her bed for a second, and then slowly raised her hand to move her hair out of her face. She turned to look at Rei, and said,

"Accepted Rei"

* * *

Mana had nailed it, she really had. She didn't often praise herself but god damnit, sticking that kind of landing without even a sprain is pretty damn good. Her knees and legs hurt a little, but that's to be expected. Of course that's where all the good news ended for Mana; the last few hours had been seeing and meeting everyone. 

Shinji, her prime candidate to befriend or date to get closer to Gendo, was dating the second candidate, Rei. The third candidate, Asuka, had been in a comma for a little more than a week and had barely woken up. Also, from the bits and pieces she gathered from the few people she talked to, Asuka wasn't exactly stable at the moment. In her report tonight, she planned to ask who fucked Intel…

Mana snapped from her thoughts and focused on where she was going. They had assigned her an apartment in the same building as the Major. She was glad to have some proximity to Shinji, maybe she could still work on that. She stopped in front of apartment # 214, and put the key in. She gently nudged the door so it slid opened, being careful not to drop her bag. The room was eerily dark, but she didn't really mind.

Mana walked in and turned on the light. She proceeded to put her bag on the table and get her laptop out. She turned it on, and as it started to boot up she wondered how she was gonna do this now… One of her teachers had a saying. It went: "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy". How she would do this she didn't really know, but she would get it done.

She hadn't met the bastard face to face yet, but it was only a matter of time…

* * *

Asuka sat upright on her hospital bed, as she contemplated what had happened. She had been in a coma for a little more than a week, and the reasons were unknown. That Akagi woman suggested it was mental withdrawal. She didn't outright scream she was wrong, mostly because she thought that that's what it had been. She tried stretching her muscles, trying to relieve a series of cramps along her body. 

The red haired pilot cursed, as she still felt pangs of pain here and there. A nurse had asked if she wanted morphine, but Asuka declined. While it was rather…uncomfortable, at least it kept her wake. She didn't fell like sleeping, especially after being in a coma; she was genuinely afraid she might fall into it again.

Asuka started to slip down to a lying position, adjusting her pillow to a more comfortable position. The room didn't have a TV, so all she had to spend time was think about what had happened. She was surprised that Shinji and Rei were dating, she was always joking when she said they should. Who made the first move is probably her biggest question, Rei's too timid, and Shinji is spinele- well, WAS spineless…

The other thing that had scared her was that she had heard what they had said to her while in her coma. Asuka had heard Shinji and more recently Rei. It was more bits and pieces than an actual conversation, but she could still tell. Those two conversations are probably why she was a bit mellow at the moment. She hadn't even raised her voice yet.

The German girl started to watch the fan spinning above, giving her body a pleasant breeze. Asuka was going to need some time to get her feelings in order; she was a bit drowsy and rather confused. She was…unsure of how she felt about everything. The fifth, Mana, had her own EVA, so at least they weren't replacing her. That was a relief in of itself. The other thing was her feelings for Shinji, she…liked him. She wouldn't accept it before, but now…

Her eyelids were slowly closing, as hard as she resisted, the fan was drifting her asleep. She wasn't exactly sure about how she felt about Shinji and Rei dating. Was she just jealous? Or was it something else? With her last second of consciousness, she decided that she would focus on getting out of the hospital first before anything else. Maybe then she could get a better grip on herself…

_What did that angel do to me…?_

* * *

Shinji lay on his bed, thinking about today's events. Ever since Arael, things kept constantly happening more often. He sighed, as the apparent stability for the last few days may be gone. First was Mana arriving. He had been rather impressed on the fact that she hadn't gotten hurt when she landed. Shinji got a sick sense of Déjà vu as Mana's EVA landed. The fact that her EVA looked exactly like Toji's, except for a different color, startled him. He was glad he hadn't had his finger on the trigger… 

When he talked with her, for only a couple of minutes, he had gotten a…strange feeling. The way she talked, it sounded like she thought through everything she said. She didn't talk a lot like Asuka, or Rei. They were short responses, but still… Shinji couldn't shake of the felling something was off. Mana was friendly thankfully, and it seemed like it might be the start of a friendship. She was living in the same building as Misato and himself, so she's close by.

Rei, on the other hand, didn't really talk with Mana. A small exchange is all, which Mana started. He was wondering why Rei wouldn't talk with her, but he guessed it might have something to do with jealousy. He couldn't blame Rei, Mana was definitely attractive. After that, he didn't see Mana again; she was whisked away by Ritsuko and Misato.

The other thing that had happened was that Asuka had woken up. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her either, as soon as he brought back the nurse, Misato called to tell them they had to suit up. He told her about Asuka, and Misato came with Ritsuko, Maya and other people. He hadn't talked to her after Mana landed; the nurse said Asuka needed rest.

He yawned, as he could feel sleep inching closer. He knew the next few days would be eventful. He just had to look at the positive side of things. Asuka had woken up, a new pilot, Mana, seemed like a new friend. Hell, he should even talk to Misato to clear things up. And of course, he was dating Rei. He fell asleep with good thoughts.

Arael, however, didn't share his optimism. The angel did not know his full effect on the red one, and the effect it might have on her mentality was unknown. The fifth child, Mana, was obviously more than she let on. Arael was impressed on how easily she had hid her motives from Shinji. Arael would be busy helping Shinji the next few days…

To make matters worse…Arael could sense Arimisael coming closer…it was only a matter of days now…

* * *

TRANSLATIONS: 

Shut up wonder girl: Schließen Sie Wundermädchen

Yeah dumb ass, that was me: Ja dumpkoff, der war ich

* * *

AN: 

I'm gonna stop making this promised. I make the chapters at this speed apparently. I'm one lazy fuck.Sorry.

Not much to say in all true honesty, tried something a little different this chapter. Taking a page from Sideris and Zentrodi (Or however its spelled) Not that I'll be able to compete, but hey, step in the right direction no? LEAVE A REVIEW, GOOD OR BAD

Many thanks to Saturn, who aside from his difilculties, proofread this thing for me in one day. Record for him. And he kicked my stories ass too.

C you all laters...

SQUIRREL,

* * *


	16. Presence

**THE MIND OF AN ANGEL**

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't, 'cause of copyright reasons. No, not ethical reasons)

Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, don't you ever quit on me.

**CHAPTER 16: PRESENCE**

Asuka was sitting on her bed, waiting for the results of the physical she just had today. She didn't like being in the hospital. The robe didn't cover much, which made her very conscious of her nakedness. There was also an eerily silence. Save for the beeping of machines, and small fluttering of the fan, there really wasn't anything else. There were medical tables, which only unsettled her, and some chairs for visitors.

The German had been subjected to a full physical, which had taken quite a bit. It was, according to Ritsuko, to see of she could leave the hospital; and to a further extent still pilot. She was hoping she would at least come out of the hospital, she wanted to…talk to Shinji again.

It had been three days now since she woke up, and pretty much everyone had come to visit, bringing news with them. Hikari and Toji were apparently and item now, and Kensuke was getting along well with Kojima. Shinji had come to visit twice, once with Rei. They hadn't done much, just talked. Asuka couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt...better when Shinji was here.

Ritsuko entering the room interrupted her train of thought suddenly. Asuka looked at her expectantly. Ritsuko flipped some pages from here notepad and said, "Well Asuka, I'm glad to say you should be just fine. You can leave the hospital today and go back with Misato."

Asuka nodded, glad to hear that, but asked, "And what about piloting?"

"I was getting to that," added the blonde, "The commander has ordered that you take a synch test before you leave, so go suit up." The blonde pointed to the door with her pen, and Asuka couldn't help but let herself smile.

* * *

Shinji and Rei were sitting under a Sakura tree at school. It was lunchtime, and many students were out and about, socializing and eating. The day was sunny, so everyone was taking advantage of this good weather. This couple had already eaten lunch, so they simply held each other while the minutes ticked away. Rei, however, had twisted her head to look at the young man. 

The crimson-eyed girl broke the silence, as she asked curiously, "Shinji, may I ask you something?"

Shinji looked into her eyes and nodded, feeling a very light breeze, "Of course you can."

Rei began to blush, and looked slightly away from her companion, "Shinji, I only wished to ask if we may…advance further today?"

The couple had been getting together after school every day now, what they did was usually a whim though. The thing that she enjoyed the most however was contact. The signs of affection they shared, be it a hug, or a deep kiss, were pleasing to her. When they exchanged kisses and held each other, she yearned for more…

Shinji blinked in confusion, and was about to ask her what she meant, but she was still blushing and hiding her face on his shoulder. The young man decided to ask Arael instead, and Arael answered before he asked.

_**The Blue one means advance phy**__**sically human.**_

Shinji decided to look forward, to hide his rather shocked face.

_You mean…sex?_

_**No, that is not what she had in mind. The Blue one wishes you to touch her more intimately. At least from what I can gather. **_

Shinji turned to look at Rei again, a blush on both their faces, "Are you sure Rei?"

Shinji had been restraining himself in that area. The reason was that he was afraid they might go too far. He realized that there was no harm in going a bit further, as long as they kept their self-control.

Rei tilted her head downwards slightly, trying to hide her blush, "Yes Shinji…if you are comfortable with that…"

The girl continued, "I enjoy our moments of intimacy, and I would like to advance with them. I find them pleasant, and each time I feel…longing for something more…"

Shinji held her a little tighter, bringing her closer to him, "I'm okay with that Rei, but we're going to need somewhere private." He was glad they were more open about this, even if they were both a little shy.

The young girl raised her head, still sporting a blush, "Perhaps the Major's apartment?" she proposed. She would have proposed hers, but she found the Major's to be warmer and more comfortable than her vacant apartment.

Shinji tried to trace his memory and he did remember Misato saying something about being late, "Okay Rei, would you like do anything else?"

"Hey you two!" interrupted a cheerful voice.

Mana came walking up to the both of them, smiling and waving at them. Both teenagers were snapped from their little world and turned at their fellow Pilot. Mana stopped in front of them and asked, "You guys don't mind if I sit with you? I still don't know anyone very well…"

Mana had been going to the school since Monday, and she had caused quite a ruckus. The young woman had been lying about not having friends. She had proven to be quite popular, with her cheerful personality and excellent looks. Shinji himself was guilty of staring at her a bit too long at times. The truth was, Mana was meticulous in her tactics, and she had gotten her uniform a size smaller. More of her legs were visible, covered with thigh high socks, and her blouse gripped her chest closely. She was glad that it had paid off, since she would catch glimpses of Shinji eyeing her at times.

Mana looked at the two teenagers, both of whom were blushing, "Hey…" she began, giggling, "You two weren't talking about anything perverted were you?"

Both teens simultaneously blushed and looked down, confirming that they indeed were. Mana looked at the two, sitting down next to Shinji. She gave them a smile, "So what are you two planning to do?" Asked the flirtatious girl mischievously.

Rei looked at the intruding girl with some disdain, but held back her comment. The new pilot had proven to be a bit too friendly with Shinji. Mana had also been very free with her physical behavior towards her behavior. What unnerved Rei the most, was how she acted; it seemed calculated. Rei, however, kept this to herself; aware that she should not overreact. She may simply be jealous, so she wanted to be sure she had reason to suspect anything first.

"That is private, Kirishima," answered the first child, trying to instill that she was not welcome.

The spy decided to drop the subject; she didn't want to make any bad impressions, "All right, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to pry…"

Shinji looked at Mana as she took out her bento and began to eat some of its contents. Mana began to lean on Shinji, ostensibly for support. Shinji tried to focus on Rei, who was leaning on his left shoulder, instead of the friendly girl on his right. He hated to admit it, but he definitely liked Mana. She was a nice change of pace, and he was always in need of more friends. Not to mention that she was very attractive, and apparently not very shy physically. As she was leaning on Shinji, her legs were spread on the grass, revealing her stocking clad legs, enticing him. Shinji pushed way those thoughts and focused on Rei, leaning his head on hers.

Mana sighed internally, this would be tougher than she thought. She needed to meet Shinji alone to work her charm, but she could tell she was making progress. The couple was indeed a couple, spending most of their time together. She kept eating, reminding herself to be patient.

Arael looked at the amount of debate around the three. The angel knew the truth about Mana, and was wondering whether to tell this to the child he was hidden in. Arael however, had something bigger on his mind. Much bigger. Arimisael had continually been getting closer and closer…

* * *

"Alright Asuka, just try your best ok?" buzzed Misato over the intercom. 

Asuka nodded in response, and prepared for the test. She had to admit, she was nervous. Thankfully the familiar feeling of the plug suit clinging to her form and the hum of the Eva calmed her nerves slightly. Unfortunately, Ritsuko had mentioned something before she got in that… scarred her.

"_Asuka, before you get__ in there," began explaining the scientist as the elevator took the pilot to the scaffolding, "We don't know what that angel did to your Eva, but it affected it's and your mentality," Asuka cringed at the memories, but focused on Doctor Akagi's voice, "So, for all we know, it might still have some lingering effects from the attack…"_

The German bit her lip, as they began the initialization procedures for the test. She fidgeted in her seat, as she took deep breaths of LCL to calm her nerves. She understood the danger, but kept going anyway. She had to know if she could still pilot…

"Beginning test…" stated Maya, "Now."

It was instantaneous.

The redhead immediately felt the familiar connection to her Eva, but she could also feel the pain of the previous battle. Her body arched in the seat, shaking. She would have screamed, but she bit down her tongue to stop herself. She didn't want to scream. Even then, hisses and groans of pain still exited her mouth.

It felt like needles stabbing into her brain. It felt like every nerve in her body was on fire.

Memories flashed past her eyes, and voices rang through her head.

This aftershock, thankfully, was not continuous. It was sporadic, not unrelenting. This gave her seconds of control, which were enough to help her think. She would not let herself be defeated by this enemy again, and focused on control.

"Sir, we have to stop the test," this voice wasn't a memory, it was Misato's, "Her vital signs aren't stable" The pilot heard technicians screaming numbers, the wild beeping of computers.

"Let her finish," answered the commander coolly.

"But Sir-"

"No," interrupted Asuka sternly, "I-I can do this." She was barely able to blurt it out, but she meant it. The screams and voices died down, or maybe she just blocked them out. She ignored the pain, she ignored the memories. Slowly, she began to feel the presence of her Eva.

"She's barely going to able move with that synch rate, sir, we have to stop."

Asuka kept concentrating, her arms shaking, her face contorting. She had to pilot again, she couldn't be beat by this again. She focused on relaxing, as hard as that would be, and synching. Then it started, slowly but surely, the pain began to fade. Perhaps the aftershocks were wearing off, or maybe she had conquered them. Asuka didn't care, she started to feel her Eva responding. The voices died down, and the pain stopped altogether.

"Wait, her synchronization ratio is climbing…29…"

Asuka didn't let her guard down, she was sure there would still be pain.

"34…39…."

It never returned, and Asuka began to sigh in relief.

"47…52…"

The German opened her eyes. Once again, she felt safe in her Eva, at peace….

"57…it's holding steady at 57, sir"

"Well," added the blonde, "It isn't as good as 74, but it'll do…"

Asuka was worn out, her eyes were closing and she didn't even notice.

"All right Asuka, you can shower and change and we'll head home" stated the Major

The pilot's head dropped to her side. She was happy, she had defeated this thing. She could pilot again. She could see Shinji again…

"Major, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait…she seems to be falling asleep…-"

Before Asuka fell into slumber, she heard a whisper.

_Well done my child…_

* * *

The door to the Major's apartment opened, as Rei and Shinji entered. It wasn't dark, there was evidence Misato had been here before them. The windows were open, and there were some wrappers and a beer can strewn on the table. The couple entered, and Shinji quickly gathered and threw away the trash.

"So…" began Shinji, looking at his girlfriend, "What do you want to do Rei…?"

Rei sensed the small tinge of worry and nervousness in his voice, and she reached to caress his cheek, "I am not hungry Shinji, so may we perhaps hold each other?"

Shinji nodded, and he began to head for the couch. A tug on his hand, however, stopped him. He turned to see Rei standing in the hallway, holding his hand, "May we lay on your bed?"

Again, Shinji nodded, slightly nervous. The teens walked into his room, which had only a little light coming from his window. Rei kept pulling him towards his bed, and soon both teens were sitting on it. Rei hugged him, and she nudged him back so they were both in a lying position. Both teens turned to lie on their sides, as Rei faced away from the boy. Shinji wrapped his arms around her waist, and the girl let out a contended sigh. They remained that way for some time, simply listening to the other's breathing. Rei had closed her eyes, and every now and then would emit a content 'mmm'. Shinji's nerves calmed somewhat, as he enjoyed the soft warmth of the beautiful young woman in his arms.

Soon, Rei turned to face Shinji, and both looked into the other's eyes. Their lips meet. In short spurts at first, but eventually pecks became deep, romantic kisses. Their bodies pressed against each other, chest-to-chest, waist-to-waist, their legs entwined. Shinji's arms tightened around her waist, bringing her closer; her arms came around his neck, deepening the kiss. Their tongues mingled and their bodies rubbed together. Soon they were emitting labored breaths.

Rei broke a kiss, and Shinji looked to see if something was wrong. The young girl slid the straps of her school jumper to her waist, and tugged the red ribbon away from her collar. Now unimpaired, she un-tucked her shirt and turned to Shinji, who still looked nervous. The Blue haired girl closed in again, to continue kissing her fellow lover. Shinji again wrapped his arms around her, pushing himself to continue this wonderful experience. The girl had sneaked her arms to his shirt, and slowly began to un-tuck it. Her fingers then slowly began to unbutton his shirt, slowly, as the two continued to exchange passionate kisses.

Shinji suddenly felt his hands guided by Rei's, she led them to the bottom button of her blouse. Shinji stopped, but Rei continued kiss him, as she encouraged him undo the button. The young man understood, and began to unbutton the rest of her blouse slowly, chanting a mantra through his head.

_I mustn't run away!_

When they were undone, he helped her shed her top off, revealing her conservative white cotton and pale bare skin. Shinji took in the sight of her figure, and couldn't help but be amazed at her beauty.

Shinji felt her begin unbuttoning his white school shirt and allowed her to remove it without protest. The girl took the hem of his undershirt, and turned to look at his expression. Shinji nodded, and she lifted it over his head. Rei took a moment to rub the palm of her right hand on his smooth warm chest. She felt his muscles ripple slightly under her delicate fingers.

Rei reached back, and soon her bra was undone. Shinji watched breathlessly as she tossed it aside, unleashing her pert breasts to the air. Ayanami's breasts were breathtaking in their shape.

Both admired the other's physique for a few seconds, taking in the others body. They couldn't help but be amazed by what they hadn't seen before, the other's bare skin. Both panted, as they slowly approached the other. Soon their lips met once again, and their chest did as well.

A moan escaped them, as the feeling of the other's flesh on their own was ecstatic. They wrapped their arms around each other, bringing themselves as close as possible. The boy relished the feeling of her soft orbs on his skin, the girl shared a similar sentiment.

It was then that Shinji that took the initiative, as his hand brushed her tummy, moving carefully up to her right breast. Shinji paid careful attention to see if he was going too far, but saw no indication to stop. His other hand was circling her bare back, as he slowly placed his hand on her breast.

Rei stopped kissing him for a moment, as her crimson eyes stared into his. He carefully gave her breast a very soft squeeze and Rei emitted a gasp of pleasure. She craned her neck upwards, as Shinji continued to massage her orb. Shinji leaned in to begin kissing her neck, as she continued to emit small gasps and quiet moans. He cautiously toyed with her nipple, and soon her breathing was growing faster.

After a few moments of this, Rei began to feel her temperature rising. She could feel something building up. Her breathing became quick, labored breathes between small moans. Shinji descended, as he kissed her neck and collar. He kissed his way to her breast, and began to kiss and suck on both her nipples. Rei began to clutch him desperately, as the pleasure mounted to her breaking point in seconds.

The pale beauty moaned as she experienced her first small orgasm. It had built gradually to a final feeling of euphoria. Her entire body seemed to tingle from it. She felt her nether regions dampen, and she remained in this state for a few moments. Then, her muscles all relaxed as she let go of Shinji, exhausted. Shinji came to kiss her again, as she began to gasp for breathe. Her face was red, and he could feel her bare skin radiating heat. They parted, and Rei gave Shinji a soft smile.

The couple remained like this for some time, simply staring at the other. Rei nuzzled next to her lover, still savoring the experience. Shinji held her, admiring the beauty with which he had just pleasured.

"That was wonderful; I will reciprocate when you are ready." She kissed him softly, "you may touch me in this manner as you wish."

* * *

Asuka woke up, yawning loudly. They had woken her up after the test, and Misato had given her a ride home afterwards. She had felt exhausted, and had barely been able to bathe to get the smell of LCL off her. Afterwards, she had donned the first clothes she could get her hands on, some shorts and shirt, and fell asleep. Now that she was rested, she could focus on other things, mainly her growling stomach. As she got up and stretched, she noticed it was 2: 30. Wow, she had actually slept three hours.

This however, also meant Shinji was home. As she left her room, she was about to ask aloud if he was home, already desiring food that didn't come in a hospital tray. Before the words left her mouth, she noticed there were two schoolbags in the table. So Shinji was here, but with Rei. She looked into the living room, but found no evidence of them being there. Perplexed, her ears picked a noise coming from Shinji's room. As she made her way there, she noticed the room was dark, and the screen just slightly open. The German kneeled down, as she peeked in through the crack. What she saw amazed and startled her.

Both Rei and Shinji were lying on his bed, kissing and groping each other. Their shirts were on the floor, revealing their skin to the other. Asuka watched breathlessly as the two teens exchanged passionate kisses. She had known the two were dating, but she didn't guess either would ever…

The redhead continued watching for some time, until she saw Rei begin to take of her bra. Asuka gasped, and immediately fell back. She couldn't keep watching, but it was then she noticed that her hand had veered southwards.

_Oh my god…Am I actually wet?_

She quickly stood up and went into her room, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping. Closing her screen, she lied on her bed, curled up in a ball. What had just happened? Why had she reacted like this? What was she feeling for Shinji? She put a pillow over her head as she heard Rei moaning.

She wouldn't admit it, but she knew what she was feeling: Wanting.

* * *

Shinji was cleaning up the table from the light dinner of rice and vegetables he had made for Rei and himself. He was feeling rather happy. The couple had just had their first passionate experience, and he had enjoyed it immensely. Afterwards, they had laid there for some time, before both their appetite's got the best of them. Shinji had cooked, and they ate, still relishing their experience. Afterwards, Rei had left. Both had wanted to continue, but the Major could have arrived at any moment, and homework was not forgiving.

Shinji heard one of the screen doors opening, and he turned around to see a yawing Asuka. This shocked and startled him. She had apparently been released, but she was also apparently home this entire time, had she heard them…?

"Surprised to see me baka?" Asked the girl groggily.

Shinji shook his thoughts to come up with a response, "Uh, yeah, did they release you from the hospital?"An exercise in stupidity he quickly realized; she was standing before him.

Asuka nodded, "I'm fine, I can even pilot my EVA" Asuka yawned again, before asking, "Any food left? I'm starving"

Shinji nodded as he opened the fridge to get some of the leftovers out, "So uh, Asuka," he began tentatively, "I didn't know you were here the entire time. Where were you?"

Asuka blushed a little, thankful that the boy wasn't looking at her as she composed herself, "I was in my room, practically fell asleep as soon as I got here"

That was only partly true, since after seeing them she had stayed in her room. She had thought about coming out, but decided to wait until Rei left. It was humiliating. She could definitely not handled both of them. She had to make herself come out even with Shinji here.

Shinji emitted a sigh of relief, glad she hadn't heard them. He took out some of the rice and veggies along with some shredded cheese to make it more palatable for her and was turning on the stove when Asuka interrupted, "Just microwave it."

Shinji complied, putting the plate in and setting the appropriate time. He sat down on the table, across from Asuka, who had lazily set her head on top of her hands. Shinji had gotten to talk to Asuka for a bit, and had noticed she was calmer. She still teased him, and called him baka, but the screaming was practically gone. He couldn't say he didn't like the change, but it still unnerved him. He must have gotten used to it.

"Asuka," the girl raised her head slightly, as the boy interrupted the silence between them, "Umm, is anything wrong?"

The girl thought he had figured it out, but decided to make him be clearer, "What do you mean?"

"You're…" the boy began, trying to not sound rude, "different since you've woken up, I was just wondering…"

Asuka stood straight up from the chair, knowing full well Shinji was right. She didn't really know why this change had come in her. The red head had thought it was simply a laps, but she was hardly raising her voice anymore. Maybe it was because it was her past behavior that sent her into the coma, or perhaps it was because…

"Shinji," she brushed some of her auburn hair out of the way, it was still rather messy from all the sleeping, "I heard what you and Rei said to me while I was out…"

Shinji was taken back, had she actually been awake?

"You mean….you were conscious?" he asked, surprised and curious.

"No, no I don't think so…it was kind of weird" she answered, "It was garbled…but I understood…" She reached out to glasp Shinji's hand, and Shinji blushed at that, but the girl was not finished, "It meant a lot what both of you said to me…thank you…"

Shinji looked at the girl before him, who was almost crying and giving a sincere sign of gratitude. She was clenching his hand atop the table, and he returned the gesture as well. Shinji smiled, and so did Asuka, but their moment was interrupted by a ding.

Both turned to look at the microwave, which had stopped. Shinji was standing up to get it, but Asuka stood up as well, heading for the microwave. She sniffed, as she tried to hide her tears from Shinji. She stopped in front of it, realizing she couldn't compose herself.

Shinji saw her trying to get a hold of herself, and almost instinctively got closer, putting his hands on her shoulders. Asuka turned around to hold him, leaning her head on his shoulder. Shinji put his arms around her, as she sobbed quietly. The young man began to rub her back, as the girl continued to hold on to him. Shinji wondered what she had been through in that coma, but decided to keep his questions for later.

Asuka began to calm down, holding down what she wanted to say. She felt so weak, so vulnerable, and Shinji was actually holding her. He was obviously different from what she remembered, which made it all the harder. Why was she feeling this now?

_I really like you baka…_

As the young woman began to calm down, he lifted her head slightly, "Are you ok Asuka?" When the girl nodded, he let go of her, as both took a small step back. Shinji turned to the microwave, taking out the plate of food and offering it to the girl.

"Thanks Shinji…" she said quietly as she began to head to her room. Shinji was about to ask if she didn't want to watch TV while eating, but she anticipated it, "I need some time alone, kay baka?"

Shinji nodded, noticing the 'baka' was now more causal than derogatory.

The young woman walked into her room, closing the screen. She set the plate of food on her nightstand, and she sat down on her bed. She had almost broken down there. She couldn't talk to him, she felt like she needed to tell him. The girl rubbed her forehead, still wondering where these feelings were coming from. She needed to get her emotions straight…then she could decide what to do.

* * *

Shinji was lying on his bed, looking back on what had happened today. The entire experience with Rei was….amazing. He had relished every second. He was also glad they could advance, despite his shyness. Then there was what happened with Asuka, who was a little emotional right now. He had realized he had held her without even thinking, as if it was natural. It showed how much he had changed thanks to the angel…speaking of…

_Arael, you __haven't said much today…at all. Is something wrong?_

Arael had indeed been pondering something for most of the day, and it concerned Shinji. He had paid little attention to the flurry of activity, becaused he had focused on one thing specifically. Thankfully, he had succeeded.

_**Child, for the last few days I have felt my sister approach closer and closer…**_

_Sister?_

_**The sixteenth angel, sister Arimisael.**_

Shinji gulped, he had almost forgotten about his duties as a pilot recently. They seemed so far away…

_You mean…she's close?_

_**That is what I was focusing my attention on. My powers are still **__**severely limited, and I'm afraid you'll need much nutrition from it…but I succeeded.**_

_Succeeded_

_**I know when she arrives, Berserker, and it WILL be tomorrow…**_

Both ceased speaking, taking in the ramifications. Arael would have to keep his deal, and Shinji would have to fight. It was a situation neither wanted to be in. Shinji laid back down, his sleep leaving him with this piece of information…

He lay awake for an entire hour before falling asleep, wondering if knowing was that much better than not knowing…

* * *

AN: Okay people, I got some news for you, i won't say whether its good or bad, i'll just list it:

-I'm going to Japan for ten days, as a tourist and as practice. I've been practicing Japanese for about a year and a half now, so it'll be very fun and educational. What does this mean? While I intended to publish the next chap before i left, time constraints and homework had other ideas. So, you probably won't see chapter 17 until early April (I'll be catching up on homework and family before then) HOWEVER: I will be wriing a small diary over there, and will include some pictures in there. It'll be 11 pages, one for every day. If anyone is interested in this 'travelogue' of sorts, say so in the review or leave me a PM. Drop me your e-mail, and i'll send it to yeh as soon as possible.

-I really gotta thank Saturn, he saved my ass a couple of times. The lime would have been 'ehh' without him. He keeps pushing me for more, even though he rarely has time. He helps me a lot. Thanks man, i really mean it.

-Story wise, i want some critique people! I want reviews, of anything and everything. Like it? Tell me why. Hate it? Tell me why. My writting has changed and so has my style sligthly, so i want people to help me with their thougths.

-BTW, you have my guarentee the 16th will happen next chap. No more slow progress here. It's gonna be a doozy.

-Some funny, when i got a lot of corrections on my doc from Saturn, he said: "Don't blame me, my grammar checker hates you!"

Plenty of thanks for all those still reading, Sayonara!

Rizu (Squirrel in japanese)


	17. The 16th

THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you are wrong! (I don't, 'cause of copyright reasons. No, not ethical reasons)

**Proofread by 94saturn, thanks to you I'm still writing, don't you ever quit on me. **

CHAPTER 17: THE 16th

Shinji had been distracted the entire day, from the second he woke up to the moment their beepers rang. He knew the angel was going to attack today, and Arael reconfirmed it would indeed be today. Asuka, Misato and Rei all asked him what was wrong. He tried to lie, but he fooled none of the women. Asuka left it alone, Misato kept an eye on him during breakfast, and Rei asked him again. Sitting on his desk, he made up the excuse of being sleepy.

"Shinji, please," She had asked, "Tell me, what is the matter?" She looked at him with those red orbs, and he almost felt guilty for lying. He wanted to tell everyone, but it would look suspicious. How could he know before time?

"I'm just tired Rei, didn't really sleep well…" Shinji found some comfort in the fact that was true, it was the cause of his lack of sleep that was the problem…

The girl continued to look at him, as he tried to casually act tired. It was obvious that she didn't believe him, but slowly turned away. Maybe she expected him to tell her later, but Shinji felt horrible either way.

He was lucky Asuka came to school today, since she took the attention of most of the class. This included the attention of Mana, whom had yet to meet the second child. Both girls chatted for a bit, Mana analyzing anything she could. It didn't last long, as class started soon after. A few hours before lunch, the alarm went of.

Now Shinji was sitting inside his Evangelion, plug suit clinging to his body. Saying he was nervous was an understatement. It wasn't because of the angel; he got that every time, but the fact that he wasn't out on the field. Rei, Mana, and even Asuka had been sent to the surface. Even though they outnumbered it, he couldn't assist if anything went wrong. He hated it when Arael attacked, and he didn't want a repeat of that situation.

On the surface, Units 00, 02 and 04 were positioned in the surrounding countryside. They luckily had a few minutes to hide before the angel came into view. Mana and Asuka were closer to the angel, each one with an assault rifle. Rei was farther back, in position to help provide support with her sniper rifle. The angel had been floating slowly towards them. It looked like a golden halo in the sky, and it seemed to be rotating in place. It made a rather strange hum, which unsettled the three pilots. If it knew they were there, it made no indication.

Misato had wanted to use the Positron rifle again, but they didn't have time to set it up. The plan was to keep radio silence, then open fire on her order. They had given both Asuka and Mana external batteries, which would allow them ten minutes without having to use a power cable. Rei was connected to the main power grid, since she was in the city, but could remove it and join them in as well, since she had external batteries that would engage if she unplugged herself. Misato had wanted to use Shinji as well, but the commander had been very clear that he was to be used only in an emergency.

"The angel is approaching the kill zone, 35 seconds," reported Maya, and Misato nodded. She looked at Hyuga, and he nodded as well. Since they had wanted to keep radio silence, they decided to implement a timer instead of voicing orders.

Soon, all four pilots saw a small digital timer start counting down to zero. Mana and Asuka, both on opposing mountains, put their finger on the trigger; ready to pop out and unload their ordnance Rei began taking deep breaths, and began to contemplate how she would set her rifle on the adjacent building. Shinji, on the other hand, couldn't do anything. He couldn't tell them anything, and he couldn't do anything. He felt useless.

_Arael…is it possible that we can kill it__ with this plan?_

Arael contemplated the child's question before answering.

_**It is possible, but if sister **__**Armisael's field is up, it will be ineffective.**_

Shinji swallowed, _What can she do?_

_**Even we are unaware of the**__** each other's abilities…**_

Shinji could have sworn he felt Arael was nervous. He looked at his HUD, the timer had 5 seconds left, and held his breath.

* * *

Armisael could sense Lilith nearby, her final goal within reach. However, the human guardians must first be defeated. She had been watching her brethren's progress, and knew of their threat. Aware of the red, blue and green ones; and perhaps most importantly, the Berserker, she would not fail. It was simply a matter of time before they would appear and confront her-

"Zero..."

Armisael did not see the two Evas pop out from the mountains next to her, but she did feel the torrent of bullets impact her body. Unable to get her AT field up in time, many of them wounded her, piercing her golden frame. Blue blood fell on the surrounding countryside, as Armisael struggled to raise her field. Soon, she felt a much stronger penetration from the front. The angel could see that the blue one, inside the city, had a larger weapon than the others, and focused her AT field on her front.

Asuka and Mana emptied their rifles into the angel, as four more shots from Rei roared like thunder. Both Assault rifles clicked at about the same time, and the girls examined the damage. Asuka saw the Angel bleeding, and for a moment thought they had critically wounded it. Indeed, they all noticed some parts of its ring like body were now stained in blue blood. However, Mana noticed a key element…

The four sniper rounds Rei had fired were floating in front of the angel, as if they had impacted an invisible wall. Its field was still up, which meant it was still alive. They may have wounded it, but it wasn't over yet. Before it showed any sign of movement, Mana drew her progressive knife.

Misato and Shinji both noticed this as well, but Misato beat Shinji to it, "It's still alive! Rei, Asuka, progressive knives now!"

By the time Misato gave the order, Mana's Eva was already jumping over the mountain. Both Rei and Asuka began to draw their knives, but Mana had reacted faster. The green Eva landed close to the angel, clutching its progressive knife. Mana swung upwards, hoping to land a blow in an already wounded area. To everyone's shock, moments before the knife struck, the angel split in that exact location.

Shinji gasped because it happened too fast…

First, there was a blast of some kind and a scream, as Unit 02 keeled over before reaching the angel, dropping its knife. Then, the angel twisted its body to reach for Mana's right arm, which was still descending from the failed strike. Its snake-like frame wrapped around her forearm; smoke began appearing from the armor, as it seemed to fuse with the Eva itself. Mana began to scream, as much from the pain as from the feeling of something else inside her.

Shinji continued to watch in horror, unable to do anything else. Mana's Eva fell to the ground, writhing in pain. He could begin to see what appeared to be nerves forming where the angel was attached to her arm. Rei had unplugged herself and began running towards the angel, as Asuka began to stand up again. Misato began barking orders, but Shinji wasn't paying attention. He was looking at what Asuka was removing from her armor. They were bullets, the rounds from Rei's rifle.

_**Armisael**__** must have shot the rounds back at the Red one...**_

_Arael, what is it doing to Mana?!_ He asked, terrified as the girl could still be heard screaming. He was clutching the controls as it was all going down.

_**I believe **__**Armisael is beginning to fuse with her. Infect her Eva to control it, as Bardiel tried with the blue one.**_

"Unit 05 is being infected by the angel!" screamed Maya, confirming what Arael had told the young boy.

"Asuka, Rei, try to get it off her!" screamed Misato, as Asuka had now gained her footing again, and had reacquired her knife.

Before Asuka attacked though, one of snake-liked heads began looking at her direction. Six beams shot out at different angles, and quickly converged into a solid one at a pinpoint location. That location was Asuka's upper chest. The redhead screamed as her Eva fell to the ground and went limp.

"ASUKA!" screamed Shinji, as he saw the body of his fallen comrade. The beam, however, did not stop there, as the head soon turned to face Ayanami. Rei had noticed what it had done to Unit 02, and barely managed to dodge the beam. It hit the ground where she was a split second ago as she rolled out of the way. As the dust and debris settled, to Shinji's relief, he saw that Rei had taken cover behind a nearby mountain.

_**Berserker, we must assist before the situation worsens**_.

"Misato!" Screamed the third child, hoping they would allow him to go to the surface.

Misato didn't even bother with looking at the commander as she nodded to Hyuga. Unit 01 was launched from its pad, as Shinji felt the G-force as on his body. Fuyutsuki was about to scold the Major on disobeying orders, but the commander signaled the man to stop before he began.

"This time, we must risk it old friend; or we may lose all three of them"

* * *

Mana could feel her entire nerve system screaming. Her right arms felt numb, but it still burned. Worse than that, she could feel something else inside her mind, like it was trying to take control. She could feel the numbness start to climb to her upper arm and it would soon reach her shoulder. The brown haired girl barely noticed what had happened. Rei was nowhere to be seen, and Asuka was on the ground, not moving and with steam rising from her chest.

**Do not re****sist child, it will be much less painful. Even pleasurable.**

_Wha-what?_ She asked, as the voice seemed to be in her head.

The young woman did not hear an answer, as she felt a new wave of pain. For a moment, she lost control, and the pain faded. As it faded completely, she began to feel something else. Her muscles relaxed and her breathing returned to normal. She could feel heat all around her body, as her nerves began to register pleasure and not pain. Mana began to exhale in delight at the feeling of euphoria, as she squeezed her legs together, feeling herself getting wet from the experience.

Mana began hearing the people on the bridge debating, but her attention wasn't focused on that. It felt amazing. She felt heat building up inside her, as she began to hear something about being unable to disconnect her from the Eva. Another voice ordered to that the arm be detached immediately. There was screaming, someone said that Shinji was almost there. The cold toned voice repeated itself. That's all Mana understood, as she felt the numbness approach her shoulder. She was breathing rapidly now, the heat and pleasure rising to its peak.

Then she felt it, the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. It was if someone had cut her arm off. She screamed, reaching for her right shoulder. Her arm was still there, but it didn't feel like it. Her entire arm was on fire, as tears of pain streamed down her eyes. She could feel that she was blacking out, as her screams turned to whimpers. The last thing she saw was the person responsible…the coldhearted bastard himself.

* * *

Rei looked in horror as she saw Unit 05's arm come off. Mana's scream pierced her eardrums, as memories from her experience in the same situation came flooding back. She instinctively reached for her right shoulder, as if reliving the pain. She understood why, she heard the conversation, and even Mana's…moans…but it was still painful.

Rei peeked from the mountain to observe the angel. It dropped the arm on the ground, and looked at the now de-activated Evas before it. It looked as if it was debating whether fusing with either one would be worth it. It kept alternating between looking at Unit 02 and 05. Soon, however, both the angel's and Rei's attention were focused on the newly arrived Unit 01.

"Shinji…" She whispered, but feared that that may have given too much information.

The angel looked at where Unit 00 was hiding, and at where Unit 01 was standing, as if it had made the connection. It seemed, however, to remain completely still, its attention focused on Unit 01. This went on for some time, and Rei began reaching for her dropped knife.

Shinji looked at the terrible sight. The angel; a golden, floating snake, was hovering in between Unit 02 and Unit 05. Unit 02 had a hole in its front armor, whether it had gone deeper than the armor he didn't know. Unit 05 lay on the ground, without an arm. Both Asuka and Mana had been defeated in seconds. Neither Eva was moving. He had seen it happen, but he almost couldn't believe it. This angel was definitely powerful, and could also fuse with the Evas. Arael had explained that it would corrupt the Eva's and the pilot's mind in any way possible. Mana almost seemed to willingly submit to it…

Arimasael looked at the purple avatar before her. This one was different, unique from the others. Its stance was different, and it had an S2 organ. The heart of Zeruel, which the Eva had devoured not long ago. Armisael remembered watching in horror, as Zeruel almost succeeded. Then, it was replaced with the greater horror of the Avatar's rage. This was not a machine, not an angel, but a beast. Armisael could do nothing but to marvel at their greatest defender, the Berserker.

Yet, something was amiss. Armisael sensed something in him. It may have been the S2 organ, but it felt too familiar…

_**Hello, sister **__**Armisael**_.

The serpent cocked its head in curiosity

**Is that…**

_**It is I, Arael**_

**So, Tabris was right,**** you did not die.**

Shinji gulped nervously, as he heard both angels' voices. The 16th's was soothing, almost like a woman's.

**-but, why are you present in the Berserker's body?**

Arael was quiet, but Shinji could feel that the angel was nervous. Perhaps Armisael had intimidated him as well.

**It is a sad excuse of prolonging your existence. You failed brother, and there is no way you can succeed, why do you remain?**

Arael still didn't answer, and Shinji was getting extremely tense.

**Unless…You are here ****to assist me? You will incapacitate the Berserker?**

There was some hope in the angel's voice, as if it genuinely feared him. Shinji still couldn't get past the idea of these things fearing him. Arael kept his silence, and Armisael's hope died as she continued.

**Then why, ****why do you remain Arael? To observe Humanity's end and life begin anew? Surely you would not want to-**

The Angel stopped abruptly, as if it finally understood.

**You are**** here to stop me from succeeding**.

_**Yes…**_ Answered Arael rather solemnly, as if he himself was not proud of what he was doing.

**Arael…you are willing to kill your own brethren?**

_**We are not brethren. Our ambitions are individual, not collective.**__** We never assisted each other before, for we wanted the others to fail. I have failed…then I will not have others succeed. **_

Shinji began to notice both of their tones were getting angry, and Shinji gripped the controls tightly, ready for the fight to begin.

**Arael, does that mean you are now my enemy?**

Arael didn't answer.

**So be it.**

The snake's head pointed at Shinji, and he could see the six beams begin to shoot out in different directions.

_**BERSERKER, AT FIELD NOW!**_

Shinji's first reaction was to try and dodge, but he trusted the angel within his head. He raised his arms to try and deflect the blast, and focused on his AT field. A second later, the beam focused on his chest, but it actually broke up in front of him. The beam was being deflected into many directions, destroying the surrounding countryside. Shinji screamed and grinded his teeth, as his feet began to screech against the earth below him.

Shinji couldn't believe he had held, but he felt stronger. It couldn't have been him, or the new S2 organ. It must have been…Arael. The angel was adding it's own AT field to help him defeat Armisael. He couldn't believe it.

Then he heard a scream, and the beam seemed to weaken. He adjusted his arms to see what was happening, and saw that Rei had come and struck the angel's body with her knife. More blue blood splattered on the earth, as the angel twisted to look at the attacker. The beam ended, allowing Shinji to charge at the angel as well.

The angel was trying to dislodge Rei's knife, which was halfway buried in its golden frame. Rei continued to try and dig it in further. Before the angel tried to strike Rei, it felt Shinji approaching, and raised its AT field. Shinji swung his knife down, and it seemed to quiver for a second as it penetrated the angels AT field like paper. The angel barely had time to react, as it was wounded once again.

Both pilots were welcomed by a pitching scream, as the angel began to writhe in pain. Shinji was surprised at how he had penetrated the angel's field, but then he remembered Arael's assistance. Convinced he had no time to thank him; Shinji began to raise his knife to strike again, as Rei continued to drive her knife deeper into the angel.

Shinji, however, briefly saw six dots form in front of him. He raised his AT field, expecting another beam. He didn't expect six smaller ones shooting into him like a shotgun blast. His AT field held, but he was thrown backwards into a nearby mountain. His knife left his hand, as he felt his back contact the mountain. Wind leaving his body, the boy groaned, as he tried to get back up.

_**Child, we must not allow **__**Armisael to prevail!**_

Shinji cracked his eyes open, to see the angel still writhing. Rei, however, couldn't keep her hold on the knife handle, and the angel managed wrench itself away from her. The angel turned to look at Rei, her knife still in its body. Rei barely gasped as the angel came at her like a torpedo. It ripped through her AT field, and bulls eyed the middle of her chest.

Rei groaned in pain, as she felt not an impact, but a penetration. The angel was beginning to fuse with her. The girl could feel a hot pain forming in her chest, and it was slowly spreading. She tried to grab its body, as the knife was too far, to try and pull it out. She cursed her stupidity, as she felt the angel fusing with her hands as well. The pain was immense, as it spread slowly through her chest and forearms.

Shinji stood up out of sheer will, finding energy at hearing his girlfriend scream in pain. He felt a heavy pressure on his chest, since the pain from the shot was still there. He breathed in deeply and stridently as he slowly began to approach the angel. It was now fusing with Rei, as he could see some nerves spreading underneath Unit 00's chest. He approached it to try and strike it, but saw no knife in close proximity.

_**Berserker, on her body!**_ Indicated Arael, as Shinji saw the still half-buried knife in the angel's body. The angel, however, was moving too much for him to reach for it safely.

He knew the Evas had armor on the soles of their feet, so he reached to stomp one end. The young boy hoped it would not have the same effect as their hands, as he quickly slammed his foot down on the other end of the angel. He couldn't feel anything, but it trying to wriggle its way out. He exercised more pressure, and reached for the knife. As he clasped the handle and pulled, he was shocked to hear two screams: Armisael's and Rei's.

Shinji realized something; they must be sharing each other's pain as well.

**Try Berserker, for my wounds will affect your beloved just as harshly.**

Shinji froze in place, as the angel continued to try and wriggle itself from his grip.

_**Berserker, we cannot stop now!**_

Rei felt the wound, and she concluded what was happening. She also concluded what Shinji would do. More specifically, what he wouldn't do…With the last ounces of her strength, she began to reach around her seat. She barely stood up, but it was enough to reach her destination.

The Eva's self-destruct system.

* * *

Misato, and the entire bridge, watched in terror as the angel fused with Unit 00. Misato had been giving orders to both Rei and Shinji, but neither even seemed to acknowledge them. The woman understood though, they didn't have time to follow orders. It was the worst position a commander could be in, not being able to do anything but watch.

"Rei activated the self destruct mechanism!"

Misato's head whirled to the brown-haired tech, which was looking at her computer nervously. Ritsuko dashed next to Maya, looking at the computer and typing in a few commands. Misato expectantly looked at Ritsuko, who raised her head and nodded gravely. Misato cursed, as she screamed.

"Rei, why did you activate the self-destruct?"

"It is the only way…" Responded Rei feebly, as Shinji suddenly joined the conversation.

"Rei, Don't do this! W-we can still defeat it!" Shinji was frantic, considering the situation he was in, it was to be expected.

"Goodbye Shinji…" She added weakly, as the screen began to give out to static.

"REEEEIII!!" Screamed the boy, unable to do anything.

Misato couldn't believe it; the girl was actually sacrificing herself. She didn't know if it was bravery or stupidity, but there didn't seem to be another way…

"Shinji, try to get as far away as possible and…" Misato stopped as she realized something. Shinji might be able to escape the blast, or even survive it with his AT field. Asuka and Mana, however, were still unconscious nearby. Shinji wouldn't be able to…

"Cancel the countdown, do it now!" Maya and Ritsuko looked at her, an expression of shock and confusion on their faces. The Commander, once again, coolly interrupted.

"Major, I do not wish to sacrifice a pilot either, but what do you suggest we-"

Misato didn't give him a chance to finish, "Mana and Asuka are still out there, and we'll lose three of them with this!"

Maya and others gasped, realizing they had forgotten about the other two pilots. Ritsuko and Misato looked at the Commander, who for just a second seemed shocked at the realization. Fuyutsuki looked nervous as well, as if unsure what the decision would be.

He nodded, "Abort the countdown"

Misato sighed, "Shinji, hold tight, we're aborting the countdown"

"Wh-what?" Asked Shinji, as if he couldn't believe it himself.

Misato turned to look at Ritsuko and Maya, and her hope left her entirely. They were typing, but their looks were desperate.

"Rits, what's going on?" Misato walked towards the monitor, and still saw the countdown; it was at twenty-five seconds now. The screen was flashing red all over, and she looked at her friend for an explanation.

"It won't abort" Ritsuko stood up, trembling slightly, "We don't know why b-but it won't abort…"

Misato's eyes were glued to the monitor as she realized they would lose all three. Maya began to cover her face and cry. Ritsuko was still trying to type something, but the numbers wouldn't stop.

"Mi-misato?" Shinji began to get nervous, "Misato what's happening?"

Everyone looked at the monitor, as Shinji seemed to be pleading, "Misato, did it stop?"

Misato was at the border of tears, and couldn't bring herself to tell him directly, "Shinji…run…"

"NOOOOO!!" The Eva was looking around franticly, and it was obvious that Shinji was trying to find a way out of this.

"Shinji…" Shinji stopped at the voice, it was Rei's, and it was weak.

He turned to look at Unit 00, which was now almost covered by the angel's nerves, "Shinji…farewell…"

"Rei don't…please…" Shinji began to cry, as he realized it was over, there wasn't anything he could do to save her. He lowered his head, unable to say anything.

_**Berserker….you must raise your AT field…**_

"_Countdown aborted"_

Shinji immediately looked up, "What?!"

On the bridge, Misato turned to look at the Maya and Ritsuko, who looked just as confused as she was. Maya looked on the monitor in disbelief, and Ritsuko was typing into the keyboard. She stopped and looked at Misato.

"Did you do that?" Asked the purple haired woman, as the rest of the bridge began to look at the scientist.

"I wish, I have no idea of what happened," remarked Ritsuko, but then another window popped up. Misato didn't understand it, but Ritsuko's and Maya's wide eyes were enough of an indicator. It couldn't be good.

"Akagi, status report." The Commander was just as confused, as the others of what had happened, though he had an idea.

Ritsuko swallowed, as Maya began trying to explain, "Th-he angel-"

"The angel shut it down," finished Ritsuko, as she had noticed that Maya was having problems, "It has corrupted the Eva and the pilot enough to block our own signals."

"Does that mean…it's controlling Rei now…?" Misato looked at her friend, hoping that the answer wasn't yes.

"Not yet, but it will soon," Ritsuko removed her glasses, and leaned on the console, "We can't do anything from here, it's entirely up to Shinji."

* * *

Rei was shaking in her seat. The pain, it was unbearable, she had almost been wishing for the detonation to end the pain. She could barely bring herself to look at her body, which was covered in many areas by what seemed to be protruding veins. She continued to groan and scream in pain, now knowing this would not end. The angel had cancelled the countdown.

**I can't have my doll destroying itself so quickly, now can I?**

Rei grinded her teeth at the comment, but couldn't bring herself to even form a thought. The pain was slowing screeching its way to her neck and lower abdomen, her arms and chest now covered in these veins. She didn't know what they were, but she understood what they did. Her muscles were numb where they were present, and she couldn't do more than simply thrash in her cockpit. The angel was taking control of her.

**There is an alternative to pain child. Submit yourself, and the pain will be replaced…by pleasure.**

For a second, the pain disappeared, and she could feel all of her nerves glow with heat. It was quite comforting, even pleasant. It soothed her muscles, and they seemed to ooze at this. Rei moaned quietly, as she enjoyed a moment of respite.

Then, the pain returned like a hammer, clinching her muscles again. She hissed as she arched her back, and her limbs were stiff.

**What will it be?**

Rei knew that if she submitted to it, it would be over. She wanted nothing but to stop the agony, but she also knew the consequences.

"N-no…" She managed to whisper, defiant to the end.

**So be it.**

Rei screamed as the pain pierced her body like daggers, and began to spread.

* * *

Shinji was in shambles. He couldn't breathe well, he couldn't do anything to the angel without hurting Rei, and he had just had the scare of his life. Rei had tried to sacrifice herself to kill the angel, but the countdown had aborted itself, with only seconds to go. Shinji cringed as he heard Rei scream, it was getting worse, he could tell. He was patiently waiting to hear what had happened, but the voice that he heard was not Misato.

_**Berserker, **__**Armisael stopped it herself. The blue one is heavily infected. **_

Shinji's jaw began to drop.

_**We have no choice, it must be stopped now.**_

I-I can't.

_**What?**_

I can't do it. If we kill it, it'll kill Rei.

_**You do not kno-**_

You don't know either! He screamed, as the tears began to form. He couldn't bring himself to hurt Rei…

_**Berserker…have you already forgotten?**_

Shinji didn't know what he meant, as Arael began to tell him…

* * *

"_Shinji…If you ever, ever again find yourself in a situation like the thirteenth…"_

_Shinji's face turned to that of concern, waiting for Toji to finish._

"_I want you" he continued, "To promise me, that you'll do the right thing"_

_Toji was almost crying now, Shinji couldn't believe what he was hearing._

"_Even if it means killing a friend" his voice was starting to crack up "Promise me!"_

* * *

_Shinji swallowed before answering._

"_Yes Toji…I promise"_

* * *

Shinji sniffed as Arael finished reminding him. It was true…all true. Toji barely lived, and Shinji had jeopardized the lives of other simply because, he couldn't fulfill his duty…

Not this time…

He swallowed harshly, knowing that this was not going to be an easy thing to do…

He took a hold of the knife again, much the surprise of Armisael, and quivered there for a second.

_**Berserker…together…**_

Shinji nodded, as he began to pull it down, deeper into the angel's flesh.

He heard Rei scream, but focused on Armisael's. He had to kill the angel. Kill it before it controlled Rei. If it killed both of them…he would have to live with that.

* * *

Rei couldn't believe she was still conscious. After she felt the new wave of pain, she trembled and screamed. She thrashed in place, as if it would make a difference. This meant Shinji was willing to hurt the angel. Shinji would win. Even if she may die in the process. She could still feel the angel trying to fuse with her, but it was weakening as Shinji dug the knife deeper and deeper.

**Child, do you continue to resist me? **

Rei knew it was getting desperate, but she didn't bother answering. She rejected the angel's question, unable to say anything due to the pain.

**Child, you may resist me…**

…**but you will not resist…him.**

* * *

Shinji continued to dig the knife into the angel, and it was almost through now. He had drowned out Rei's screams, which the angel almost seemed to be broadcasting to him, in a feeble attempt to stop him. He continued to dig the knife through with all his strength, until…

Shinji only saw them briefly, but he saw six dots appear once again. He raised both arms and his AT field to block, which was exactly what Armisael wanted.

The boy suddenly felt a jolt on his foot, and realize the beam hadn't fired at all. It had been a distraction. Before he could react, he felt something jam his foot forward. The angel's tail had wriggled enough to free itself slightly, enough to wrap itself around its foot. He began to fall forward, but stopped himself from hitting the ground.

As he was about to twist to free himself, he felt the wind being knocked out of him. The angel's tail had dug itself into his S2 organ, and he began to groan in pain as his abdomen began to burn. He was on his knees, unable to stand. He had moved his hands to try and pry it out, but remembered that it would infect his hands as well. He franticly looked for something, anything to help himself. There was nothing nearby, and when tried to reach for the knife in the angel's body, it lurched into his abdomen even harder.

_**Berserker, do not submit!**_

Shinji could feel the pain slowing. Was it Arael? It was still no use, his chest and abdomen were in shambles. He could barely breathe, and his strength began to leave him.

Soon, however, the pain seemed to disappear. It was too sudden, so it could not have been Arael. Shinji then noticed something; a relaxing heat was replacing it. He would have fought against it, knowing full well what the consequences would be, but he felt something else…

"Rei…?"

* * *

Rei had been perplexed at what the angel meant, but one moment she was screaming from the pain of the knife, then she felt something. It was another presence, like when Armisael had fused with her. Except, it felt familiar. It wasn't even doing anything, and the pain seemed to be draining away.

"Shinji…?"

Armisael had done it, and there was nothing Arael could do now. Both of the pilots were now connected, and their wills were her playground. She knew neither would resist for one simple reason: they had an affectionate connection. Something she knew was a human weakness, which she was not afraid to exploit.

Rei and Shinji began to sense each other, but not simply physically, but mentally. They could feel the other's presence, which calmed both of them. As a comforting heat enveloped their bodies, it felt like the heat of the other's body. They could hear each others labored breaths; they could smell the other's LCL covered bodies. Their bodies were soon not so much their own, as they were each others.

They could feel what the other felt, which at this point, was pure pleasure. They were naked in more than the physical sense, as they were bare to each other. Soon, their breaths became fast and harsh, as they began to feel stimulation in every part of their bodies. It was nearly impossible to describe, but it was euphoria. For all intents and purposes, they were having a sexual experience.

Arael couldn't believe what Armisael was doing, and it was working perfectly. The children forgot all about the angel, and their will to resist melted away. Arael could no longer contact the boy, as Armisael was controlling them to such a large extent. Arael could do nothing, as both pilots were beginning to fuse with the enemy angel.

The fifteenth would have to think of something…but nothing came to mind…

* * *

"Ritsuko what's going on?" Screamed Misato, as she watched the angel fuse with both  
Evas, offering no resistance. Shinji had found the courage to fight the angel, then her hope was destroyed as it performed a perfect fake out on the young pilot.

"Misato, the angel is infecting the Evas at an alarming pace." She stated, looking at the numbers, graphs and various images on her monitor with Maya, "It seems like they're no longer fighting. As if they've submitted to it…"

"What?" Shot Misato at the scientist, as if she couldn't believe that the boy and girl would willingly submit to the angel, "Why would they do that?"

Ritsuko bit her lower lip, "I think I have an idea…"

Ritsuko had heard the audio from the cockpits first, and immediately turned it off afterwards. The blonde, however, needed to show the Major. She typed a few keystrokes into the computer, and Misato was greeted by the moans, gasps, groans, and other less appropriate sounds coming from the two pilots. Maya seemed to be surprised at the teenagers making such sounds, while Misato understood.

"It…it sounds like they're having…sex…" Remarked Maya, as the teens continued to… express themselves…

"Turn that off…" Ordered Misato, and Ritsuko complied immediately. Misato didn't know what to do, without the Evas, all they had was conventional weaponry.

"Doctor Akagi," Began the Commander, as all eyes turned to him, "Are the Evas now unable to fulfill their duty."

Ritsuko swallowed, trying to say something. Instead she simply nodded.

The Commander turned to his subordinate, "Kozo, request an N2 strike on the angel, preferably their largest payload available"

"Commander I must object," Interrupted Misato, barely stopping herself from screaming, "A payload that large would eliminate the Pilots and part of the city."

"I am aware Major," Stated the Commander, "But I see no other option."

"But…we are sacrificing the pilots for nothing!" Retorted Misato, desperately trying to look for any excuse, any other way… Normally the Evas could, hypothetically, withstand an N2 blast. However, it depended on their AT fields. They were all incapacitaded, and almost right next to the angel. There wasn't any doubt that the pilots would die…

"The N2 is only a stopgap, it will give us the time to prepare for the actual counter-strike" He explained, pushing his glasses back up.

"Sir, what counter-strike? The only other Evas in service are the Mass-production series, and they're in Europe. You aren't suggesting we keep bombing it until they arrive?" Asked Misato, who was trying to follow the Commander's logic. Granted it was better than nothing, but Tokyo 3 would be a crater by then…

The Commander stood up, as Fuyutsuki was coming back with a phone, "We will use the only other conventional weapon stronger than and N2 mine," He paused as he grabbed the phone.

_Stronger than an N2 mine?_ Thought Misato, as the commander began to talk into what she assumed to be the UN.

"Yes, proceed with the strike as soon as possible. Yes, 'Hand of God', situation: Dead Bird" The Commander passed the phone to his stunned friend, who preceded to continue talking. As the Commander had said this, Ritsuko had gasped, causing Misato to look at her.

"Rits, what did he mean?" She was familiar with 'Dead Bird', it meant Tokyo 3 and NERV had failed and should be considered useless and/or lost, "What does 'Hand of God' mean?"

Ritsuko turned to her purple-haired friend, shock in her expression, and remarked quietly, "Hydrogen Bomb…"

Misato immediately turned towards the Commander, "Commander, you cannot be serious!? A Hydrogen Bomb would destroy the entirety of Tokyo 3!"

"I am aware of the effects of said weapon Major, but we lack an alternative" He began to descend his section towards the crew section, "Using the N2 will buy us some time to evacuate the city, but we cannot be sure of how quickly it will regenerate."

He stopped in front of the crew, and addressed them all, "The Evas are lost, and we cannot risk a rescue of any kind. We will begin evacuating the city, and the Geo Front as soon as the N2 disables the angel." He began to walk out, but was stopped by Misato grabbing his arm.

Everyone looked at the two, not knowing what to expect. They were all incredibly nervous, as this battle has tested their wills.

"Please sir," Began Misato, pleadingly, "We cannot do this…thousands will die…we cannot bomb our own country with…with…" Her arm was shaking as it gripped the Commander's jacket.

The Commander, amazingly, removed his glasses and gently removed her arm from his, "Misato," He said, addressing the woman before him with her first name in God knows how long, "If we do not do this, billions will die."

He put his hand on her shoulder, and gazed at her sternly, "Would you prefer Rei and Shinji become its toys?" Misato began sobbingly quietly, as the Commander walked off, and Ritsuko came in to hold her broken friend.

Misato continued to cry, knowing that she had failed. Not only were her chargers going to die, but also were the people she had been tasked to protect. Ritsuko was whispering something, but she wasn't listening…

The Major fell on her knees, crying as her friend tried to comfort her.

* * *

_**Awaken!**_

Silence.

_**Do you not feel the danger you are in? The infection?**_

Nothing.

_**You must awaken spirit, you must save them!**_

A groan, Arael knew that was its weak point.

_**If you do nothing, the child will die!**_

Another groan, this one louder.

_**Fulfill**__** your purpose, protect humanity…and your child.**_

Arael relaxed as he heard a roar echo through. There was hope…

* * *

"Sir, the order has been confirmed. A B4 stealth bomber will be scrambled with the N2 payload. The ETA is approximately 4 minutes seconds." Fuyutsuki relayed the information to his old friend, who only nodded.

Gendo sighed as he took in the entire situation, he wished there was another way. Regardless, the plan would continue as planned, unless SEELE inter-

"Wait, Commander abort that order!" screamed the brown-haired tech as she looked at her monitor, which was flashing violently.

"Lieutenant Ibuki, explain yourself." Ordered the Commander, as Ritsuko rushed to see the monitor. Everyone looked expectantly to see what was going on.

"Sir…Unit 01 has gone-"

* * *

Shinji found himself in what could only be described as heaven-like euphoria. It had lasted for some time, but he was surprised when it was interrupted. Shinji had blacked out a long time ago, and only heard snippets of sounds of what was happening…

He felt something crashing into him.

The severing of the connection with Rei.

Rei screaming.

A screech.

And a sound he had hoped to never hear again…

Unit 01…eating...

* * *

AN: So, thats the chapter for ya. Oh yeah, this was always meant to be a 'climax' of sorts, i had this pretty fleshed out WAAAAAAY back in the beginning. I got to my first checkpoint, and trust me when i tell you, this will have large effect on all the characters. I had had ideas fleshed out in the beginning and middle, and NOW it gets interesting, trust me.

As for my early April date, I actually did try, but i missed 2 days at school. Now, i have no idea how, but every important assignment of a school quarter was assigned in those 2 days and blah blah blah. I am sleep depraved. The OTHER reason is simply, it turned out to be WAAAY longer than i expected. I originally meant it to be a 2 parter, then i made it into one. I thougth: Ehh, it'll be like 8 pages, ill get it done quick. Quick my ass, this is by far the largest chapter i have made, and in the shortest span of time.

Also, in that time, passed the 2 YEAR anniversary of my story. YAY, I AM A LAZY FUCK! Not to mention my birthday will be on Saturday.

I am now writing the travelogue, which will be LONGER than i expected it to be. Why? Well cause i love yo- who am i kidding, JAPAN ROCKED! Again, i am offering the travelogue to everyone. It will be done before i begin writing for the 18th chap, so there's always that. Just drop me your e-mail, AGAIN if possible so i can double check and what not. As for the next chap...ehh, id say late may at least.

Many thanks to Saturn, who continues to help and kick my ass. Seriously, read his story. It has delicious WAFF and Limes...mmm.

Leave reviews people, come on!

Peace,

Squirrel

PS: Oh what happened in the end you say? Well, before Armisael corrupts Unit 00 and 01 completely, Unit 01 go-

Just wait ya bastards, thanks for reading.

* * *


	18. Now?

The Mind of an Angel

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion.

Dedicated to 94saturn. Rest in peace my friend.

The world didn't open up to Shinji as much as blur into existence.

For once, he wasn't looking at the ceiling but instead at someone sitting on a chair in front of him. He wasn't lying down; he was propped up on the white bed, covered in white sheets, in a white room. There was a beeping, something akin to faint white noise as well. What looked like black snakes on his arms focused into wires attached to his body. The person on the chair, a man, was coming into view as well. Shinji took a breath and swallowed as he recognized him.

It was his father.

"Hello, son."

"F...father?" crawls out of Shinji's lips

"You're awake," he states.

Shinji allows his chest to inflate and deflate before continuing, "You...came to visit me."

"I requested that Dr. Akagi warn me when you would regain consciousness," a beep, "I have been here for the last hour."

"Thank you...for waiting."

Gendo's expression remains the same. Instead, he produces a folder Shinji hadn't noticed before. He opens it, but keeps his gaze on Shinji.

"What do you remember of your last engagement?"

Shinji can't understand the words at first, but then exhales sharply as he tries to adjust himself. His arms are dead weights, "With the 16th?"

"Correct."

"It attacked Asuka and..." he closes his eyes and lets his head fall back, "...Mana. Asuka and Mana. It disabled their Evas."

"Correct."

Shinji waits for a few beeps, then finds the courage, "Are they...?"

"Alive. What else do you recall?"

Shinji's chest loosens, he manages to raise hand up to his belly. The wires hurt.

"Then me and Rei attacked it. The angel..." he swallows, "it tried to infect Rei. And I couldn't..."

Shinji trails off, Gendo blinks, "You refused to engage the angel."

"If I hurt it, it hurt her..." Shinji finds himself looking at the ceiling again. The fan isn't on.

"What did Pilot Ayanami do?"

He closed his eyes, "She activated her Eva's self-destruct."

"Did she succeed?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't...the angel must have stopped it."

"Correct."

A moment passes. He gives himself a second.

Hello?

Nothing, just an echo of something that should be there. Shinji licks his lips and keeps going.

"Then I started attacking the angel again-"

"Why?"

Shinji looks at his father, "Wh-Why?"

"You refused to do so before. Why?"

Shinji looks at his hand and grips his sheets, "I remembered Touji."

Gendo's eyebrow twitches, "Pilot Suzuhara?"

"Yes..." Shinji sniffs, "He made me...I couldn't just do nothing again."

Gendo continues to look at his son, a gleam of something barely visible behind those cold frames of glass.

"Good."

Shinji nods. He knew it too.

"And then?"

"Then it started infecting me," Shinji scratches his stomach. It's sore.

"Did you fight it?" He asks, no judgement in his voice.

"For a bit...then I didn't."

"Why?"

Shinji stares at the sheets, "It felt like Rei."

"So you gave in."

Shinji doesn't answer. He can't look his father in the eye right now.

"Do you remember anything after that?"

He does. He remembers so much, a shame that begins coloring his cheeks red. He spares his father the details.

"I remember a roar," Shinji looks up, into the brown pupils behind those glasses, "I think I went berzerk. The rest is just..."

He doesn't bother to finish the sentence. His lungs feel like they've run a mile. Gendo glances down at the files and starts talking.

"We lost control of Unit 01, and it consumed the angel. Exactly like the 14th."

Shinji finds a taste in his mouth. He can't place it.

"At the time this happened, I had just authorized the use of an N2 mine to disable the angel. This was to be followed by a Hydrogen bomb."

"To kill it?" Shinji realizes he's interrupted, but his father is unmoved.

"A last resort. All five pilots, including yourself, would have been. The civilian deaths would also likely have been massive."

The sentence hangs over Shinji like an axe. He feels like saying or doing the wrong thing would cause it to fall.

"Thankfully," he grabs a paper from the folder and examines it. "It did not come to that."

Gendo stands, and slowly walks to the side of the bed. He places the paper above Shinji's chest, who reaches over to grab it. He starts reading it, but two words immediately pop out:

TYPE BLUE

It rings a bell.

"This is about an angel?"

"A blood test."

Shinji turns to his father, brow furrowed for a question, until his father points close to the top. Shinii reads and feels the wind knocked out of him.

"It's my blood..."

Shinji lets the paper drop to his stomach, but his father calmly picks it up.

"When Unit 01 consumed the 14th, it gained an S2 organ," Gendo puts the paper back in the folder, "When it consumed the 16th,-"

"I did."

He closes the folder, "Correct."

Shinji stares straight ahead, gripping the sheets. The beeping gets faster.

"Am-" he fights the invisible grip on his throat, "Am I an angel?"

A beep. Another. Another. He turns to his father, eyes pleading. Another beep. Gendo's lips part.

"No. You have not been classified as such."

Shinji sighs, his lungs no longer crushed, but his father continues.

"Were we not absolutely certain on the identity of the 17th, you may have been," Gendo walks back to the foot of the bed, "As of now, you are under observation."

Gendo lifts the chair and places it to the side, where it usually belongs. Shinji sits there, tears in his eyes for reasons he can't fathom, expecting his father to leave. Instead, he talks to the wall in front of him.

"You allowed a romantic relationship with another Pilot to hinder your duty."

Shinji's eyes go wide. He almost bolts out of the bed itself.

"Rei! Father, is she-"

"She is alive, and you are not to interact with her again."

Shinji freezes in place, as Gendo turns to face his son. He takes two steps towards the bed, and places immense weight to every word.

"Your feelings for each other were used against you," he pauses, "The result was the near death of humanity."

Shinji lays there, pinned by the words, as his father continues, "This, along with your recent complications, means you are unfit to pilot."

Gendo places his hands at the side of the bed, Shinji's hand inches away.

"You are not to see her again. Do you understand?"

Shinji looks at where the chair used to be, swallows, and answers truthfully.

"Yes..."

Gendo nods, stands up straight, and heads for the door. He opens it.

"Dr. Akagi will be here shortly."

He walks out. It closes.

Shinji can feel his muscles again, but he can't move them. He sits there, breathing out of his mouth, jaw quivering. The beeping continues as a tears refuse to fall. Words go out to no one in particular.

"What now?"

I do not know.

The answer doesn't help. It doesn't do anything at all.

- End... -

A note:

I stopped writing this story years ago, for a variety of reasons I won't really get into. I considered writing and reading fanfics something I'd left behind, but still I got the occasional alert and review. The fact that I left it unfinished, and that some people seemed to care about it, nagged at me for a long time. I won't finish this story as is, or rewrite it, because both of those would be lies. Instead, I've decided to add this small peek into what was the planned trajectory of the rest of the narrative. I never thought of the scene this way, but it felt fitting somehow. This is, however, for all intents and purposes, the last chapter I will write for this fanfic.

94saturn, a friend who helped me immeasurably to improve as a writer when I was young, died some years ago. He gave hours of his time to help me grow, and I felt I should honor his help with at least some type of closure. Thank you, and rest in peace.

I'm still writing, but they're my own projects now. Thank you all for being part of this ride, and good luck on yours.

-Atomic Squirrel


End file.
